Sheldon: Can I go home now?
Mary: No, baby, they need to keep you here a little while, make sure you're okay.
Sheldon: Overnight?
George Sr.: Actually, a few nights.
Sheldon: No, tell them I'm going home.
Mary: Shelly, the doctors know what's best for you.
Sheldon: What's best for me is to be at home, in my own bed, with my books and my computer.
George Sr.: Well, I can bring you whatever you want. Just-just tell me.
Sheldon: I just told you: bring me home.
Meemaw: Moonpie, you're looking at this all wrong. You got your own room here, your own TV.
Sheldon: Is no one listening to me? I want to go home.
Missy: I'm listening, but I have no say in this.

Missy: I can still hear the sound of her fist hitting your face and your head bouncing off the floor.
Mary: That is enough.
Missy: It was like, "Thwack," and then, "Kathunk."
Mary: I said enough!
Missy: And there were doughnut holes. What a great day.

Sheldon: Good luck with your finger painting.
Missy: You're gonna get your ass kicked in high school.
Mary: (flicks Missy on the head) Hey!

Missy: That's the Fresh Prince. He's from West Philadelphia. Born and raised.

Sheldon: What's going on?
Missy: Mom and Dad are fighting.
Sheldon: What about?
Missy: Brisket. If they get a divorce, who do you think you'll pick to live with?
Sheldon: Well, Mom, of course.
Missy: I want Mom. Pick again.

George Sr.: Where's Georgie?
Mary: I don't know. I called him ten minutes ago.
Missy: He's probably curled up in a ball, crying about Veronica.
Mary: Why do you say that?
Missy: It's just what I'm hearing.
George Jr.: From who?
Missy: I'm kinda plugged into this town.

Missy: How come I don't get to go?
Mary: 'Cause you, me and Meemaw are gonna have our own fun.
Missy: Could we shoot guns at the gun range?
Mary: Mm, you're too young to go to the gun range.
Missy: Meemaw took me.
Meemaw: We pinky swore. What are you doing?
Missy: Oh, yeah. Don't listen to me. I don't know what I'm saying.

Dr. Sandra Thorpe: Missy, what do you think is happening in this picture?
Missy: The girl monkey on the couch is telling the guy monkey a secret. Must be something juicy, 'cause he's smiling.
Dr. Sandra Thorpe: Anything else?
Missy: It might be dirty, 'cause this girl monkey is sending the kid monkey out of the room. He doesn't want to go. He looks sad.
Dr. Sandra Thorpe: Is that all?
Missy: The monkeys on the couch are drinking tea, so it's a tea party.
Dr. Sandra Thorpe: Okay, very good. Let's look at another picture.
Missy: I'm not done. The monkey in the painting is wearing an old lady hat, so she's probably a meemaw monkey. She's not at the party, so she must be bowling or dead.

Sheldon: Mom and Dad won't take me to California to see Stephen Hawking.
Missy: You thought they would take you to California?
Sheldon: Yes.
Missy: They wouldn't even buy me this book at the book fair. I had to get it at the library. There's a booger on one of the pages.

Missy: What's your homework?
Sheldon: Non-Euclidean geometry. How about you?
Missy: "Symonyms".
Sheldon: You mean synonyms?
Missy: I'm pretty sure she said "symonyms".

Missy: Why can't we watch Duck Tales?
Sheldon: Because we don't learn anything.
Missy: It's TV! We aren't supposed to learn.

Missy: Boys are dumb.
Meemaw: D-U-M-B.
Missy: Dum-b?

Erica: I love that song.
Missy: I have a cassette of it, but I recorded it off the radio. You can hear Sheldon in the background saying stuff about Sir Isaac Neutron.

Adult Sheldon: I've always felt the world of subatomic particles would make an excellent video game. Uh, fortunately, thanks to my brain, I've been playing it for years.
Sheldon: You cheeky little muon, you know you don't belong there.
[As Mary turns to missy]
Missy: Don't look at me. He's your kid.

George Jr.: You have no idea how much it sucks to have a brother like him. Believe it or not, he's in my class.
Erica: My parents sent Paige to a private school.
Missy: Cool. We're too poor for that.

George Sr.: All right, see, when you get tackled in your own end zone, the other team gets two points and the ball. That's called a safety.
Missy: I thought one of the players was a safety.
George Sr.: Well, that's true, too.
Missy: I'm confused.
George Sr.: Now you know how I feel when you talk about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
Missy: What's confusing? Everything you need to know is in the title.

Missy: Didn't you already read that book?
Sheldon: I'm reading it again.
Missy: How come?
Sheldon: I clearly missed something. I couldn't find one person who wanted to be my friend.
Missy: Did you look at the card inside?
Sheldon: Why? That's just other people who checked out the book.
Missy: It's a list of losers like you who can't find a friend.
Sheldon: So?
Missy: So they're desperate, and you have their names.

Missy: Why is the monkey invisible?
Sheldon: I don't know.
Missy: Is it a ghost monkey?
Sheldon: Sure.
Missy: Then why isn't he in heaven?
Sheldon: Because there is no heaven.
Missy: What about monkey heaven?
Sheldon: There is no monkey heaven. There is no regular heaven. When we die, we cease to exist. That's it.
Missy: You better hope you're right. 'Cause if I end up in regular heaven and you end up in hell, I'm gonna laugh. But if you end up in monkey hell, I'm gonna laugh even harder.
Sheldon: Just paint your nails.
Missy: [prays] God, when Sheldon dies, please send him to monkey hell. Amen.

George Jr.: [after hitting more trash cans] Dang it!
Missy: Are you aiming for them?

Mary: And you are not to bring filth like this into our house again.
Missy: That's not fair. Sheldon reads dirty stuff all the time, and you don't say anything.
Mary: He does not.
Missy: Check out the comic book on his desk.
Mary: What? Oh, my goodness. Oh. Oh, my. Hold on. No. No. Th-This blue man's backside is all over the place.
Missy: On page 112, you get to see his front side.