Popular Quotes

Quote from the episode Cape Canaveral, Schrodinger's Cat, and Cyndi Lauper's Hair

Adult Sheldon: I never did get to see a launch in person, but that was the best trip I ever had. I wish I had told my father while he was alive.

Quote from the episode A Sneeze, Detention, and Sissy Spacek

George Jr.: I think the saddest part about it is just how sad it is.

Quote from the episode Cape Canaveral, Schrodinger's Cat, and Cyndi Lauper's Hair

Adult Sheldon: I didn't realize until years later that my father was only asking questions about lightning and thunder to cheer me up. In fact, he would often pretend to be dumb just to make me feel better.

Quote from the episode Carbon Dating and a Stuffed Raccoon

Sheldon: Dad, do you believe that fossils are millions of years old?
George Sr.: I guess. Why?
Sheldon: Well, Mom believes the world was only created 6,000 years ago.
George Sr.: Yeah. So?
Sheldon: Are these differences a sticking point in your marriage?
George Sr.: Not at all.
Sheldon: Why?
George Sr.: Simple. We never talk about it.
Sheldon: So you just avoid discussing topics you don't agree on?
George Sr.: At all costs.

Quote from the episode A Financial Secret and Fish Sauce

Adult Sheldon: Visiting Tam's house for the first time was an emotional roller coaster.
For example, it's traditional in Vietnamese homes to have gruesome religious iconography near the entrance. I did not like that.
However, it's also customary to not wear shoes around the house for sanitary reasons. I did like that.
Interestingly, one of the main ingredients in Vietnamese cooking is an extremely pungent condiment known as fish sauce. I did not like that.
But before every meal, it's common for everyone to wash their hands and face. I did like that.
Forks are not customary in a Vietnamese household. I did not like that.
And instead of napkins, there was one towel for everyone to share at the table. Seriously, what are they thinking?

Quote from the episode A Swedish Science Thing and the Equation for Toast

Meemaw: John?
Dr. John Sturgis: Hello.
Meemaw: What- What're you doing?
Dr. John Sturgis: I was doing tai chi and then I realized that I was continually being bombarded by subatomic particles and it behooves me, perhaps, to pay slightly closer attention to them. Maybe "chi" is the ancient Chinese word for the subatomic universe.
Meemaw: You're scaring me, John.
Dr. John Sturgis: Well, there's nothing to be scared of. Tomorrow, somebody will win the Nobel Prize about these particles not me. But I'm experiencing them firsthand [LAUGHS] which could be better.
Meemaw: Why don't you come down and experience them on the floor?
Dr. John Sturgis: I think I just felt a neutrino. [LAUGHING] You know, neutrinos are interesting. They never bond with anything, they're always alone. I think that one went right through my pants.
Meemaw: All right, why don't we go downstairs, and I'll fix us both a nice cup of hot tea and you can tell me all about it. Please?
Dr. John Sturgis: Okay. It was my dream to win the Nobel, and I'm not going to. I bet Sheldon will.
Meemaw: That'll be something.
Dr. John Sturgis: Yeah.

Quote from the episode An 8-Bit Princess and a Flat Tire Genius

Adult Sheldon: I've fought many digital battles in my life, but none are as memorable as this first one with my Meemaw. By handing me the controller, she was telling me she believed in me. That inside my small, fragile frame beat the heart of a hero.

Quote from the episode Pilot

Mary: You understand that some people are going to be intimidated by you, because of how smart you are?
Sheldon: Or maybe they'll recognize my intellect and make me their leader.

Quote from the episode Pilot

Pastor: In Matthew nine, verse four, Jesus said, "Why would you entertain evil thoughts in your hearts?"
Sheldon: Do you have evil thoughts?
Mary: Ssh.
Sheldon: I just don't think this part applies to me.
Mary: That's fine. Be quiet and listen.
Sheldon: I'm only nine years old. Most evil doesn't start till puberty.

Quote from the episode Dolomite, Apple Slices, and a Mystery Woman

George Sr.: Oh.
George Jr.: Oh, what?
George Sr.: You didn't mention she was black.
George Jr.: Was I supposed to?
George Sr.: No, 'course not.
George Jr.: Then why bring it up?
George Sr.: It just wasn't what I was expecting.
George Jr.: What were you expecting?
George Sr.: It's a big school. Why are you right here?
George Jr.: They've got some books in there about Martin Luther King. Maybe you should go read one.

Quote from the episode A Proposal and a Popsicle Stick Cross

Meemaw: Hello?
Dr. John Sturgis: Did you know that word "hello" wasn't used as a greeting - until the invention of the telephone?
Meemaw: Hi, John.
Dr. John Sturgis: To end a phone call, it was suggested to say, "That is all."
Meemaw: Is that all, John?
Dr. John Sturgis: No, I wanted to invite you to dinner tomorrow night.
Meemaw: Great. Where we going?
Dr. John Sturgis: I can't tell you that. It's a surprise.
Meemaw: You want to give me a clue so I'll know how to dress?
Dr. John Sturgis: Well, dress as if you were going to a Mexican restaurant.
Meemaw: Oh, we're going to Puerta Roja.
Dr. John Sturgis: I can't tell you that, it would ruin the surprise.
Meemaw: John, you do realize that I'll be the one driving us there.
Dr. John Sturgis: Fine, we're going to Puerta Roja, but everything else is a surprise. That is all!

Quote from the episode Pilot

Adult Sheldon: That was the first time I held my father's hand. I wouldn't touch my brother's hand until seventeen years later, thanks to the invention of Purell.

Quote from the episode A Computer, a Plastic Pony, and a Case of Beer

George Jr.: What are you doing?
George Sr.: Separating the whites from the colors.
George Jr.: Whoa, that's racist.

Quote from the episode An 8-Bit Princess and a Flat Tire Genius

Mary: I don't know, I think his education should come first.
George Jr.: Come on, Mom. It's not like I'm gonna graduate "val-dictator-torian."

Quote from the episode Vanilla Ice Cream, Gentlemen Callers, and a Dinette Set

Adult Sheldon: In that moment, I had an epiphany. I could draw up a contract for any social relationship. It was a helpful way to remove ambiguity in a world that was often hard to understand. Article three Sheldon will not spy on Meemaw's house with binoculars.

Quote from the episode Dolomite, Apple Slices, and a Mystery Woman

Adult Sheldon: As you can see, sometimes a person can be both incredibly intelligent and full of baloney.

Quote from the episode A Crisis of Faith and Octopus Aliens

Mary: Sheldon, faith means believing in something you can't know for sure is real. And right now, I am struggling with that.
Sheldon: So you don't believe in God anymore?
Mary: That isn't something for you to worry about. I need to figure this out myself.
Sheldon: Can I help? Maybe I could provide a fresh perspective.
Mary: I don't think so, baby.
Sheldon: Did you know that if gravity were slightly more powerful, the universe would collapse into a ball?
Mary: I did not.
Sheldon: Also, if gravity were slightly less powerful, the universe would fly apart and there would be no stars or planets.
Mary: Where you going with this, Sheldon?
Sheldon: It's just that gravity is precisely as strong as it needs to be. And if the ratio of the electromagnetic force to the strong force wasn't one percent, life wouldn't exist. What are the odds that would happen all by itself?
Mary: Why are you trying to convince me to believe in God? You don't believe in God.
Sheldon: I don't, but the precision of the universe at least makes it logical to conclude there's a creator.
Mary: Baby, I appreciate what you're trying to do, but logic is here. And my problem is here.
Sheldon: Well, there are 5 billion people on this planet and you're the perfect mom for me. What are the odds of that?

Quote from the episode Pilot

Adult Sheldon: Jane Goodall had to go to Africa to study apes. I just had to go to dinner.

Quote from the episode A Swedish Science Thing and the Equation for Toast

Adult Sheldon: A primary feature of quarks is that they're always bonded together, but in that moment, I felt like a neutrino, destined to be alone forever.
[Montage of young Leonard, Penny, Raj, Howard, Bernadette and Amy at that moment]
Adult Sheldon: Thankfully, I was wrong.

Quote from the episode Dolomite, Apple Slices, and a Mystery Woman

Adult Sheldon: Anger is an ugly emotion. Unbridled rage even more so. And when it bubbled up inside me, I channeled it the only way I knew how. I cleaned the house like a man possessed.