Adult Sheldon: My father didn't always get the credit he deserved. The advice he gave me actually worked out pretty well. Of course, I never told him.
George Sr.: Talked to Billy.
Missy: Why would you do that?
George Sr.: No, it was good.
Missy: Stay out of my life.
Adult Sheldon: He may not have been the world's greatest dad. But maybe we weren't the world's greatest kids.

Adult Sheldon: Eventually, Dr. Linkletter admitted we could use the help of Dr. Sturgis, and Team Science was back in action, scoring goals against Team Ignorance. Look at me, talking like a jock.
Dr. John Sturgis: Oh, I see you came around to my idea for distinguishing massive particles from axion particles.
Dr. Linkletter: Well, it did provide an excellent jumping-off point for me to crack the actual problem.
Dr. John Sturgis: Seems the actual problem is your inability to recognize a brilliant idea when it's handed to you.
Dr. Linkletter: Is that so, you pedantic little gremlin?
Dr. John Sturgis: How dare you! Well, it's all just simple...
Adult Sheldon: My father was right. They were bringing the best out of each other, like steel sharpening steel.

George Jr.: I'm not here to work. I'm here with the answers to all your problems.
Meemaw: And what is that?
George Jr.: How to get your back room up and running again.
Meemaw: I'm listening.
George Jr.: I was thinking about Chuck E. Cheese.
Meemaw: Oh, God.
George Jr.: Hear me out. Your payouts were in cash. That's illegal. When you play games at Chuck E. Cheese, you win tickets. Those tickets are traded for prizes. That's legal. You just need to do the same thing. People play your machines. Now the credits they win get exchanged for stuffed animals. Then you buy those stuffed animals back for cash. No laws broken, and you're back in business.

Sheldon: Dr. Linkletter and I are stuck on a science problem. I know Dr. Sturgis could help, but I'm hesitant to suggest that because I know they have a professional rivalry.
George Sr.: Well, the way I see it, y'all are on Team Science, right?
Sheldon: I suppose.
George Sr.: And people on the same team don't have to get along to work together.
Sheldon: Like you and Mom.
George Sr.: No. A quarterback and his receivers. He doesn't throw it to the guy he likes best. He throws it to the one that's open.
Billy Sparks: So smart.
Sheldon: So, I should ask Dr. Sturgis what he thinks about the dark matter being a Bose condensate?
George Sr.: Do you want Team Science to win?
Sheldon: Thank you. This has been helpful. [exits]
Billy Sparks: What's a Bose condensate?
George Sr.: I'll tell you at halftime.

George Jr.: Hey, you took a shot. That's impressive.
Meemaw: I guess.
George Jr.: I mean, most folks your age have someone cutting up their food.
Meemaw: That's enough.
George Jr.: Well, I still think you're a badass.
Meemaw: [chuckles] Thank you. We should probably get back out there.
George Jr.: Oh. [chuckles] I ain't working for you. But I'm rooting for you.

Dale: What about Georgie's idea?
Meemaw: That dumb Chuck E. Cheese thing? Dale, come on.
Dale: Well, actually, I think it's kind of brilliant.
Meemaw: You think that grown-ups are gonna gamble for some stuffed animals?
Dale: Yeah, that you're buying back from them.
Meemaw: Well, a teddy bear's only worth a couple of bucks.
Dale: It's worth whatever you say it's worth. They win a hundred bucks, then it's worth a hundred bucks.

Billy Sparks: Well, I'm never asking anybody out again.
George Sr.: You will. At least the worst part's over.
Billy Sparks: Doesn't feel like it.
George Sr.: Hey. You got rejected, but was it the end of the world?
Billy Sparks: No.
George Sr.: And that is extremely valuable information. A lot of guys don't learn that and stop taking chances. And honestly, you dodged a bullet with Missy. The girl is mean.
Billy Sparks: Thanks.

George Sr.: Tough week, huh?
Billy Sparks: Yeah.
George Sr.: Yeah, I been there.
Billy Sparks: You have?
George Sr.: Oh, yeah. Darcy Lockhart, eighth grade. Shut me down on the school bus.
Billy Sparks: That sounds awful.
George Sr.: Couldn't even leave. Just had to sit there. I asked nine stops too early.
Billy Sparks: What did you do?
George Sr.: I felt bad for a while, but then I asked out Maggie Gormly.
Billy Sparks: She said yes?
George Sr.: Absolutely not. And would you believe I did it on the bus a second time? What a dope.

Dr. Linkletter: Although I suppose, based on your premise, we could calculate the stress-energy tensor for each.
Adult Sheldon: It turned out their antagonism was the key to their success.
Dr. John Sturgis: ...find an experiment to distinguish them.
Dr. Linkletter: While derivative, I'll admit your point does have some merit.
Dr. John Sturgis: Of course it has merit, you... you...
Sheldon: [whispers] Big, pink Sasquatch?
Dr. John Sturgis: [whispers] Good. [normal voice] You big, pink Sasquatch!

Meemaw: That's the stupidest thing I ever heard.
George Jr.: Why?
Meemaw: Because I don't run a carnival. Grown-up people don't-don't gamble to win a teddy bear.
George Jr.: You're not getting it.
Meemaw: I'm getting that it's dumb.
George Jr.: I'm trying to help you.
Meemaw: If you really wanted to help me, you would stick your head in there and start scraping.

Coach Wilkins: You've been doing such a good job at home, I thought you should be recognized.
George Sr.: [chuckles] Oh. Thanks.
Coach Wilkins: Mm. How'd everything go last night?
George Sr.: Not bad. Not bad.
Coach Wilkins: Glad to hear it. You lying sack.
George Sr.: What?
Coach Wilkins: I know Billy asked Missy out and it all went south. Darlene told me everything.
George Sr.: Oh, man, how did she find out?
Coach Wilkins: You know how gossip flies in the teachers' lounge.
George Sr.: Fine. Everything you said is true. Shouldn't have gotten involved.
Coach Wilkins: Well, I'm-a let you keep the mug as a goal to work towards.
George Sr.: Mm, gee, thanks.
Coach Wilkins: How'd the thing with Sheldon go? [George exhales] All right, give me the mug back.
George Sr.: Gladly.

Sheldon: You see it, right?
Dr. Linkletter: That Dr. Sturgis was correct and I need to eat crow and go back to him?
Sheldon: Yes.
Dr. Linkletter: Let's just give it another moment. [water gurgles]

Adult Sheldon: In astronomy, a syzygy is a rare event when three or more celestial bodies line up.
You may also know it as the stars aligning, which was probably coined by someone who couldn't spell "syzygy." If you want to win Scrabble, remember this bad boy. My father's idea of the stars aligning was having the house completely to himself. I was at school, Missy was at a friend's, Georgie was working, and my mother was on her way to a church retreat.
[elsewhere:]
Mary: [sings] There was a God who had a son, and Jesus was his name-o ?
Pastor Jeff: [sings] J-E-S-U-S
Mary: [sings] J-E-S-U-S
Pastor Jeff: J-E-S-U-S
Mary: And Jesus was his name-o. [honks horn]
Adult Sheldon: For my father, it was sweet, Southern syzygy. S-Y-Z-Y-G-Y. Syzygy. [doorbell rings]
George Sr.: [sighs] Balls.

George Sr.: I'm not even gonna tell you how I helped Sheldon.
Coach Wilkins: It may be better you don't.
George Sr.: Fine. I used a sports metaphor about science, and it worked.
Coach Wilkins: I'm sure it did.
George Sr.: It did.
Coach Wilkins: I'm sure.
George Sr.: You should be.
Coach Wilkins: I am.
George Sr.: Good.
Coach Wilkins: It is good.
George Sr.: Are you just gonna keep having the last word?
Coach Wilkins: No.
George Sr.: Thank you. [sighs] [Coach Wilkins is silent] Just say it.
Coach Wilkins: You're welcome.

George Sr.: Trips left, man in motion. Here comes a pass. [crowd cheers on TV] See that?
Billy Sparks: Now I know where Sheldon gets his brains from.
George Sr.: Congratulations. You're the only person to ever say that.
Billy Sparks: What's gonna happen next?
George Sr.: You gonna get me a beer.
Billy Sparks: Yes, sir.

George Sr.: [opens door] Hey, Billy. Sheldon's not here.
Billy Sparks: Is Missy?
George Sr.: Nope.
Billy Sparks: Good. I need to talk to you alone. [enters]
George Sr.: [sighs] Balls.

Billy Sparks: I would like your permission to ask out Missy.
George Sr.: Really?
Billy Sparks: Yeah.
George Sr.: Okay. Uh... [TV turns off] Well, I appreciate you coming to me.
Billy Sparks: I wanted to do this the right way.
George Sr.: Uh-huh. You know, Billy, this sounds like a big step. I'm not sure Missy's really ready for dating yet.
Billy Sparks: She went out with Marcus from school. They went to the movies.
George Sr.: Yeah, that is... meaningful.
Billy Sparks: But they broke up, so now's my chance.

George Sr.: You don't want to be the rebound guy.
Billy Sparks: What's that?
George Sr.: That's the guy after the guy she really liked and before the next guy she really likes.
Billy Sparks: What?
George Sr.: You and Missy are friends. You go to school together. That could make things complicated if it doesn't go well.
Billy Sparks: I didn't think about that.
George Sr.: If she turns you down, you're gonna have to see her all the time.
Billy Sparks: But if it goes right, I get to see her all the time.
George Sr.: [sighs] I just think you ought to take a minute and figure out if it's really worth it. I-It's like football. You can go for it on fourth down on your own 20-yard line, but if you don't make it, it's game over.
Billy Sparks: You're not just a football coach. You're a coach of life.

Adult Sheldon: You probably think of quantum physics as a white-knuckle rush of adrenaline, like the Peter Pan ride at Disneyland. But the reality can be a little less exciting, especially when you're stuck. [clock ticking] [lights humming] [water bubbles]
Dr. Linkletter: We'll get this.
Sheldon: Perhaps a set of fresh eyes could be helpful.
Dr. Linkletter: If you're going to suggest Dr. Sturgis, I should remind you we have a complicated history.
[flashback:]
Dr. John Sturgis: And your graviton research is mediocre at best!
Dr. Linkletter: You're not qualified to judge my work.
Dr. John Sturgis: All right, that's it. [they shove each other]
[present:]
Sheldon: We'll get this.

Dale: Hey. You ready for dinner?
Meemaw: Do I look ready?
Dale: No. How was your day, dear?
Meemaw: Well, I ran out of quarters. Then I had to break up a fight over a dryer sheet. Then washer number three overflowed again.
Dale: Oh. Well, I had a nice day. I got to pet a horse. Come on, let me take you to dinner.
Meemaw: Dinner's not gonna fix this mess.
Dale: Yeah, I was counting on margaritas to do the heavy lifting.

Meemaw: This is not what I signed up for. I need to get some help in here.
Dale: Well, so, do it.
Meemaw: Great. I'm taking Georgie.
Dale: Georgie? No, he's my best employee.
Meemaw: He's my grandson.
Dale: Well, so what? Sheldon's the smart one. Take him.
Meemaw: Do you want to go out with somebody who's happy and fun or some cranky, old woman who smells like mop?
Dale: All right. All right. Take Georgie.
Meemaw: Thank you. I'm gonna go get myself fixed up.
Dale: I think you look beautiful just the way you are.
Meemaw: Go to hell.

Coach Wilkins: Hey, uh, how's bachelor life treating you?
George Sr.: Good. Mary makes this parenting thing seem hard. I'm great at it.
Coach Wilkins: So, you finally gave it a shot. Good for you.
George Sr.: Make your jokes, but I'm even helping out kids that aren't mine.
Coach Wilkins: Really?
George Sr.: Billy Sparks got a little crush on Missy.
Coach Wilkins: Uh-oh. Danger zone.
George Sr.: What? [chuckles] Why?
Coach Wilkins: Getting in the middle of your teenage daughter's love life? What could possibly go wrong?
George Sr.: I can't win with you.

Sheldon: [o.s.] I'm home.
George Sr.: In here. Watching the game with Billy.
Sheldon: Do you have the number where Mom's staying?
George Sr.: Everything okay?
Sheldon: I need help navigating a situation with Dr. Linkletter.
Billy Sparks: You should ask your dad. He's really smart.
Sheldon: You're the first person who's ever said that.

Meemaw: You fancy yourself a bit of an entrepreneur, don't you?
George Jr.: I like to think so.
Meemaw: And now that you're not in school anymore, I bet you're wanting to take your career to the next level.
George Jr.: [scoffs] What kind of entrepreneur would I be if I didn't?
Meemaw: Well, this is your lucky day, because I have quite the opportunity. How would you like to manage a business all on your own?
George Jr.: That'd be amazing.
Meemaw: Be your own boss. Call the shots.
George Jr.: Hell, yeah. What is it?
Meemaw: Managing a laundromat.
George Jr.: No way.

Meemaw: Oh, now, come on. You're perfect for this.
George Jr.: I'm a salesman. There's nothing there to sell.
Meemaw: You got a bunch of bored people with their pockets full of quarters, you can't sell them something? Then you're not the entrepreneur I thought you were.
George Jr.: That ain't gonna work on me.
Meemaw: And this is why you're management material.
George Jr.: Nice try. [walks away]
Meemaw: The place is wall-to-wall girls.
George Jr.: Why didn't you lead with that?

Meemaw: Listen, I need you to help me with this. I don't want to run this dump.
George Jr.: Then why'd you buy it?
Meemaw: [exhales] I'm retired. I thought it might be fun, get me out of the house.
George Jr.: And you picked a laundromat?
Meemaw: It seemed like a better opportunity at the moment.
George Jr.: What happened? You get tricked by a con man?
Meemaw: No.
George Jr.: It's all right. Happens to a lot of people your age.

Meemaw: [scraping] 67 years old, scraping Tootsie Roll out of a clothes dryer.
George Jr.: Hey.
Meemaw: What do you want?
George Jr.: I want to help you out.
Meemaw: Oh, I knew you'd come back. Listen, I got most of it, but there's this one chunk in there that won't let go.

Missy: What did you say to Billy?
George Sr.: Uh... What did Billy say to you?
Missy: He asked me out. And he said he talked to you about it?
George Sr.: Well, yes, but...
Missy: Why wouldn't you warn me? He asked me out in front of my friends.
George Sr.: I didn't tell him to do it. I-I told him to think about it.
Missy: Well, he thought about it, and then he did it, so thanks a lot. [walks away]
George Sr.: [sighs] Wayne was right.
Missy: [turns back] You told Coach Wilkins?
George Sr.: A little.
Missy: His wife is my teacher. Do you have any idea how bad this is?
George Sr.: I'm putting it together. [Missy huffs angrily] I didn't tell him to do it!

Brenda Sparks: Hey.
George Sr.: Thanks for letting me come by.
Brenda Sparks: Sure.
George Sr.: How's he doing?
Brenda Sparks: I don't know. He never tells me anything.
George Sr.: Well, Missy talks. It is not an improvement.

George Sr.: So, how'd it go?
Sheldon: I had Dr. Sturgis present his ideas to Dr. Linkletter like you said.
George Sr.: And?
[flashback:]
Dr. Linkletter: John, I must say, that might be the stupidest idea I've ever heard.
Dr. John Sturgis: [chuckles] Big talk coming from the man who thought the whole thing could be explained with classical field theory.
[present:]
George Sr.: Oh, no. Then what happened?
Sheldon: Well...
[flashback:]
Dr. Linkletter: Why on earth would you bring this crackpot into my lab?
[present:]
George Sr.: You didn't mention me, did you?
[flashback:]
Sheldon: Because we're all on Team Science, and don't we want Team Science to win?
[present:]
George Sr.: Okay, good.
Sheldon: But then...
[flashback:]
Dr. John Sturgis: "Team Science"?
Dr. Linkletter: And where did you get that bit of clichéd nonsense?
Sheldon: My dad.
[present:]
George Sr.: [exhales]

Adult Sheldon: My brother went to the laundromat, excited to meet the female customer base my meemaw had promised.
[fantasy: a bunch of scantily-clad young woman dance and soap themselves up at the laundromat]
[reality: an older woman shakes out her underwear:]
George Jr.: You said "girls."
Meemaw: They were girls once.
George Jr.: Not in this century.

George Jr.: A secret casino room?
Meemaw: Yeah. The cops shut me down.
George Jr.: That is so cool.
Meemaw: Very cool. I got a room full of slot machines I can't turn on and a room full of washing machines I don't want.

Meemaw: I guess I'll just sell the place. If I take a bath, so be it.
Dale: Oh, I don't know. I got a realtor friend, might be able to help.
Meemaw: You mean like your cop friend who shut me down?
Dale: Yeah, that wasn't great.

George Sr.: How you doing?
Missy: Fine.
George Sr.: Things okay at school?
Missy: Why? So you can go tell your friends?
George Sr.: [sighs] I just want to know how you're doing.
Missy: Let's see. Billy feels bad. I feel bad for turning him down. Everything's awkward and terrible now. Does that answer your question?