Sheldon: Paige? Why are you here?
Paige: The lecture.
Sheldon: Well, if you're looking to jump the line, I don't do cutsies.
Paige: No, I'm actually part of the lecture. Professor Patterson is my mentor at U.T.
Sheldon: Really? You're part of the quantum gravity team?
Paige: Yeah, it's actually really interesting. We've been examining all...
Sheldon: I know what it's about. It's why I've been waiting in line for three hours.
Paige: Wow, three hours to see me speak? I didn't know you were such a fan.

Paige: Your neighbors let you hang out with them?
Sheldon: I'm basically the social glue of our floor.

Mary: Oh, I know that you're hurting, and... I'm here for you, so... what do you need?
Meemaw: Great, take me drinking.
Mary: It is 3:30 in the afternoon.
Meemaw: Yes, it's called happy hour.
Mary: I have to make dinner.
Meemaw: Oh, fine. I'll just be sad and drunk by myself. Maybe I'll go home with the bartender.
Mary: Missy! I have to go out with your meemaw, but I'll be back later with KFC.

Paige: You didn't stay for the Q and A.
Sheldon: I had no Q's, and therefore, needed no A's.

Paige: Well, I thought that maybe we could just hang out.
Sheldon: Why would we do that?
Paige: 'Cause we're friends.
Sheldon: Are we? One time, you punched me in the face.
Paige: Yeah, that's what friends do. Can I come in?
Sheldon: Why aren't you spending the afternoon with your colleagues?
Paige: Well, Professor Patterson took the team out for drinks. That kind of leaves me on my own.
Sheldon: Fine, come in.

Paige: You got a roommate?
Sheldon: No, it's a single.
Paige: I have a chaperone. Mona. She's, like, 30. It's the worst.
Sheldon: Why do you need a chaperone?
Paige: Maybe they think I'm, like, some kind of troublemaker.
Sheldon: As the owner of the face you punched, they're right.

Paige: So, did you guys get, like, assigned to look after Sheldon or something?
Darren: No, he ended up in the room next door.
Oscar: So we took him in, like a dog.
Paige: Him being so young isn't, like, weird?
Sheldon: I'm basically 50.
Darren: And we're basically 12, so it all works out.

Paige: How do you have more friends than me?
Sheldon: I don't know. I don't even want them.
Paige: I thought that college was gonna be this amazing experience, but I hate it.
Sheldon: You're doing such interesting work with Professor Patterson.
Paige: What, you really think he wants to take suggestions from me? I'm not even a woman in science. I'm a little girl in science. They just trot me out like the novelty act to help get funding.
Sheldon: They did that to me here, too.
Paige: They did?
Sheldon: Yes, and I was very rude to the donor.
Paige: [chuckles] You're kidding. What happened?
Sheldon: He appreciated my honesty, gave the school a bunch of money.
Paige: Of course he did. I got to go. Mona's probably freaking out because instead of friends, I have a Mona. [exits]
Sheldon: Bye.

Mary: Let's just eat.
Sheldon: Without praying?
Mary: [chuckles] How silly of me.
George: You all right?
Meemaw: Well, she's had a whole beer, so who knows.
Sheldon: Mother.
Mary: Can we just pray? [sighs] Bless us Lord for the food we are about to receive and bless the hands that prepared it. And forgive me for that beer. My mother made me do it. Amen.
Meemaw: Snitch.

Sheldon: I can relate. A young lady brought chaos into my life as well today.
Missy: What happened?
Sheldon: Paige was visiting the university and got mad that I have college friends and she doesn't.
George: You're drunk, Sheldon has friends. This a crazy-ass dinner.

Adult Sheldon: Paige made me realize that maybe I wasn't the loner I thought I was. Maybe I was a social butterfly, or a social animal less horrifying than a butterfly. Get it off the screen. But the point is, I was becoming a people person.
Sheldon: You again?
Paige: Well, hello to you, too.

Missy: What else you bringing her?
Sheldon: Toothbrush, toothpaste, pajamas, and these feminine napkins. Is one box enough?
Missy: Should be plenty.
Sheldon: I hope so. She's been awfully moody.
Missy: Maybe you aren't the best person to be handling this.
Sheldon: Agreed, but I'm all she's got.
Missy: I feel like you should tell Mom.
Sheldon: I promised I wouldn't.
Missy: I know, but this sounds serious.
Sheldon: I got her a toothbrush and lady pads, what more can I do?

Adult Sheldon: I may have promised Paige I wouldn't tell my mother. Thankfully, Missy didn't. I don't know what lip gloss flavor says "mature," but that would be my sister.
Mary: Paige?
Missy: Where is she?
Sheldon: There's a note. "Sheldon, thank you for letting me stay here, but I have to go. I'm happy you're doing well. I need to find that for myself somewhere. I hope I can. Your friend, Paige."
Adult Sheldon: After a few frantic nights, Paige showed up at her mom's. They had a lot to figure out. Being a parent isn't easy. I know I made life difficult for my family. And my own kids do the same to me. Just yesterday, I had to take my son Leonard to the skate park, like a regular park isn't bad enough. It's safe to say, having children is challenging.

Darren: Do you play D&D?
Paige: No. I actually just sit in my dorm room and study because I have no friends.
Darren: That's a bummer.
Paige: Yeah. I think I'm gonna go. [exits]
Sheldon: Bye.
Darren: You should go after her.
Sheldon: Why? She's a bummer, you just said so.

Sheldon: Can you settle an argument? I said you're fine. Darren and Oscar said you're not fine.
Paige: [scoffs] Why wouldn't I be fine? I'm completely alone, and the one person I thought would understand is having the time of his life.
Sheldon: So... just to clarify...?
Paige: They're right, you're wrong.
Sheldon: Dang it.