Missy Quotes

Quote from the episode Quirky Eggheads and Texas Snow Globes

George Sr.: All right, see, when you get tackled in your own end zone, the other team gets two points and the ball. That's called a safety.
Missy: I thought one of the players was a safety.
George Sr.: Well, that's true, too.
Missy: I'm confused.
George Sr.: Now you know how I feel when you talk about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
Missy: What's confusing? Everything you need to know is in the title.

Quote from the episode Potato Salad, a Broomstick, and Dad's Whiskey

Mary: Okay, let's go over it one more time. House key's under the plastic owl by the front door. There's after-school snacks in the fridge. One for each of you. Emergency numbers are right there by the phone. First aid kit is in the hall closet. And you won't be needing it, but under the kitchen sink is a fire extinguisher.
Missy: Ooh, that looks fun.
Mary: For fires only, and don't be starting one just to use it.
Missy: It's like she can read my mind.

Quote from the episode Bible Camp and a Chariot of Love

Missy: Why is the monkey invisible?
Sheldon: I don't know.
Missy: Is it a ghost monkey?
Sheldon: Sure.
Missy: Then why isn't he in heaven?
Sheldon: Because there is no heaven.
Missy: What about monkey heaven?
Sheldon: There is no monkey heaven. There is no regular heaven. When we die, we cease to exist. That's it.
Missy: You better hope you're right. 'Cause if I end up in regular heaven and you end up in hell, I'm gonna laugh. But if you end up in monkey hell, I'm gonna laugh even harder.
Sheldon: Just paint your nails.
Missy: [prays] God, when Sheldon dies, please send him to monkey hell. Amen.

Quote from the episode A Mother, a Child, and a Blue Man's Backside

Mary: And you are not to bring filth like this into our house again.
Missy: That's not fair. Sheldon reads dirty stuff all the time, and you don't say anything.
Mary: He does not.
Missy: Check out the comic book on his desk.
Mary: What? Oh, my goodness. Oh. Oh, my. Hold on. No. No. Th-This blue man's backside is all over the place.
Missy: On page 112, you get to see his front side.

Quote from the episode Potato Salad, a Broomstick, and Dad's Whiskey

Missy: What's your homework?
Sheldon: Non-Euclidean geometry. How about you?
Missy: "Symonyms".
Sheldon: You mean synonyms?
Missy: I'm pretty sure she said "symonyms".

Quote from the episode A Brisket, Voodoo, and Cannonball Run

Sheldon: How come Georgie's not going?
Mary: He's grounded for eavesdropping on me and your father.
Missy: Well, I hope he learned his lesson.

Quote from the episode A Sneeze, Detention, and Sissy Spacek

Sheldon: What's going on?
Missy: I'm not feeling so good. [COUGHS LOUDLY]
Sheldon: Biohazard! Biohazard! [Sheldon jumps out of bed, runs out of the room]
Missy: Sucker.

Quote from the episode Dolomite, Apple Slices, and a Mystery Woman

Missy: What's up?
Mary: None of your business.
Missy: Why is he crying?
Mary: Again, it's none of your business. Please go.
Missy: Fine. Celeste and I know when we aren't wanted.

Quote from the episode An 8-Bit Princess and a Flat Tire Genius

Missy: When I grow up, will I be a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader? "Not likely." Darn it.

Quote from the episode Potato Salad, a Broomstick, and Dad's Whiskey

Missy: We'll be okay on our own.
Sheldon: Yeah, we need to prove we can do this.
Meemaw: All right. I respect that. And I'm happy to keep this little incident a secret.
Missy: Really? I'm telling everyone. It was hilarious.

Quote from the episode Pilot

Missy: Why can't we watch Duck Tales?
Sheldon: Because we don't learn anything.
Missy: It's TV! We aren't supposed to learn.

Quote from the episode A Slump, a Cross and Roadside Gravel

Missy: If you're unhappy, just ask God for help.
Sheldon: I don't believe in God.
Missy: [shushes] He can hear you. He knows if you've been bad or good. Like Santa, but he can send you to hell.

Quote from the episode Dolomite, Apple Slices, and a Mystery Woman

Meemaw: So what do you think, George? Is it time to have "the talk" with him?
Missy: What talk?
Mary: No talk. Nobody's talking.
Sheldon: If "the talk" is in regards to human reproduction, I already understand how that works.
Mary: How do you know that?
Missy: I told him.
Mary: Oh, Lord.

Quote from the episode A Computer, a Plastic Pony, and a Case of Beer

Missy: I can't believe Mom and Dad had a fight over beer.
Sheldon: I don't think the fight was about beer. I think there was more subtext.
Missy: You're probably right. Then again, I don't know what subtext is.

Quote from the episode Poker, Faith, and Eggs

George Jr.: [to Sheldon] Shh.
Sheldon: [to Missy] Shh.
Missy: Who do I shush?
George Jr.: Shh!
Sheldon: Shh!

Quote from the episode Pilot

Missy: All I know is, he's not in the same grade as me any more. And I'm thrilled.

Quote from the episode Pilot

Sheldon: Do you have evil thoughts?
Missy: I'm having one right now.
Sheldon: Really? What is it?
Missy: When we get home, I'm gonna kick your little balls.
Sheldon: You can't. They haven't descended yet.

Quote from the episode Quirky Eggheads and Texas Snow Globes

Adult Sheldon: I've always felt the world of subatomic particles would make an excellent video game. Uh, fortunately, thanks to my brain, I've been playing it for years.
Sheldon: You cheeky little muon, you know you don't belong there.
[As Mary turns to missy]
Missy: Don't look at me. He's your kid.

Quote from the episode A Computer, a Plastic Pony, and a Case of Beer

George Jr.: I'll get it! [answering the phone suavely] Hello, Georgie speaking.
Missy: Did you run to the phone? Do you feel stupid?

Quote from the episode A Brisket, Voodoo, and Cannonball Run

Sheldon: You were there. Don't you remember?
Missy: [SIGHS] I got nothing.