‘Potential Energy and Hooch on a Park Bench’ Quotes Page 1 of 3
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503. Potential Energy and Hooch on a Park Bench
October 21, 2021Sheldon seeks Dr. Linkletter's help to convince Dr. Sturgis to return to the university. Meanwhile, Dale unwittingly encourages Georgie to make a life-changing decision.
Quote from Dale
Georgie: [o.s.] Did you like school?
Dale: Hated it. I quit and I joined the Army.
Georgie: [o.s.] How was that?
Dale: Less girls, more getting shot at.
Georgie: [enters] Well, at least you made it out alive.
Dale: Well, then I got married. Made me kind of miss getting shot at.
Georgie: Have you ever been happy?
Dale: Ooh, let's see. No.
Quote from Dr. John Sturgis
Sheldon: But why are you wasting your time here when you could be doing science?
Dr. John Sturgis: I told you, I'm happy here.
Sheldon: How could you be happy? You have a doctorate in physics, and you're sticking labels to a case of beans.
Dr. John Sturgis: I had to work here a month before they let me use this thing. And yet, I could go buy a real gun on my lunch break. Ha! Texas, huh?
Sheldon: But don't you miss trying to unlock the secrets of the universe?
Dr. John Sturgis: Sheldon, I spent my life chasing theoreticals. Here, I have tangible accomplishments and I get to listen to relaxing Top 40 music. Do you know this band, Air Supply? They're terrific. [sings] ♫ I'm all out of love ♫ ♫ I'm so lost without you ♫ ♫ I know you were right ♫ ♫ Believing... ♫
Quote from Dr. John Sturgis
Dr. Linkletter: So what do we do about it?
Dr. John Sturgis: We sing.
Dr. Linkletter: What do we sing?
Dr. John Sturgis: [sings] ♫ When you're too old to work ♫ ♫ And you're too young to die ♫ ♫ Who will take care of you? ♫ ♫ How will you get by? ♫ ♫ When you're too old to work ♫ ♫ And you're too young to die ♫ ♫
Dr. Linkletter: I don't think I know that one.
Dr. John Sturgis: Hmm. Do you know "Lollipop"?
Quote from Sheldon
Missy: How come Sheldon doesn't help with the dishes?
Sheldon: When you do their taxes, I'll do the dishes.
Mary: If you don't like washing dishes, that is a good reason to stay in school and get your diploma.
Sheldon: You have a high school diploma, and you wash dishes every day.
Mary: Thank you. Helpful.
Quote from Mary
George: Kids in bed?
Mary: Not all of 'em.
George: Mary, if we let Georgie stay here, we're just makin' this all too easy for him.
Mary: I don't want to fight. I just want to know that our son is okay.
George: He's fine. He's stayin' at your mom's.
Mary: [sighs] Well, that's something. Although, where does she get off thinking that it's a good idea for him to drop out of school and then lettin' him live with her after he does it.
George: That's what I said.
Mary: Good! Maybe they'll learn to mind their own business!
Sheldon: [enters] Will you please stop fighting?
Mary: Oh, no. Sweetie, no, we're not fighting. We're just agreeing with each other angrily.
Quote from Dr. John Sturgis
Dr. John Sturgis: So how come you're here tonight? Were you too drunk to ride your bike home, too?
Georgie: My father's mad 'cause I dropped out of school.
Dr. John Sturgis: [chuckles] Ironic. Sheldon's upset 'cause I'm not going back to the university. Look at us. A couple of dropouts.
Georgie: Don't you have a PhD?
Dr. John Sturgis: Two, but I was trying to find common ground over which we could bond.
Georgie: All right. You wouldn't believe the day I had. My dad kicked me out. My girlfriend broke up with me. And now I got to find a second job.
Dr. John Sturgis: I drank hooch on a park bench and sang "Lollipop." It was tremendous.
Georgie: I think I saw you. Were you with some other guy?
Dr. John Sturgis: Yes.
Georgie: What happened to him?
Quote from Sheldon
Sheldon: Ooh. Perhaps this is a good time for a physics joke.
Missy: It isn't.
Sheldon: That's the cool thing about physics, time is relative. Okay, here we go. Why was the pirate worried that his shoes were less than "H"? [silence ] Because he had to walk the Planck. [silence] Get it? Because Max Planck is a famous physicist who discovered a constant which is represented by "H." And then he...
Quote from Dr. John Sturgis
Dr. Linkletter: Well, I'm here to convince you to come back to the university. A mind like yours needs to be working on the advancement of science.
Dr. John Sturgis: Well, I did that for 50 years. Now I'm content just keeping these cucumbers crunchy.
Dr. Linkletter: But exciting new things are happening in string theory. Don't you want to be a part of that?
Dr. John Sturgis: Wasting years scrambling away at the academic hamster wheel? Constantly worried that your life's work is just one big dead end?
Dr. Linkletter: Sure, some paths of research may not pan out, but we still have to try, right?
Dr. John Sturgis: Do we?
Dr. Linkletter: Of course.
Dr. John Sturgis: I don't know. Einstein spent the last 30 years of his life on the grand unified field theory and got nowhere.
Dr. Linkletter: Well, I wouldn't say nowhere, but I suppose he never did crack it.
Dr. John Sturgis: And to this day, no one has.
Dr. Linkletter: True.
Dr. John Sturgis: In fact, most of his major accomplishments occurred when he was a young man, which you and I most certainly are not. [chuckles]
Dr. Linkletter: Sometimes I look in the mirror and I think, "Who is that?"
Dr. John Sturgis: Would you like to give these cucumbers a spritz?
Dr. Linkletter: No, thank you. Do you sell liquor here?
Quote from Dr. John Sturgis
Dr. Linkletter: So what does it all mean, John?
Dr. John Sturgis: Maybe you should ask someone who isn't drinking on a park bench. [both chuckle]
Dr. Linkletter: You work your whole life. It all seems so important at the time, but is it?
Dr. John Sturgis: That's a good question. It puts me in mind of, uh, Camus' The Myth of Siphisus... Siphaphis...
Dr. Linkletter: Sisyphus.
Dr. John Sturgis: That's the guy. Every day he rolled the rock up the mountain, and every day it rolled back down.
Dr. Linkletter: That's what it seems like. But you escaped. You stopped rolling that rock.
Dr. John Sturgis: Well, that's what I thought. But every single bag of groceries I fill, there's another one right behind it.
Quote from Sheldon
Sheldon: Although I do think Missy should stay in school.
Missy: You think everyone should stay in school.
Sheldon: Well, I understand why someone like Georgie would rather work, but if you drop out, I think you would regret it.
Missy: Why?
Sheldon: Historically, women in the workplace have been undervalued. You don't want to make it easier for people to do that to you.
Mary: He's right.
Quote from Adult Sheldon
Adult Sheldon: In physics, potential energy is a fascinating topic. Objects like springs store energy when they're coiled, waiting to unleash their full potential and soar to the heavens. Would you look at me go! Even in toy form, I'm shooting for the stars. While the potential energy of an object can be measured in absolutes, human potential remains more elusive. Sometimes, people seem to have all the potential in the world, but for some reason stay stuck to the ground.
Quote from George Sr.
Coach Wilkins: Darlene and I love to go line dancing.
George: Next.
Coach Wilkins: Let's see. There's the Roundabout.
George: What's that?
Coach Wilkins: It's a roller rink. They have cool lights and a DJ. It's like a disco.
George: So, when I said no to line dancing, you thought, "Let's put George on wheels."
Coach Wilkins: Ooh. Take her bowling.
[George pictures Brenda Sparks working at the bowling alley]
George: I don't want to take her bowling.
Quote from Coach Wilkins
Coach Wilkins: Fine. But it doesn't matter where you go. She's just gonna be happy you're trying.
George: I hope so.
Coach Wilkins: It's nice to see I'm finally rubbing off on you.
George: I am capable of being a decent husband.
Coach Wilkins: Oh, of course you are.
George: Don't patronize me.
Coach Wilkins: I could stop, but then what will we have left?
Quote from Dr. Linkletter
Dr. Linkletter: What do you want?
Sheldon: I need you to talk to Dr. Sturgis. He's wasting his time working in a grocery store.
Dr. Linkletter: Oh, then the rumor is true?
Sheldon: Yes.
Dr. Linkletter: Good, I spread it heavily at the faculty mixer.
Sheldon: Well, please. He won't listen to me. I'm hoping you can talk some sense into him.
Dr. Linkletter: Sheldon, he's a grown man. Perhaps in a little apron with a nametag... Is how I'm picturing it.
Sheldon: That's exactly right.
Dr. Linkletter: Excellent.
Quote from Dr. Linkletter
Sheldon: So, will you talk to him?
Dr. Linkletter: Look, if he doesn't want to come back, I certainly can't force him.
Sheldon: But he's wasting his potential.
Dr. Linkletter: I'm just curious, if he were to come back, would you spend more time with him, and therefore less time with me?
Sheldon: I suppose so. Why?
Dr. Linkletter: No reason. Get out.