Sheldon: Mom, I know what I want to do for spring break. What happened to your face?
Mr. Lundy: Told you, people take notice.
Mary: This is for my new job.
Sheldon: Is your new job fighting Batman? Because you look like The Joker.

Ms. Hutchins: I don't know.
Mary: Trust me, the men are gonna be lining up.
Ms. Hutchins: Well, they haven't been so far, and I've been basically giving it away.
Mary: That's your business really.

Mary: I'm not buying it. I'm thinking about selling it.
George: You?
Mary: Yes, me. Wouldn't hurt to have extra money.
Sheldon: But you already have two jobs... church and mom.
Mary: Well, that second one doesn't pay much.
Sheldon: I do your taxes. The first one doesn't either.

George: Sales is a tough racket, Mare.
Georgie: Yeah. It ain't as easy as I make it look.
Mary: Well, I think I'd be good at it.
Georgie: You sure? Sometimes you got to do a little fibbin'.
Mary: I would do it without that.
Georgie: And you got to have people skills.
Mary: I have people skills.
Georgie: Do you?
Mary: I'd like to throw my dinner roll at your head right now, but you don't see me doing it.

Nathan: Hey, you made it. [Star Trek salute]
Sheldon: It would have been illogical not to.
Nathan: [deep voice] Well, you're going to have a blast.
Sheldon: I know this is un-Spock-like, but I can't stop smiling.
Mr. Givens: [climbs aboard] [British accent] There you are, dear sir. Let's get this pusillanimous bucket of nuts and bolts on the road. [applause and cheering] We have a comic-con to get to!
Sheldon: Mr. Givens?
Mr. Givens: Oh, the pain.

Sheldon: Okay, I enjoy Mr. Data, but he's clearly just a Spock rip-off. [all murmuring]
Nathan: Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Data wants to be more human, Spock wants to be less human. How is that the same?
All: Yeah!
Sheldon: Well, I think we can all agree that William Shatner is the better actor. [others murmuring in agreement]
Nathan: Patrick Stewart is classically trained. He's a member of the Royal Shakespeare Company.
Sheldon: He's too subtle. When William Shatner plays an emotion, my shoe can tell what it is. [murmuring, laughter]
Mr. Givens: Well, if you like big acting, [with accent]: have I got a show for you, dear boy. [silence]
Nathan: And Kirk is a terrible captain. He always puts the ship in danger. Picard would never do that.
Sheldon: Oh, I'm sorry, I guess Picard never got assimilated by the Borg.
All: Oh, yeah.
Adult Sheldon: Our verbal fisticuffs may have seemed unfriendly, but the truth is, we were engaged in a glorious tribal dance, like the revelers at Daytona Beach.
Nathan: I will admit, Wesley Crusher is the worst.
Sheldon: Now you're knocking Wil Wheaton. He's the best part of the show.
Nathan: He's an annoying know-it-all.
Sheldon: [scoffs] Yeah, that's what makes him lovable.

Adult Sheldon: It was the best spring break I ever had. Until my parents realized I was missing and I experienced something worse than the wrath of Khan, the wrath of Dad.

Sheldon: So, spring break is just around the corner.
Dr. Linkletter: I'm counting the days.
Sheldon: Me, too. Have you reserved the lab yet?
Dr. Linkletter: Why would I do that?
Sheldon: Without the distraction of classes, you and I can really buckle down and get some work done.
Dr. Linkletter: I won't be here, Sheldon. It's my break, too.
Sheldon: Where are you going?
Dr. Linkletter: I'm not telling you where I'm going, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Why not?
Dr. Linkletter: Because I'll be happy, and I want to stay that way. You're in college. You should be taking spring break as well.
Sheldon: And do what?
Dr. Linkletter: Traditionally, you would congregate with your peers and make bad decisions.
Sheldon: But I'm a kid.
Dr. Linkletter: Then perhaps a game of Duck, Duck, Goose.
Sheldon: Sarcasm?
Dr. Linkletter: No.
Sheldon: Geez, you really do need a break.

Adult Sheldon: My sister suggested I "go wild," so I decided to heed her advice and do the craziest thing I could think of... Take a walk outside.

Mary: But, hey, I am not just selling makeup. I am selling confidence.
Ms. Hutchins: You are?
Mary: I sure am. Now, are you a strong and confident woman?
Ms. Hutchins: Not remotely.
Mary: Well, do you want to be?
Ms. Hutchins: I guess.

Mr. Givens: Well, if Star Trek is so great, how come Lost in Space kicked its butt in the ratings? [all oohing]
Nathan: Well, if Lost in Space is so great, how come no one's ever remade it?
Sheldon: That's true, they're still making Star Trek movies and a new series.
Nathan: Yeah, which is even better than the original. [all oohing]
Sheldon: I'm sorry, what did you say?
Nathan: You heard me, Star Trek: Next Gen is better than Original Series.
Mr. Givens: Lost in Space brought me hours of happiness as a child, you... jerks.

Adult Sheldon: There were certain status symbols in Texas that indicated you were a success. A rodeo champion belt buckle... Or as I call it, the Redneck Nobel Prize. Custom-built ostrich skin boots. One less giant running bird in the world is fine by this cowpoke. And possibly the ultimate status symbol... The pink Cadillac, driven by an elite Mary Kay super seller.

Mary: I can't help but notice what you're driving.
Mr. Lundy: [chuckles] This old thing? I was actually gonna trade it in.
Mary: Are you selling Mary Kay?
Mr. Lundy: With my theater background, I just had a knack for cosmetology.
Mary: You must sell a lot.
Mr. Lundy: Guilty. But, these days, I-I manage my own handpicked team.
Mary: Well, I'm happy for you.
Mr. Lundy: Aw, aren't you a dear? [chuckling] [chuckling] H... Um, hey, do you... ever do sales?
Mary: Me? No.
Mr. Lundy: Really? An attractive young woman like yourself?
Mary: Oh, I don't know about that.
Mr. Lundy: Well, here. Here is my card, in case you ever want to talk. Maybe one day you'll be driving one of these. Instead of one of those.

Mary: Thank you so much for finding the time.
Mr. Lundy: Oh, please. Always happy to welcome a new sales associate to the family. [laughs]
Mary: Well, um, I don't normally wear much makeup, so I'm a little out of my depth.
Mr. Lundy: Which brings us to lesson number one. In sales, confidence is key.
Mary: Oh.
Mr. Lundy: Are you confident?
Mary: No.
Mr. Lundy: I knew the answer to that, but that's gonna be our little secret, because just like this full-coverage concealer for all skin types, we're gonna cover that right on up. [laughs]
Mary: I'm all for that.

Mr. Lundy: Now before we go further, I am gonna have to ask for a check for your sample kit and your start-up accessories.
Mary: Oh. I was under the impression that I would take orders, and the customers would pay for it later, like, um, Girl Scout cookies.
Mr. Lundy: I'm sorry. Do you see Thin Mints in this case?
Mary: No.
Mr. Lundy: This is a serious business. If you are not serious, maybe you are not ready to join my team.
Mary: Oh, I... I am serious. It's just that my husband isn't totally on board, and he'll be upset if I spend a bunch of money.
Mr. Lundy: Oh, well, that's fair. If you have to ask his permission, I can come back. It's refreshing really. It reminds me of a simpler time when men made the decisions and women made the beds.
Mary: I'm gonna get my checkbook. [exits]
Mr. Lundy: Now there is a take-charge makeup salesperson. [chuckles] I am the organ grinder, and the world is my monkey.