Brenda Sparks: You know what? I have been nothin' but nice to you and your family since the day y'all moved in, and I'm over it. Watching you walk around all holier than thou, like you're better than everyone else. Well, guess what, you're not.
Mary: I'm gonna pray for you!

Georgie: How awesome was it when he fights those four guys at once?
Mary: They were asking for it. Dalton doesn't fight unless he has to.
Georgie: True, 'cause when the doctor says, "How many of these fights you win?" he says...
Both: Nobody ever wins in a fight. [both laugh]
Mary: Mm, and I like how smart he is. But doesn't feel like he has to show it off.
Georgie: No kidding. Maybe Sheldon should watch it.
Mary: Hey, what was Dalton's third rule of being a good bouncer?
Georgie: Be nice.
Mary: That's right.

Meemaw: Hi. I'm Connie Tucker. I'm Sheldon Cooper's grandmother.
Professor Ericson: Oh. Nice to meet you. He is a remarkable young man.
Meemaw: Yes, he is. He's also a very impressionable young man. Kind of like a lump of clay with a bow tie.
Professor Ericson: All I did was teach him about epistemology.
Meemaw: Whatever it is you're teaching him, it has made him question everything.
Professor Ericson: That's the goal.
Meemaw: Lady, I had to threaten him with a chicken so he'd put his pants on.

Adult Sheldon: I didn't realize until years later that my father was only asking questions about lightning and thunder to cheer me up. In fact, he would often pretend to be dumb just to make me feel better.

Mary: Mom, can you make the salad?
Meemaw: Sure.
George: Hey, don't put in any of those little tomatoes.
Meemaw: Hey, I don't tell you how to impersonate a lump of clay. You don't tell me how to make a salad.

Georgie: What are you doing?
George: Separating the whites from the colors.
Georgie: Whoa, that's racist.