Adult Sheldon Quotes

Quote from the episode Pilot

Adult Sheldon: That was the first time I held my father's hand. I wouldn't touch my brother's hand until seventeen years later, thanks to the invention of Purell.

Quote from the episode Pilot

Adult Sheldon: Jane Goodall had to go to Africa to study apes. I just had to go to dinner.

Quote from the episode A Sneeze, Detention, and Sissy Spacek

Adult Sheldon: As you can see, my meemaw successfully lured me back into the world by reminding me of my brave Texas ancestors. Their blood ran through my veins. I was a true son of the Lone Star State. Albeit a true son with an incredibly fragile immune system. I woke up the next morning with a temperature of 102 and a head packed full of mucus.

Quote from the episode Cape Canaveral, Schrodinger's Cat, and Cyndi Lauper's Hair

Adult Sheldon: I never did get to see a launch in person, but that was the best trip I ever had. I wish I had told my father while he was alive.

Quote from the episode Dolomite, Apple Slices, and a Mystery Woman

Adult Sheldon: Anger is an ugly emotion. Unbridled rage even more so. And when it bubbled up inside me, I channeled it the only way I knew how. I cleaned the house like a man possessed.

Quote from the episode Dolomite, Apple Slices, and a Mystery Woman

Adult Sheldon: As you can see, sometimes a person can be both incredibly intelligent and full of baloney.

Quote from the episode Cape Canaveral, Schrodinger's Cat, and Cyndi Lauper's Hair

Adult Sheldon: I didn't realize until years later that my father was only asking questions about lightning and thunder to cheer me up. In fact, he would often pretend to be dumb just to make me feel better.

Quote from the episode A Financial Secret and Fish Sauce

Adult Sheldon: Visiting Tam's house for the first time was an emotional roller coaster.
For example, it's traditional in Vietnamese homes to have gruesome religious iconography near the entrance. I did not like that.
However, it's also customary to not wear shoes around the house for sanitary reasons. I did like that.
Interestingly, one of the main ingredients in Vietnamese cooking is an extremely pungent condiment known as fish sauce. I did not like that.
But before every meal, it's common for everyone to wash their hands and face. I did like that.
Forks are not customary in a Vietnamese household. I did not like that.
And instead of napkins, there was one towel for everyone to share at the table. Seriously, what are they thinking?

Quote from the episode Vanilla Ice Cream, Gentlemen Callers, and a Dinette Set

Adult Sheldon: In that moment, I had an epiphany. I could draw up a contract for any social relationship. It was a helpful way to remove ambiguity in a world that was often hard to understand. Article three Sheldon will not spy on Meemaw's house with binoculars.

Quote from the episode Potato Salad, a Broomstick, and Dad's Whiskey

Adult Sheldon: In 1989 the Milton Bradley Company had dozens of board games on the market, but only one where you were the doctor. Operation came complete with a red light-up nose, 13 plastic body parts for players to remove and, most importantly, one pair of genuine tweezers. My sister performed a medical procedure using a children's board game, while I bravely sat very still. I guess you could say there were two heroes that day.

Quote from the episode Dolomite, Apple Slices, and a Mystery Woman

Adult Sheldon: What was happening was, like many men before me, I was being seduced by the exotic world of geology.

Quote from the episode Dolomite, Apple Slices, and a Mystery Woman

Adult Sheldon: We searched for tektites in a nearby ravine. Tektites are natural glass formed during meteorite impacts. They also bear a close resemblance to raccoon feces, so I wisely adopted a "no touching tektites" policy.

Quote from the episode Dolomite, Apple Slices, and a Mystery Woman

Adult Sheldon: And, like Mother Nature's piñata, geodes contained a secret surprise inside. But you didn't have to suffer through a birthday party to enjoy it.

Quote from the episode Dolomite, Apple Slices, and a Mystery Woman

Adult Sheldon: I've often been accused of being stubborn and willful, but sometimes it works like gangbusters.

Quote from the episode Poker, Faith, and Eggs

Adult Sheldon: I've often been asked why I never learned to drive a car. This night is your answer.

Quote from the episode A Therapist, a Comic Book, and a Breakfast Sausage

Adult Sheldon: Just like that, I overcame my fear of choking. All that was left was my fear of dogs, birds, insects, germs, hugging, button fly pants, rivers, ponds, lakes, oceans, estuaries, corduroy, root vegetables, squeaky balloons, tinted windows, take a penny, leave a penny, fireworks, potbelly stoves, dust bunnies, that fuzz on peaches.

Quote from the episode Pilot

Adult Sheldon: I've always loved trains. In fact, if my career in theoretical physics hadn't worked out, my backup plan was to become a professional ticket taker. Or hobo.

Quote from the episode Spock, Kirk, and Testicular Hernia

Adult Sheldon: Despite my explanation that I was embracing my inner Kirk, my mother had me make amends for all my misdeeds. Starting in the library, where I had to reshelve hundreds of books. Well, to be honest, that one was a hoot.

Quote from the episode Spock, Kirk, and Testicular Hernia

Adult Sheldon: The amends got worse when Coach Wilkins made me climb the rope. Lacking any upper body strength, I hung there like a salami in a deli window.

Quote from the episode A Math Emergency and Perky Palms

Adult Sheldon: Dr. Sturgis was a wise man. It was a learning opportunity. And when the day comes that I'm wrong, I fully plan to admit it.