Billy Sparks Quotes

Quote from the episode A Dog, a Squirrel, and a Fish Named Fish

Sheldon: How do we love our neighbors when our moms hate each other?
Billy Sparks: Who does your mom hate?
Sheldon: Your mom.
Billy Sparks: Hey, my mom hates your mom. Small world.

Quote from the episode A Dog, a Squirrel, and a Fish Named Fish

Billy Sparks: Hello.
Herschel Sparks: Hey.
George Sr.: Hey, Billy.
Billy Sparks: Was this fence window always here?
Herschel Sparks: No, son, that's a new fence window.
Billy Sparks: Anybody else getting dizzy?

Quote from the episode Freshman Orientation and the Inventor of the Zipper

Billy Sparks: Who's Melissa?
Missy: Me.
Billy Sparks: Then who's Missy?
Missy: "Missy" is short for "Melissa." Like how "Billy" is short for "William."
Billy Sparks: I don't understand.
Missy: You know how your real name is William?
Billy Sparks: I'm Billy.
Sheldon: No, we call you Billy, but your real name is William.
Billy Sparks: But my underpants say "Billy" in them. Mom, is my name William?
Brenda Sparks: [sighs] Yeah.
Billy Sparks: Then whose underpants am I wearing?

Quote from the episode Seven Deadly Sins and a Small Carl Sagan

Tam: You see a large red button. What do you do?
Billy Sparks: I press it.
Tam: The floor opens up and you plunge into a 60-foot pit.
Billy Sparks: I fly out. Up, up, and away!
Sheldon: Again, you're not Superman in this game; you're Superman for Halloween.
Tam: Which isn't till next week.
Billy Sparks: So I'm in a pit.
Tam: You're in a pit.
Billy Sparks: Then I blast my way out with my super breath! [BLOWING]
Sheldon: Just let him do it.

Quote from the episode Contracts, Rules and a Little Bit of Pig Brains

Billy Sparks: Hey, Sheldon, if your pizza's too hot, put ice on it. That's what I did.

Quote from the episode A Party Invitation, Football Grapes and an Earth Chicken

Brenda Sparks: What are you doing out here?
Billy Sparks: Playing with Sheldon.
Brenda Sparks: You're missing your party.
Billy Sparks: But I'm having fun.
Sheldon: Do not be alarmed, our mission is one of peace.
Brenda Sparks: I'm gonna go have a little chat with your mother.
Sheldon: Seems unlikely; my mother's on Vulcan.
Billy Sparks: My mom is on Valium.

Quote from the episode A Nuclear Reactor and a Boy Called Lovey

Sheldon: Why are you eating cereal for dinner?
Billy Sparks: I was hungry, and my parents are in their bedroom kissing.

Quote from the episode Bible Camp and a Chariot of Love

Pastor Jeff: Now, for a psalm 100 bookmark, who can name the apostles? [Billy raises his hand] Billy.
Billy Sparks: Sleepy, Grumpy, Doc...
Pastor Jeff: Those are dwarves. Anyone else?

Quote from the episode A Party Invitation, Football Grapes and an Earth Chicken

Congregation: [singing] Heart of my Own heart
Billy Sparks: [singing] Old MacDonald Had a farm
Congregation: Still be my Vision O Ruler of all
Billy Sparks: E-I-E-I-O.

Quote from the episode Demons, Sunday School, and Prime Numbers

Pastor Jeff: Okay, "What God means to me." Who'd like to go first? Billy.
Billy Sparks: I'd like to go third.
Pastor Jeff: All righty.

Quote from the episode Carbon Dating and a Stuffed Raccoon

Billy Sparks: Okay, ten cents a week for a whole year. I get the raccoon, and to tell people you're my girlfriend.
Missy: 15 cents a week, and if you say hello to me in school, I'll say hello back.
Billy Sparks: Deal.

Quote from the episode A High-Pitched Buzz and Training Wheels

Billy Sparks: Hey, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Hello, Billy.
Billy Sparks: Are you our new paperboy?
Sheldon: Yes, I'm joining the work-a-day world.
Billy Sparks: I work, too! I take care of our chickens.
Sheldon: Don't get the wrong idea. When I grow up, I plan on being a theoretical physicist.
Billy Sparks: Cool. I'm sticking with chickens.
Sheldon: All righty then. Have a nice day.
Billy Sparks: You, too. [looking at the newspaper] Oh, cool, it's Monday.

Quote from the episode Pongo Pygmaeus and a Culture that Encourages Spitting

Dale: Hey, Billy! You're supposed to be warming up.
Billy Sparks: I found a worm!

Quote from the episode Blonde Ambition and the Concept of Zero

Sheldon: All right, I'm given to understand you have a test coming up on negative numbers and fractions.
Billy Sparks: Yeah.
Sheldon: So, what part don't you understand? [Billy is silent] Oh, boy. Let's take it back a step. Where do you stand on addition, subtraction, multiplication and division?
Billy Sparks: I'm against it.
Sheldon: [exhales] [quietly] Oh, boy.

Quote from the episode Demons, Sunday School, and Prime Numbers

Tam: You walk down a hallway and come to a wooden chest. Lord Gray Matter, what do you do?
Sheldon: I poke it with my dagger to see if there are any traps.
Tam: There are no traps. Fire Beak, what do you do? Billy?
Billy Sparks: What?
Tam: You are Fire Beak.
Billy Sparks: Okay.
Tam: So what do you do?
Billy Sparks: I'm Fire Beak.

Quote from the episode Blonde Ambition and the Concept of Zero

Sheldon: Okay. Negative numbers are numbers that are less than zero.
Billy Sparks: But zero's nothing.
Sheldon: Yes.
Billy Sparks: So how can you have less than nothing?
Sheldon: Let's see. How about this? If you have a dollar, that's one. If you have no dollars, that's zero. But if you owe me a dollar, that's negative one. Does that make sense?
Billy Sparks: I think so.
Sheldon: All right, we're making progress.
Billy Sparks: Mom! I owe Sheldon a dollar.

Quote from the episode A Party Invitation, Football Grapes and an Earth Chicken

Billy Sparks: I thought you didn't like chickens.
Sheldon: Sheldon doesn't like chickens. Mr. Spock finds them fascinating.
Billy Sparks: Who's Mr. Spock?
Sheldon: I'm Mr. Spock.
Billy Sparks: I'm Billy.

Quote from the episode Blonde Ambition and the Concept of Zero

Sheldon: Okay, your basic arithmetic skills are disappointing but functional.
Billy Sparks: Thank you.
Sheldon: All right, let's talk about negative numbers.
Billy Sparks: I'm all ear.
Sheldon: "Ears."
Billy Sparks: No. "Ear." This one's clogged.

Quote from the episode A Party Invitation, Football Grapes and an Earth Chicken

Sheldon: Ensign Sparks, there appears to be a white object under this chicken.
Billy Sparks: It's called an egg.
Sheldon: Interesting. What is its function on this planet?
Billy Sparks: People eat them and throw them at me on Halloween.

Quote from the episode A God-Fearin' Baptist and a Hot Trophy Husband

Billy Sparks: You like meatloaf?
Missy: Yeah, is that what we're having?
Billy Sparks: No, just making dinner conversation.