‘The Yips and an Oddly Hypnotic Bohemian’ Quotes Page 1 of 3    

  • The Yips and an Oddly Hypnotic Bohemian

    509. The Yips and an Oddly Hypnotic Bohemian

    December 9, 2021

    After Missy gets the yips and loses her pitching game, Sheldon blames her for giving him the science yips when he fails to complete a test. Meanwhile, George plays handyman at Brenda Sparks' house.

Quote from Adult Sheldon

Adult Sheldon: Of all the tests one takes in school, my favorite was the midterm. Finals weren't bad, but they also meant summer was approaching. I don't believe in religion, but sunshine, picnics and pool parties are proof hell exists.

Quote from Billy Sparks

George: All right, almost there. Hand me a screwdriver.
Billy Sparks: Don't stick this in an outlet. It really tingles.
Brenda Sparks: We had an incident.

Quote from George Sr.

George: Look. I know you don't respect what I do as a coach.
Sheldon: Maybe you do know me.
George: But this is a thing I actually know about. I've seen it happen to my players. I've seen it happen to pros in golf. In baseball. The answer is always the same. Stop thinking and get out of your own way.
Sheldon: I don't know how to do that.
George: Have you ever heard the Nike slogan "Just do it"?
Sheldon: I'm familiar with the phrase "let's do it," uttered by Gary Gilmore, the last person to be executed by firing squad in America.
George: Okay, well, it's a shoe slogan. And it's good advice. The answer is already in your head. Don't think so hard. Just do it.
Sheldon: I'll try.
George: Good man.

Quote from Dale

Umpire: Strike!
Missy: Yes!
Dale: Aw, don't get all hysterical, little girl!
Missy: You suck!
Dale: You suck!
Missy: No! You suck!
Umpire: Strike!
Dale: I am the leader of the little people.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I can't remember what the zeroes of the Bessel function are.
Dr. Linkletter: You didn't memorize them?
Sheldon: Of course I did... October 7th, 1988. I had just had a bowl of Teddy Grahams.
Dr. Linkletter: Then what's the problem?
Sheldon: I'm blanking, but I'll get it.
Dr. Linkletter: Sorry, son, class is over.
Sheldon: No, I can do this.
Dr. Linkletter: It's just one question. You'll still pass.
Sheldon: Sheldon Cooper doesn't "just pass."
Dr. Linkletter: I have an idea. Let me see the test. [Sheldon hands him the test] Thank you.
Sheldon: Sheldon Cooper isn't always that gullible.
Dr. Linkletter: He was today.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Missy! You gave me your yips.
Missy: What?
Sheldon: I froze on a test. That's never happened before. It's all your fault.
Missy: I told you it's not contagious.
Sheldon: You put the thought in my head. The power of suggestion is very real. Case in point: tulip mania.
Missy: Here we go.
Sheldon: Tulip mania was an insane desire to buy and trade tulip bulbs in the 1600s. It nearly ruined the Dutch economy. You would not believe the gilders they were spending.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I thought you were good at this.
Missy: I was. Coach Dale says I have the yips.
Sheldon: [covers mouth] It's not contagious, is it?
Missy: No, it happens in sports. Suddenly you can't do a thing that used to be easy.
Sheldon: It doesn't sound real.
Missy: Then why can't I pitch anymore?
Sheldon: Ooh, perhaps it's the onset of puberty and the hysterical mood swings that go with it.
Missy: Dingus, house.
Sheldon: You're only proving my point.

Quote from George Sr.

George: What, Billy won an award?
Brenda Sparks: Participation. Big whoop.
George: I guess it's something.
Brenda Sparks: Well, he ain't the sharpest pencil in the box, but he's the sweetest kid I know.
George: Well, Sheldon is the sharpest pencil. Sometimes I'd just like to shove his head in that box.

Quote from Sheldon

Dr. Linkletter: All right. You have 45 minutes to complete the test, eyes on your own paper and... [Sheldon raises his hand] Yes, Sheldon, if you finish early, you can take it again. And... begin!
Adult Sheldon: And I was off. I flew through wave functions. I dominated harmonic oscillators. The only challenging part of this exam was trying to balance the desire to finish quickly with the urge to stop and smell my freshly sharpened pencil. [Sheldon sniffs his pencil] Mmm. I was in the zone. Only one question left. All I needed to do was solve Schrodinger's equation in a cylindrical well by employing the zeroes of the Bessel function, which of course were...
Sheldon: Wait, what are they?
Adult Sheldon: Come on, you know this. You've done it a million times.
Sheldon: Oh, dear.

Quote from Dr. Linkletter

Dr. Linkletter: All right, Sheldon, time to turn in your test.
Sheldon: I'm not done yet.
Dr. Linkletter: [sighs] I know you like to add your own "better questions" at the end, but for the last time, I don't count them.
Sheldon: I just need a few more minutes on this problem.
Dr. Linkletter: That's an easy one. Just apply the zeroes of the Bessel function.
Sheldon: I know what I have to do.
Dr. Linkletter: Is this is a tantrum? I've heard children your age like to throw them.

Quote from Sheldon

George: Hey. [Sheldon groans] What's your problem?
Sheldon: I don't want to talk about it.
George: Great.
Sheldon: I had a mental block on a test and it was something that I absolutely know how to do.
George: Oh, you know, that sort of thing happens in sports, too.
Sheldon: I know. It's called the yips, and it's a very silly name for a very serious problem.
George: Well, you know, the best thing to do is get out of your head.
Sheldon: How do I do that?
George: Just turn your brain off.
Sheldon: It's like I'm not even your son.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Another fun footwear slogan is "I'm Buster Brown. I live in a shoe. That's my dog Tige. Look for him there, too."
George: Mm, I think mine is more helpful.
Sheldon: Well, mine rhymes, so...

Quote from George Jr.

Adult Sheldon: I decided to heed my father's advice. I wasn't sure how to turn off my brain. Thankfully, I lived with an expert.
[Sheldon knocks on the garage door. Georgie opens it]
Georgie: What's up?
[inside:]
Georgie: I've never really thought about not thinking before.
Sheldon: Well, I'm asking you to think about it.
Georgie: But I thought you were interested in not thinking.
Sheldon: I am. I want you to think about not thinking, and then teach me how to do it.
Georgie: Do what?
Sheldon: Not think.
Georgie: All right. [silence] This is tough. I'm good at not thinking, but I don't think I can teach you how to not think without thinking.
Sheldon: Hmm, well, thank you for trying.

Quote from George Jr.

Georgie: Hold on! What if you're thinking about something else instead? Would that count as thinking or not thinking?
Sheldon: I suppose it's similar to the mantras extolled by the sages of the East. It's a practice that Swami Vivekananda called Japa Yoga and it's intended to bring out a single-pointedness of concentration.
Georgie: Sorry, I zoned out.
Sheldon: Ooh, tell me how.
Georgie: Let's see. You were blabbering. It all started to blur together. And I was gone.
Sheldon: At what point did it start to happen?
Georgie: I don't know. Say it again. I said I suppose it's similar to the mantras extolled by the sages of the East. It's a practice that Swami Vivekananda called Japa Yoga... [Sheldon's voice slows down] [Indian traditional music plays] [Georgie imagines Sheldon with a third eye in the middle of his forehead]
Georgie: That is wild.

Quote from Sheldon

Adult Sheldon: The next day, armed with the sage advice of my father, my brother, and an executed murderer, I was allowed to retake the test.
Dr. Linkletter: You have 45 minutes starting now.
Sheldon: [inner monologue] Okay, just do it. Just do it. Just turn your brain off and do it. Is it off? Am I doing it? Wait, if I'm thinking it's off, then it must still be on. I'm trying too hard. Don't overthink, just do it. Just do it, just...
Dr. Linkletter: Time's up.
Sheldon: But I didn't do it.
Dr. Linkletter: Waste my morning? You did it.

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