‘A Tummy Ache and a Whale of a Metaphor’ Quotes Page 1 of 4
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212. A Tummy Ache and a Whale of a Metaphor
January 10, 2019Sheldon turns into the world's worst patient when he has to spend a few days in the hospital. Meanwhile, George feels guilty for doubting Sheldon was ill.
Quote from Sheldon
Ms. MacElroy: Now, can anyone tell me why Melville shifts the narrative voice from Ishmael to Ahab? [Ms. MacElroy waits for somebody else to raise their hand] Sheldon.
Sheldon: I have a tummyache. I'd like to see the nurse.
Derek: A "tummyache"?
Sheldon: Yes, Derek, I have a tummy and it aches. Ergo, tummyache.
Derek: Ergo?
Sheldon: It's Latin, Derek.
Ms. MacElroy: Go to the nurse.
Sheldon: And to answer your question, the shifting point of view grants the reader a broader perspective of events than typically allowed by first-person narration.
Ms. MacElroy: Where were we?
Sheldon: And "ergo" is Latin for "hence," Derek.
Quote from George Jr.
Georgie: How come when I'm sick it's no big deal, but when Sheldon gets sick you act like it's the end of the world?
Mary: Because he's a fragile little boy and you're gettin' to be a big, strong man.
Georgie: That's true. Puberty has done right by me.
Quote from Sheldon
Sheldon: Unbelievable. It's either cartoons or men in their underwear banging their heads together.
Ricky: You complain a lot.
Sheldon: Excuse me?
Ricky: Seriously, dude, you need to relax.
Sheldon: How can I relax? I'm being held captive in a bacterial playground.
Quote from Sheldon
Dr. Gilbert: So, those pain meds should already be kicking in. Then my buddy Gary here is gonna administer the gas, which'll help you sleep. And once you're under, we'll make a little incision and snatch that guy right outta there. Any questions?
Sheldon: Yes. What kind of doctor says, "Snatch that guy right out of there?"
Dr. Gilbert: Just trying to put you at ease.
Sheldon: It didn't work. Where did you go to medical school?
Dr. Gilbert: University of Nebraska.
Sheldon: Uh-oh. Did you at least graduate with honors?
Dr. Gilbert: Top of my class.
Sheldon: Have you had any alcohol in the last 24 hours?
Dr. Gilbert: Not a drop.
Sheldon: How much sleep did you get last-
Dr. Gilbert: Gary, can we-
Gary: Got it. Just relax and start counting backwards from 100.
Sheldon: Wait, Gary, where did you study anesthesiolo-
Quote from Sheldon
Sheldon: One second. Excuse me, Nurse Robinson?
Nurse Robinson: Yes?
Sheldon: Will you give this Iron Man comic to Ricky?
Nurse Robinson: I'll see that he gets it.
Sheldon: Thank you.
Nurse Robinson: Mm-hmm.
Sheldon: And thank you for taking care of me.
Nurse Robinson: You're welcome. You stay healthy.
Sheldon: I will.
Nurse Robinson: When did he become nice?
Quote from Sheldon
Nora: So, we've got a tummyache?
Sheldon: Yes. I'm afraid it might be cholera.
Nora: Again?
Sheldon: I have one of the symptoms.
Nora: Okay, on a scale of one to ten, what's your pain level?
Sheldon: Three point four seven.
Nora: That's pretty serious. But since you're at a 3.47, I'm gonna give you the strongest medication I'm allowed to give you.
Sheldon: You're an angel of mercy, Nurse Nora. Ooh, cherry.
Quote from Sheldon
Adult Sheldon: No surprise, despite my adamant protest, I didn't go home.
Instead, I had to stay and suffer in silence like the Southern gentleman my mother raised me to be.
Sheldon: What's this? I asked for red.
Nurse Pryor: All they had was green.
Sheldon: Well, then you and I have a problem, don't we?
Quote from Nurse Robinson
Sheldon: What's going on?
Nurse Robinson: This is Ricky, your new roommate.
Mary: Nice to meet you.
Nurse Robinson: [to Ricky] I am so sorry.
Quote from Nurse Robinson
Nurse Robinson: It's just for one night. They said you going home tomorrow.
Sheldon: They also said I'd have my own room. He better not be contagious.
Nurse Robinson: He's not.
Sheldon: Are you sure? Should we ask his doctor?
Nurse Robinson: You just asked me and I said no.
Sheldon: But you're not a doctor. Your career stalled at nurse.
Nurse Robinson: Okay, listen. I done put up with your nonsense long enough, and it ends now.
That boy is your roommate, that's the situation and you gonna make the best of it. You get my drift?
Quote from Sheldon
Ricky: Why are you here?
Sheldon: I had to have my gallbladder removed. Why are you here?
Ricky: I'm having surgery tomorrow.
Sheldon: How come?
Ricky: I was born with a hole in my heart.
Sheldon: My mom says everyone is born with a Jesus-shaped hole in their heart, but I'm guessing this is different.
Quote from Sheldon
Ricky: Yeah, they're gonna put a patch on it.
Sheldon: And then it just stays there forever?
Ricky: Yeah, like a Band-Aid you never have to pull off.
Sheldon: That's great, because that's the worst thing about Band-Aids. [Ricky chuckles] They may have removed my gallbladder, but not my wicked sense of humor.
Quote from Meemaw
Meemaw: Whatcha working on?
Missy: A welcome home sign for Sheldon.
Meemaw: Oh, that's a nice thing.
Missy: Yeah, but this "W" took me half an hour.
Meemaw: Hmm. You want some help?
Missy: Yeah.
Meemaw: Georgie, get your ass in here!
Quote from Sheldon
Sheldon: How did you find out you have a hole in your heart?
Ricky: I fainted playing soccer.
Sheldon: Hmm, I guess I'm fortunate.
Ricky: Why?
Sheldon: I don't and never will play soccer.
Quote from Sheldon
Ricky: I actually don't mind it here.
Sheldon: What about the food?
Ricky: It's not as good as my grandma's tamales, but nothing is.
Sheldon: How long has she been taking care of you?
Ricky: My whole life. She'd be here, but she's watching my brother.
Sheldon: My meemaw takes care of us sometimes, too.
Ricky: I'm excited for my heart to be fixed, 'cause then, she won't have to worry about me anymore. But hey, once they put the patch on my heart, I'll sort of be like Iron Man.
Sheldon: Technically, Iron Man has a magnet, not a patch.
Ricky: And technically, I said "sort of."
Sheldon: Touche.
Quote from Sheldon
Nurse Robinson: Here you go. One O.J.
Sheldon: I see pulp.
Nurse Robinson: No, you don't. I strained it with a paper towel.
Sheldon: Now all I can taste is towel. And pulp.