Ms. MacElroy: Tell you what I do. I send him on little errands. Like the other day, I told him, "Go to the supply room and get me a framastan."
Coach Wilkins: What's a framastan?
Ms. MacElroy: No such thing. I made it up. He was gone the whole period.
Ms. Ingram: [laughs] I'm using that.
Ms. MacElroy: Don't use framastan. That's mine.

Meemaw: You sure you're not jealous 'cause your little brother's moving up in the world?
George Jr.: Hey, I got plans of my own.
Meemaw: Do tell.
George Jr.: Soon as I graduate high school, I'm gonna be a professional male model.
Meemaw: That is hilarious.
George Jr.: What? I'm good-lookin'.
Meemaw: No, that you think you'll graduate high school.
Missy: The model thing was funny, too.

Adult Sheldon: As you can see, even as a small child, people cherished having me around and wept over my absence.

Mary: I'm telling you, this is a terrible idea. This is a terrible, terrible idea.
Meemaw: He's gonna be fine. You'll see.
Mary: I can't believe you're okay with this.
Meemaw: I'm not okay with this. I'm just trying to be strong for you!
Mary: What? You thought him leaving was a good idea.
Meemaw: Oh, I only said that because you thought it was a bad idea. You know how it's always my nature to go the other way. Say "up."
Mary: Up.
Meemaw: Down.

George Jr.: Where you going?
George Sr.: To get Sheldon.
George Jr.: Do I get a vote in this?
George Sr.: No.
George Jr.: Dang.

Flora: All right. Dig in.
Sheldon: Excuse me. Aren't we going to say grace?
Flora: Uh, we don't do that in our house.
Sheldon: Oh.
Flora: But you're welcome to do so.
Sheldon: That's all right. I don't believe in God.
Elliot: Well, then why would you say grace?
Sheldon: Because it makes my mom happy.
Flora: And why are you wearing mittens?
Sheldon: Well, I don't know where your hands have been.
Flora: Okay. Maybe we should just eat.

Meemaw: Me and the kids had a nice day. Watched a lot of football.
George Jr.: You know, the Dolphins' helmet has a dolphin on it. And that dolphin is also wearing a helmet. But his helmet doesn't have a dolphin on it, it has the letter "M."
Meemaw: We talked about that for an hour.

Adult Sheldon: Sleep didn't come easy that night, knowing that, at any moment, I could be decapitated.
And as if that wasn't bad enough, the bed in my room had a dust ruffle, which, to my young mind, only meant one thing: there was dust.

Adult Sheldon: "You'll not see nothin'." Shame on whoever wrote that.

George Jr.: [to Mary] Why you cryin'?
Meemaw: Why you stupid?

George Sr.: Sheldon, can you come in here for a minute?!
Sheldon: Yes?
George Sr.: Have a seat. We want to talk to you.
Sheldon: All right.
George Sr.: So, today we found out about a school in Dallas for really smart kids.
Sheldon: When can I start?
Mary: Hold on. Dallas is far away, so you'd have to live with another family.
Sheldon: Do they have a dog?
Mary: Uh, we don't know.
Sheldon: Well, can you make some calls?
Mary: I guess, but wouldn't you miss your mom and dad?
Sheldon: Oh. Yes, I suppose I will. So, when are you calling about the dog?

Meemaw: This necklace has been in our family for generations. It belonged to a Comanche warrior who gave it to your great-great-great-great grandma.
Sheldon: Why'd he give it to her?
Meemaw: Well, according to family lore, she was, uh, a very accommodating young lady and, uh, they hit it off.
Sheldon: That's a bird feather.
Meemaw: Eagle feather.
Sheldon: Doesn't matter. I don't like birds, birds are filthy.
Meemaw: Okay. Fine. One featherless family heirloom for you to take with you and keep you safe while you're away.
Sheldon: You don't actually believe this has magic powers, do you?
Meemaw: Oh, for God's sake, just say "thank you."
Sheldon: Thank you. There's a price tag on it.
Meemaw: No, there's not.

Flora: Sheldon, I've been looking over your transcripts and I must say, I am very impressed.
Sheldon: Thank you. What's your doctorate in?
Flora: Noncommutative Algebraic Topology.
Sheldon: I like her.

Missy: It's gonna be weird around here without Sheldon.
George Jr.: Don't you mean less weird?
Meemaw: That's not nice.
George Jr.: I wasn't trying for nice.

Flora: I must tell you, in all the years I've been here, I have never seen such glowing letters of recommendation from a student's teachers.
George Sr.: Well, that's real nice to hear.
Flora: Now, listen to this: "Putting aside his superior intellect, Sheldon is a delight to have in the class. He's fun-loving, easy to get along with, and always ready to help another student."
Sheldon: That doesn't sound like me at all.
Mary: Sure it does, sweetie.

Ms. Ingram: And so the square of sine plus cosine equals one. Sheldon.
Sheldon: I don't want to embarrass you, so I'm going to give you a moment to think about what you just said.

Sheldon: What's wrong with them?
Mary: What are you talking about?
Sheldon: They're so quiet. Are they on medication?
Mary: No, they're just smart like you.
Sheldon: I've been going to school in a zoo.

Mary: Flora, I have to ask about the living arrangements. That's our main concern.
Flora: Well, I think I can reassure you about that. My husband and I have been hosting a student for the last several years who recently graduated and is now at Princeton. So we have a guest room available in our home.
George Sr.: That's very generous of you. Does your husband work at the school also?
Flora: No, he's retired. He was an astrophysicist for NASA.
Sheldon: Please tell me you don't have a dog.
Flora: No, we're both allergic.
Sheldon: I'm tingling.

Mary: Hi.
Meemaw: Mary, he's gonna come home every Friday night.
Mary: I didn't think I'd have to deal with this till he went to college.
Meemaw: You should thank your lucky stars he's not in college now.

Coach Wilkins: 20 laps. Cooper?
Sheldon: If you're going to ask us to run, don't you think you should lead by example?

Sheldon: Ms. Ingram, can I offer a suggestion?
Ms. Ingram: What?
Sheldon: Never mind. You do it your way.
Ms. Ingram: No, no. You tell me. Tell me how I'm wrong.
Sheldon: You assumed an extra axiom of Euclidean geometry without stating it.

Meemaw: Well, I don't understand how you could turn this down. This place looks fantastic.
Mary: It's 200 miles away, Mom.
Meemaw: I know where Dallas is. I used to buy my marijuana there.
George Sr.: Really?
Meemaw: I said "used to". Then I got pregnant with this one and all the fun stopped.

Meemaw: Maybe y'all are being a little selfish about this.
Mary: Selfish? We're thinking of him.
Meemaw: Well, that's all well and good, but maybe you should be thinking about the whole world.
I mean, what if Einstein's parents had held him back? We wouldn't even have the- Well, I was gonna say atomic bomb, but there's probably a better example.

George Sr.: I'll see you in a bit.
Mary: Where are you off to?
George Sr.: I'm going to Dallas to get Sheldon.
Mary: Really?
George Sr.: Yeah, really.
Meemaw: What about this being a great opportunity for him?
Sheldon: Y'all want me to go or not?
Mary: Yes! Go!
Meemaw: Yes, and hurry up! Get a move on, Tubby.

Missy: Sheldon, can you hear me? It's your twin sister, Missy. Everything's all right here, but I think Mom misses you real bad. All right, I can't hear you, so I'm gonna hang up now.

Mary: We already looked into private school. We can't afford it.
George Sr.: Not unless you're giving me a raise.
Principal Petersen: I'm not.
George Sr.: Okay, just checking.

Mary: Look, we appreciate you going to bat for him, but he's just a wee little thing. We can't ship him off to Dallas.
George Sr.: Shouldn't we talk about this first?
Mary: What's there to talk about, George?
George Sr.: This could be a great opportunity for Sheldon.
Mary: He's nine years old.
George Sr.: Oh, come on, you can't measure him in Earth years.
Mary: You're saying he's an alien?

Mary: All right, let's say grace.
George Jr.: [SNIFFLES] Guess I get to hold hands with you now.
George Sr.: Guess so. Maybe Sheldon's mittens weren't such a bad idea.

Missy: You awake?
Sheldon: Yes.
Missy: Are you gonna miss me?
Sheldon: I haven't given it any thought.
Missy: Well, we're just lying here. Think about it.
Sheldon: I am used to you.
Missy: I'm used to you, too.
Sheldon: It's not the same as liking you.
Missy: No.
Sheldon: To me, you're like string beans. No one asks for them, no one wonders about them. They're just there on the plate.
Missy: But you eat them, right?
Sheldon: Yes.
Missy: You're gonna miss me.

Tam: So you leave tomorrow?
Sheldon: Yes.
Tam: Dallas.
Sheldon: Yes.
Tam: Cool.
Adult Sheldon: It was touching to watch Tam bravely fight back tears.
Tam: Have you ever thought about making the trains go clockwise?
Sheldon: No.
Tam:
Adult Sheldon: You should. Brave, brave Tam.

Mary: I'm still not sure that this is the right thing to do.
Meemaw: Are you worried that he won't like it or are you worried that he will?
Mary: You're not helping.
Meemaw: That's not my job. I think of myself as a speaker of truth.
Mary: If you're not gonna make me feel better, go away.
Meemaw: I'm sorry, you are stuck with me.

Sheldon: Ms. MacElroy.
Ms. MacElroy: What?
Sheldon: I'm wondering if you read the book you assigned to us, because I did.

Missy: You got my message! Hi-yah! [jumping across to Sheldon's bed]
Sheldon: No hugging! No hugging! [Missy laughing]

Flora: Do you like string beans?
Sheldon: No. But I eat them.

Mary: "Nice people."
George Sr.: Then why did we leave him there?!
Mary: Because we love him and we want the best for him.
Missy: This is tense.

Adult Sheldon: But, eventually, I did drift off, haunted by the memory, the three of us gathered around the piano singing hippie folk music.

George Sr.: Oh, come on. You're making it out like they were some kind of monsters. Sheldon has his own room. There's books everywhere. Even has a big old backyard he won't play in.
Mary: Aren't you forgetting somethin'?
George Sr.: What?
Mary: The underground laboratory.
George Sr.: I think it's called a finished basement, honey.
Mary: I know what I saw.

Sheldon: Dad?
George Sr.: Yeah?
Sheldon: I'm glad you came to get me.
George Sr.: Me, too.

George Sr.: Not sure about these uniforms. Kinda froufrou.

Ms. Ingram: I mean, why'd I bother becoming a teacher? He knows what I'm gonna say before I say it. Or I say it and look like a dumbbell.

Meemaw: All I am saying is that this would be a great opportunity for Sheldon.
Mary: I know, you're right.
George Sr.: Whoa, she's right? I said the same thing in Petersen's office, you looked at me like I was an idiot. Yeah, that's the look.

Mary: So you're saying he's being rude to his teachers?
George Sr.: That's unacceptable. I'll-I'll give him a talkin' to.
Principal Petersen: I don't know if I'd call him rude.
Mary: Well, put a word on it.
Principal Petersen: Rude, let's go with rude. Rude is good.

Principal Petersen: What's going on here?
Ms. MacElroy: You said he was going away.
Ms. Ingram: Liar.