‘A Party Invitation, Football Grapes and an Earth Chicken’ Quotes Page 1 of 4
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309. A Party Invitation, Football Grapes and an Earth Chicken
December 5, 2019When Brenda Sparks doesn't invite Sheldon to Billy's birthday party, Mary accuses her of not being neighborly. Meanwhile, George invites Dr. Sturgis to watch a football game with him.
Quote from Billy Sparks
Brenda Sparks: What are you doing out here?
Billy Sparks: Playing with Sheldon.
Brenda Sparks: You're missing your party.
Billy Sparks: But I'm having fun.
Sheldon: Do not be alarmed, our mission is one of peace.
Brenda Sparks: I'm gonna go have a little chat with your mother.
Sheldon: Seems unlikely; my mother's on Vulcan.
Billy Sparks: My mom is on Valium.
Quote from Billy Sparks
Congregation: [singing] Heart of my Own heart
Billy Sparks: [singing] Old MacDonald Had a farm
Congregation: Still be my Vision O Ruler of all
Billy Sparks: E-I-E-I-O.
Quote from George Sr.
Mary: And then she said she didn't want the other kids to see Billy hanging out with Sheldon.
George: That boy's only other friend is a chicken and she's worried about Sheldon?
Mary: What do we do? Tell Missy she can't go?
George: If we're only gonna let Missy go places where they want to have Sheldon, then she ain't gonna get out much.
Quote from George Sr.
George: Your mother won't let me have a TV in my room, so you're not getting one in yours.
Georgie: Why do you care what Mom says? You're the man of the house, what you say goes.
George: If you're not gonna take this seriously, I don't know why I'm talking to you.
Quote from Brenda Sparks
Mary: Sheldon and Billy are friends. My son should be at his party.
Brenda Sparks: [sigh] Look, I'm not trying to be mean here. Billy has a tough enough time with other kids without them seeing him pal around with the local weirdo.
Mary: I thought you weren't trying to be mean.
Brenda Sparks: That was the nicest way I could say it.
Quote from Sheldon
Dr. John Sturgis: So if Einstein's analysis of time is correct, the future's already happened, but we'll discuss that in more detail next week.
Sheldon: Or perhaps we already have.
Dr. John Sturgis: Exactly. [laughs]
Meemaw: Good one.
Quote from George Jr.
Georgie: It just don't make no sense. If I'm gonna pay for it with my own money, why can't I get a TV for my bedroom?
George: You have so much money, why don't you save it for college?
Georgie: If you're not gonna take this seriously, I don't even know why I'm talking to you.
Quote from Brenda Sparks
Brenda Sparks: You win. Hope you're happy.
Mary: This was never about winners and losers.
Brenda Sparks: Two kids means two gifts. And no Play-Doh, he'll just eat it.
Quote from George Sr.
George: So they don't want Sheldon at the party, and Sheldon doesn't want to be at the party, but you're making him go to the party.
Mary: I'm sure he'll have a good time when he gets there.
George: And this isn't just because you made a big fuss, and you're gonna be embarrassed if he doesn't go?
Mary: No.
George: For a good Christian lady, you sure do lie a lot.
Quote from Dr. John Sturgis
Dr. John Sturgis: Hello!
Georgie: Sheldon's not home.
Dr. John Sturgis: Oh. I-I'm here to watch a sporting event with your father.
Georgie: Really?
Dr. John Sturgis: Yes. He only called it "the game," so I don't know which one it is.
Georgie: Well, this is just great. Come on in.
Dr. John Sturgis: Thank you.
Georgie: Hey, Dad, Dr. Sturgis is here to watch football with you.
Dr. John Sturgis: Oh, football. Good, that was the one I read up on.
Quote from Sheldon
Sheldon: Hmm. Gallus gallus domesticus, otherwise known as "Earth chicken." Live long and prosper you filthy bird.
Quote from Billy Sparks
Billy Sparks: I thought you didn't like chickens.
Sheldon: Sheldon doesn't like chickens. Mr. Spock finds them fascinating.
Billy Sparks: Who's Mr. Spock?
Sheldon: I'm Mr. Spock.
Billy Sparks: I'm Billy.
Quote from Billy Sparks
Billy Sparks: What you doing?
Sheldon: Using my tricorder to collect data.
Billy Sparks: What's a tricorder?
Sheldon: It's a multifunctional handheld device used for scanning and analysis.
Billy Sparks: Cool. And what's everything you just said?
Sheldon: Fascinating.
Quote from Billy Sparks
Sheldon: Ensign Sparks, there appears to be a white object under this chicken.
Billy Sparks: It's called an egg.
Sheldon: Interesting. What is its function on this planet?
Billy Sparks: People eat them and throw them at me on Halloween.
Quote from Sheldon
Mary: I've got something here for both of you. It's from Billy.
Sheldon: I hope it's not another invitation.
Mary: It's probably a thank you note.
Sheldon: So now I have to write a you're welcome note? You people are killing me.