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  • The Geezer Bus and a New Model for Education

    413. The Geezer Bus and a New Model for Education

    April 8, 2021

    After Meemaw and Sheldon are involved in a car accident, Sheldon is afraid to get in the car to go to college. Meanwhile, Missy uses their trauma to get out of doing homework, while Meemaw is forced to take the church shuttle bus.

Quote from Dr. John Sturgis

Dr. John Sturgis: [on the phone] Oh, my goodness. Was anyone hurt?
Meemaw: No. But now I got no car for a while.
Dr. John Sturgis: You could ride your bike.
Meemaw: An old lady on a bike? That's not cool.
Dr. John Sturgis: Really? Then I won't ask how I look on one.
Meemaw: You look great.
Dr. John Sturgis: I know. I just wanted to hear you say it. [Meemaw chuckles]

Quote from Dr. John Sturgis

Dr. John Sturgis: [on the phone] So, there's no one who can lend you a car?
Meemaw: There is the church shuttle, but that just feels like it's the end of the line.
Dr. John Sturgis: Oh, I wouldn't say that. There's all sorts of depressing steps before the end. You've got full-time nursing care.
Meemaw: Bye, John.
Dr. John Sturgis: Assisted living.
Meemaw: Bye, John.
Dr. John Sturgis: Hospice.
Meemaw: Bye, John.
Dr. John Sturgis: Life support.
Meemaw: Bye, John!
Dr. John Sturgis: Pulling the plug. [chuckles]
Meemaw: Bye, John.
Dr. John Sturgis: Then... you make a miraculous recovery!
Meemaw: Great!
Dr. John Sturgis: But... the hospital bills leave you destitute!
Meemaw: Bye.
Dr. John Sturgis: Bye.

Quote from Sheldon

Adult Sheldon: My mother eventually coaxed me back into a car with a trip to RadioShack. She knew I was nervous so she came up with an interesting distraction.
Mary: Baby, how about we play a car game?
Sheldon: I suppose. Can I make it science-based?
Mary: Sure.
Sheldon: I'll say an element starting with "A," then you repeat that and add one starting with "B."
Mary: I don't think I'll get very far.
Sheldon: Great. Then I'll win. Aluminum.
Mary: Okay, uh, you said "A" for aluminum. "B." Is boron an element?
Sheldon: Yes.
Adult Sheldon: It was the beginning of a new tradition. One that would eventually bring countless hours of joy to Leonard on our drives to work. Much like my mother, he never beat me.
Mary: I don't know an element that starts with "D."
Sheldon: I win. That was fun. Round two. Argon.

Quote from Sheldon

Adult Sheldon: People often ask why I was so resistant to getting a driver's license. My spotty history with motor vehicles was certainly a factor.
[flashback: Georgie driving Sheldon and Missy to the hospital:]
Sheldon: Please slow down.
Georgie: I'm going eight miles an hour. A cow just passed us.
Missy: You're gonna hit it!
[flashback: George driving through a car wash with Sheldon:]
Sheldon: Make it stop!
George: It's just a car wash.
Sheldon: Do something!
George: It's just a car wash.
Sheldon: We're gonna die!
George: Just a car wash.
[flashback to Sheldon on a go kart:]
Sheldon: Why did I agree to this? I don't care for this at all.

Quote from Meemaw

George: Tow truck's on the way.
Mary: You sure we shouldn't call an ambulance?
Meemaw: I'm fine. Sheldon?
Sheldon: I feel fine.
George: What happened?
Meemaw: Oh, a cat ran in front of me.
George: You couldn't stop?
Meemaw: I tried, but the brake just gave out.
Mary: Well, thank goodness it wasn't worse.
Meemaw: I should have aimed for the cat.

Quote from Meemaw

George: Looks like your car's gonna be out of commission for a while.
Mary: If you need a ride, the church offers a shuttle service.
Meemaw: I'm not getting on that geezer bus.
Mary: It's just for people who can't get around.
Meemaw: That's 'cause they're so shriveled up, they can't even see over the steering wheel.
George: I've driven that van... it is grim.

Quote from George Sr.

George: [to Meemaw] Hey, when you take the shuttle, bring hard candy. They gobble it up.

Quote from Meemaw

Meemaw: [on the phone] I don't care what your guy says. Have him check it again. [hangs up] Sorry, I'm cranky.
Dale: No problem. I like when you yell at people who aren't me.
Meemaw: Stupid mechanic said the brakes are just fine.
Dale: Well, you probably stepped on the wrong pedal.
Meemaw: I didn't.
Dale: I'm just saying, it happens with people our age, you know.
Meemaw: I've been driving my whole life. I know which pedal is which.
Dale: Now you're yelling at me.
Meemaw: Sorry.

Quote from Sheldon

Dr. Linkletter: [answers phone] Grant Linkletter.
Sheldon: Dr. Linkletter, Sheldon Cooper. I wanted to let you know I won't be in class today.
Dr. Linkletter: Is everything all right?
Sheldon: Yes, but in the interest of self-preservation, I've decided to avoid traveling in motor vehicles.
Dr. Linkletter: I'm sure there's a story behind that.
Sheldon: There is.
Dr. Linkletter: I don't want to hear it.
Sheldon: So, how shall we handle today's class?
Dr. Linkletter: Well, I'm sure you can get notes from another student.
Sheldon: Or you could give the lecture to me right now.
Dr. Linkletter: That's preposterous.
Sheldon: Why? We could be creating a new model of education where students could learn remotely. It could be the wave of the future.
Dr. Linkletter: Sheldon, it's your responsibility to come to class, not mine to bring the class to you.
Sheldon: My meemaw gets cranky like this when she's hungover. Is that what's happening here?

Quote from Mary

Mary: [answers phone] First Baptist of Medford. How may I bless you?
Meemaw: I thought Peg answered the phones.
Mary: Mom?
Meemaw: Yeah.
Mary: Something I can help you with?
Meemaw: No, it can wait.
Mary: You want the number to the shuttle, don't you?
Meemaw: [sighs] Yes.
Mary: Let me get that for you. Huh. Um, looking under "G" for "geezer bus," and it's not there.
Meemaw: Oh, that's hilarious.
Mary: Maybe it's under "O" for "old fogies."
Meemaw: You know, you're not being a very Christian person right now.
Mary: I have enough prayers in the bank, I can coast for a day.
Meemaw: Just give me the number!
Mary: All right. Now, remember when you call to let them know if you need any help getting up stairs.

Quote from Sheldon

Adult Sheldon: Dr. Linkletter wouldn't give me what I wanted. I couldn't tell on him to his mommy, but I could to his "work mommy."
President Hagemeyer: Sheldon. What can I do for you?
Sheldon: I can't make it to school today, and I'm concerned about the physics class I'm missing.
President Hagemeyer: And how come you're not here?
Sheldon: I was in a car accident with my meemaw.
President Hagemeyer: Oh, my God. Are you okay?
Sheldon: Well...
[flashback:]
Sheldon: I can't believe you'd use my traumatic experience to manipulate people.
Missy: [echoing] Really? I can.
[present:]
Sheldon: ...and then her car had to get towed away. It was quite a traumatic experience.
President Hagemeyer: Oh, you poor thing. What can I do to help?

Quote from Sheldon

Dr. Linkletter: [on the phone] One can choose the extended-zone scheme, the reduced-zone scheme or the...
Sheldon: Hand-raise.
Dr. Linkletter: Yes?
Sheldon: I set you up on speakerphone, so now it's really like I'm learning in the future.
Dr. Linkletter: May I continue?
Sheldon: Ahead warp factor five. That's from Star Trek, which is also in the future.

Quote from Meemaw

Meemaw: I just think it'd kill me to lose my independence like that.
Hortense: Oh, it's not so bad. Sometimes Clayton takes us to the park.
Vern: Like dogs.
Meemaw: I got places to go... Bowling league, water aerobics, I drive my grandson to college.
Hortense: Why can't he drive himself?
Meemaw: Well, he's 11.
Hortense: Wha...?
Vern: 11 and in college?
Meemaw: He's special.
Hortense: Our grandson is 27.
Vern: Mm, he may be the other kind of special.

Quote from Sheldon

Mary: Can I help you?
Chet: Grocery delivery for Sheldon Cooper?
Mary: What is it?
Chet: Looks like milk, straws and three cans of Strawberry Quik.
Sheldon: Oh, boy. Thank you. [to Mary] Would you tip him? I'm a little light.

Quote from Meemaw

Meemaw: Tell me, when was the last time you went and got all dolled up at a salon?
Doris: I don't even remember.
Hortense: It's been years.
Vern: Does it look like I go to a salon?
Meemaw: We're going now. I'm gonna take you, and it's on me.
Vern: This is exciting. [laughter] It's a good thing I got my heart pills.

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