‘Stuffed Animals and a Sweet Southern Syzygy’ Quotes Page 1 of 3
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505. Stuffed Animals and a Sweet Southern Syzygy
November 4, 2021As Sheldon and Dr. Linkletter struggle to solve an equation, Sheldon wants to bring in Dr. Sturgis. Meanwhile, George gives Billy Sparks advice about dating, and Georgie has an idea on how to rescue Meemaw's secret gaming room.
Quote from Adult Sheldon
Adult Sheldon: My father didn't always get the credit he deserved. The advice he gave me actually worked out pretty well. Of course, I never told him.
George: Talked to Billy.
Missy: Why would you do that?
George: No, it was good.
Missy: Stay out of my life.
Adult Sheldon: He may not have been the world's greatest dad. But maybe we weren't the world's greatest kids.
Quote from Sheldon
Adult Sheldon: You probably think of quantum physics as a white-knuckle rush of adrenaline, like the Peter Pan ride at Disneyland. But the reality can be a little less exciting, especially when you're stuck. [clock ticking] [lights humming] [water bubbles]
Dr. Linkletter: We'll get this.
Sheldon: Perhaps a set of fresh eyes could be helpful.
Dr. Linkletter: If you're going to suggest Dr. Sturgis, I should remind you we have a complicated history.
[flashback:]
Dr. John Sturgis: And your graviton research is mediocre at best!
Dr. Linkletter: You're not qualified to judge my work.
Dr. John Sturgis: All right, that's it. [they shove each other]
[present:]
Sheldon: We'll get this.
Quote from George Sr.
Sheldon: Dr. Linkletter and I are stuck on a science problem. I know Dr. Sturgis could help, but I'm hesitant to suggest that because I know they have a professional rivalry.
George: Well, the way I see it, y'all are on Team Science, right?
Sheldon: I suppose.
George: And people on the same team don't have to get along to work together.
Sheldon: Like you and Mom.
George: No. A quarterback and his receivers. He doesn't throw it to the guy he likes best. He throws it to the one that's open.
Billy Sparks: So smart.
Sheldon: So, I should ask Dr. Sturgis what he thinks about the dark matter being a Bose condensate?
George: Do you want Team Science to win?
Sheldon: Thank you. This has been helpful. [exits]
Billy Sparks: What's a Bose condensate?
George: I'll tell you at halftime.
Quote from George Jr.
Georgie: I'm not here to work. I'm here with the answers to all your problems.
Meemaw: And what is that?
Georgie: How to get your back room up and running again.
Meemaw: I'm listening.
Georgie: I was thinking about Chuck E. Cheese.
Meemaw: Oh, God.
Georgie: Hear me out. Your payouts were in cash. That's illegal. When you play games at Chuck E. Cheese, you win tickets. Those tickets are traded for prizes. That's legal. You just need to do the same thing. People play your machines. Now the credits they win get exchanged for stuffed animals. Then you buy those stuffed animals back for cash. No laws broken, and you're back in business.
Quote from Adult Sheldon
Adult Sheldon: Eventually, Dr. Linkletter admitted we could use the help of Dr. Sturgis, and Team Science was back in action, scoring goals against Team Ignorance. Look at me, talking like a jock.
Dr. John Sturgis: Oh, I see you came around to my idea for distinguishing massive particles from axion particles.
Dr. Linkletter: Well, it did provide an excellent jumping-off point for me to crack the actual problem.
Dr. John Sturgis: Seems the actual problem is your inability to recognize a brilliant idea when it's handed to you.
Dr. Linkletter: Is that so, you pedantic little gremlin?
Dr. John Sturgis: How dare you! Well, it's all just simple...
Adult Sheldon: My father was right. They were bringing the best out of each other, like steel sharpening steel.
Quote from Dr. John Sturgis
Dr. Linkletter: Although I suppose, based on your premise, we could calculate the stress-energy tensor for each.
Adult Sheldon: It turned out their antagonism was the key to their success.
Dr. John Sturgis: ...find an experiment to distinguish them.
Dr. Linkletter: While derivative, I'll admit your point does have some merit.
Dr. John Sturgis: Of course it has merit, you... you...
Sheldon: [whispers] Big, pink Sasquatch?
Dr. John Sturgis: [whispers] Good. [normal voice] You big, pink Sasquatch!
Quote from Adult Sheldon
Adult Sheldon: In astronomy, a syzygy is a rare event when three or more celestial bodies line up.
You may also know it as the stars aligning, which was probably coined by someone who couldn't spell "syzygy." If you want to win Scrabble, remember this bad boy. My father's idea of the stars aligning was having the house completely to himself. I was at school, Missy was at a friend's, Georgie was working, and my mother was on her way to a church retreat.
[elsewhere:]
Mary: [sings] There was a God who had a son, and Jesus was his name-o ?
Pastor Jeff: [sings] J-E-S-U-S
Mary: [sings] J-E-S-U-S
Pastor Jeff: J-E-S-U-S
Mary: And Jesus was his name-o. [honks horn]
Adult Sheldon: For my father, it was sweet, Southern syzygy. S-Y-Z-Y-G-Y. Syzygy. [doorbell rings]
George: [sighs] Balls.
Quote from George Sr.
George: [opens door] Hey, Billy. Sheldon's not here.
Billy Sparks: Is Missy?
George: Nope.
Billy Sparks: Good. I need to talk to you alone. [enters]
George: [sighs] Balls.
Quote from George Sr.
George: You don't want to be the rebound guy.
Billy Sparks: What's that?
George: That's the guy after the guy she really liked and before the next guy she really likes.
Billy Sparks: What?
George: You and Missy are friends. You go to school together. That could make things complicated if it doesn't go well.
Billy Sparks: I didn't think about that.
George: If she turns you down, you're gonna have to see her all the time.
Billy Sparks: But if it goes right, I get to see her all the time.
George: [sighs] I just think you ought to take a minute and figure out if it's really worth it. I-It's like football. You can go for it on fourth down on your own 20-yard line, but if you don't make it, it's game over.
Billy Sparks: You're not just a football coach. You're a coach of life.
Quote from Dale
Dale: Hey. You ready for dinner?
Meemaw: Do I look ready?
Dale: No. How was your day, dear?
Meemaw: Well, I ran out of quarters. Then I had to break up a fight over a dryer sheet. Then washer number three overflowed again.
Dale: Oh. Well, I had a nice day. I got to pet a horse. Come on, let me take you to dinner.
Meemaw: Dinner's not gonna fix this mess.
Dale: Yeah, I was counting on margaritas to do the heavy lifting.
Quote from Meemaw
Meemaw: This is not what I signed up for. I need to get some help in here.
Dale: Well, so, do it.
Meemaw: Great. I'm taking Georgie.
Dale: Georgie? No, he's my best employee.
Meemaw: He's my grandson.
Dale: Well, so what? Sheldon's the smart one. Take him.
Meemaw: Do you want to go out with somebody who's happy and fun or some cranky, old woman who smells like mop?
Dale: All right. All right. Take Georgie.
Meemaw: Thank you. I'm gonna go get myself fixed up.
Dale: I think you look beautiful just the way you are.
Meemaw: Go to hell.
Quote from George Sr.
George: Trips left, man in motion. Here comes a pass. [crowd cheers on TV] See that?
Billy Sparks: Now I know where Sheldon gets his brains from.
George: Congratulations. You're the only person to ever say that.
Billy Sparks: What's gonna happen next?
George: You gonna get me a beer.
Billy Sparks: Yes, sir.
Quote from Sheldon
Sheldon: [o.s.] I'm home.
George: In here. Watching the game with Billy.
Sheldon: Do you have the number where Mom's staying?
George: Everything okay?
Sheldon: I need help navigating a situation with Dr. Linkletter.
Billy Sparks: You should ask your dad. He's really smart.
Sheldon: You're the first person who's ever said that.
Quote from Meemaw
Meemaw: You fancy yourself a bit of an entrepreneur, don't you?
Georgie: I like to think so.
Meemaw: And now that you're not in school anymore, I bet you're wanting to take your career to the next level.
Georgie: [scoffs] What kind of entrepreneur would I be if I didn't?
Meemaw: Well, this is your lucky day, because I have quite the opportunity. How would you like to manage a business all on your own?
Georgie: That'd be amazing.
Meemaw: Be your own boss. Call the shots.
Georgie: Hell, yeah. What is it?
Meemaw: Managing a laundromat.
Georgie: No way.
Quote from George Jr.
Meemaw: Oh, now, come on. You're perfect for this.
Georgie: I'm a salesman. There's nothing there to sell.
Meemaw: You got a bunch of bored people with their pockets full of quarters, you can't sell them something? Then you're not the entrepreneur I thought you were.
Georgie: That ain't gonna work on me.
Meemaw: And this is why you're management material.
Georgie: Nice try. [walks away]
Meemaw: The place is wall-to-wall girls.
Georgie: Why didn't you lead with that?