George Sr. Quotes

Quote from the episode A Therapist, a Comic Book, and a Breakfast Sausage

George Sr.: And Sheldon's fine. You know what he's like. If someone took him, I'm sure they'll bring him right back.

Quote from the episode Demons, Sunday School, and Prime Numbers

Mary: Anyway, I'm sorry to drag you into this, but it is demons, so it's in your purview.
Pastor Jeff: It is indeed. In fact, at a recent Young Baptist Leaders Conference, I attended a seminar on satanic leisure activities.
Mary: And?
Pastor Jeff: And the important lesson is, rather than have a parent or authority figure take the offending game away, let God remove it, root and stem.
Meemaw: Question, PJ. Uh, how's the big guy do that?
Pastor Jeff: Simple, Sheldon needs to start attending Sunday school. If he likes books with demons and devils, I've got one that will blow his mind.
George Sr.: What book is that?
Mary: The Bible, George.
George Sr.: Sure, yeah.

Quote from the episode Cape Canaveral, Schrodinger's Cat, and Cyndi Lauper's Hair

Mary: You're a good dad.
George Sr.: If I don't kill one of them before Sunday, I'm a good dad.

Quote from the episode Pilot

George Sr.: What the hell were you doing out there?
Mary: George, language.
George Sr.: What language?

Quote from the episode A Dog, a Squirrel, and a Fish Named Fish

George Sr.: I don't understand why that dog is so interested in Sheldon.
Missy: Maybe Bucky likes the way Sheldon smells?
George Sr.: Your brother washes himself three times a day. He has no smell.

Quote from the episode An Eagle Feather, a String Bean, and an Eskimo

Mary: All right, let's say grace.
George Jr.: [SNIFFLES] Guess I get to hold hands with you now.
George Sr.: Guess so. Maybe Sheldon's mittens weren't such a bad idea.

Quote from the episode Demons, Sunday School, and Prime Numbers

Mary: I'm worried. There are incantations in this book to summon actual demons.
George Sr.: Is that how we wound up with you?
Meemaw: That's a good one. I'm gonna give you that.
Mary: This is not a joke. This is one of the children's games we were warned about in church.
Meemaw: Then tell him to stop playing.
Mary: It's not that easy. He's finally got a couple of friends. I don't want to scare them off.
George Sr.: Well, when you're ready to scare kids, you got this face locked and loaded.
Meemaw: All right, the other one was funny, now you're just being a jackass.

Quote from the episode Jiu-jitsu, Bubble Wrap, and Yoo-hoo

Meemaw: I bowled a new high score last night.
George Sr.: Nice.
Meemaw: I got two turkeys.
Missy: What's a turkey?
Meemaw: It's three strikes in a row.
Missy: Why do they call it a turkey?
Meemaw: Well, when they first invented bowling, they used to just throw frozen turkeys at the pins. Eventually, they switched to balls to cut down on the smell.
George Sr.: Why you lying to her?
Meemaw: I find it keeps my mind sharp.

Quote from the episode Jiu-jitsu, Bubble Wrap, and Yoo-hoo

Herschel Sparks: I don't know what to tell you, George. I mean, is it, is it possible your son has a little crush on her?
George Sr.: Oh, I don't think he's wired that way.
Herschel Sparks: Oh, are you saying that he's a-
George Sr.: No, no, I'm saying he's a bookworm. Unless she's math or a dictionary, he ain't interested.

Quote from the episode A Brisket, Voodoo, and Cannonball Run

George Sr.: I'll be right back.
George Jr.: Mind if I have a sip of your beer?
George Sr.: You mind if I dip your head in the compost heap?
George Jr.: You could have just said no.