Sheldon: Where are we going?
Missy: Right there.
Sheldon: An old shack in the middle of the woods? Have you even seen Scooby Doo?
Missy: Great, go home.
Sheldon: At night, by myself? Nice try.

Mary: You are right. You have been here longer than me. I don't see why we can't work together.
Peg: That'd be nice.
Mary: Great. So, why don't you go by the bank, and I will drop off the bulletin?
Peg: So no one's gonna answer the phones?
Mary: Fine. You just sit there, and I'll go and do everything.
Peg: Sweet. Oh, today's a stumper. Is "nipto" a word?
Mary: You know what? This is why I was taking charge of everything. Because if I don't, nothing will get done.
Peg: Oh, it's "pinto". [laughs]
Mary: This is exactly what I'm talking about.
Peg: Guess what, Mary. Things were getting done long before you got here.
Mary: I just want everything taken care of for Pastor Jeff.
Peg: Or you just like thinking you're better than everybody.

Pastor Jeff: Isn't he the cutest?
Mary: He sure is.
Peg: Oh.
Pastor Jeff: Yeah, he's an angel. He's just happy all the time... morning, afternoon, middle of the night, 2:00a.m., 3:00a.m., all the a.m.'s, really.
Peg: Dip the pacifier in some whiskey, put him right out. But don't use the good stuff. They can't tell the difference.

Adult Sheldon: Classical physics can predict a lot about the world. For example, it can tell us what happens when one pool ball knocks into another. But when multiple balls careen in different directions, we've entered the wild and woolly world of nonlinear dynamics. And you don't need me to tell you that it's impossible to predict what will happen next. Actually, based on the state of our educational system, you probably do. Now imagine those are people. Even a brilliant young ball who graduated high school at 11 can be caught in the maelstrom. Aah! Our first collision was set in motion when Pastor Jeff and Robin had their baby.

Sheldon: I have a problem.
George: What now?
Sheldon: Missy put a "Do not enter" sign on our bedroom door, and I'm all for obeying posted signage, but it is my room, and I feel that gives me right of entry. Thoughts?
George: You don't want to go in there.
Sheldon: But I do. Is Missy even authorized to put up a sign? And if so, does that mean I can put up a sign?
George: I don't know.
Sheldon: Because if I put up a "Do enter" sign, which sign would have precedence? Do we have a lawyer? I should talk to a lawyer.
George: She's having boy problems. Just give her space.
Sheldon: Emotionally or legally?
George: Emotionally.
Sheldon: Excellent. Ignoring emotions is where I shine.
George: Clearly.

Missy: Did you not see the sign?
Sheldon: I did. It's not legally binding. I asked Dad. What are you doing?
Missy: Getting rid of my stupid toys.
Sheldon: Hmm. Even your Cabbage Patch doll?
Missy: I don't need a doll.
Sheldon: Good. She was starting to smell like actual cabbage.

Sheldon: Why are you taking that down?
Missy: It's time to grow up.
Sheldon: Leave it there.
Missy: You don't even like Cyndi Lauper.
Sheldon: No, but it's part of my daily routine. Every morning I wake up, look over there and wonder, "Why is she standing like this?"
Missy: Too bad. It's my room.
Sheldon: It's my room, too.
Missy: Yeah, and I don't get a say in any of your stupid posters.
Sheldon: These are the smartest men who ever lived, so if anyone's stupid, it's you for saying that.
Missy: Shut up!
Sheldon: You're very irritable. This might be why you're having boy problems.

Meemaw: I'm sorry she ruined your picture, but, you know, she's having a bad day.
Sheldon: Oh, please, she can find another boyfriend.
Meemaw: I know you're mad at her.
Sheldon: I hate her.
Meemaw: Hey, don't say that about family.
Sheldon: You say mean stuff about my dad.
Meemaw: That's different. He deserves it.

Meemaw: Listen here. She's your sister. She's always gonna be your sister, so you have to find a way to forgive her.
Sheldon: But she did this just to hurt me.
Meemaw: I know. But she's hurting, too.
Sheldon: What does that have to do with me?
Meemaw: You're the big brother.
Sheldon: I'm only two minutes older.
Meemaw: Which makes you the big brother, which means that it is your job to look out for her.
Sheldon: That doesn't make sense. Why should random birth order determine moral responsibility?
Meemaw: I don't make the rules, Moon Pie.
Sheldon: Doesn't seem like you make cookies either. What's taking so long?

Sheldon: Missy? What are you doing?
Missy: Hiding from you, idiot.
Sheldon: I found you. You're not very good at this.

Sheldon: But I'm coming with you.
Missy: You're one of the people I'm running away from.
Sheldon: I'm sorry, but I can't let you wander at night by yourself. I'm your big brother.
Missy: We're twins.
Sheldon: I was born two minutes earlier, which apparently makes me responsible for you.
Missy: That's dumb.
Sheldon: I'm not happy about it either, but here we are.

Mary: You really want to start this up again?
George: Wait, are you asking me what I want? Well, that's a first.
Mary: Oh, please, your whole life is doing whatever you want.
George: Oh, really?
Georgie: I can just leave.
George: Did I want to get stuck coaching high school football? Did I want to live across the street from your mother? Did I want to spend my evening getting yelled at by my daughter and my son and my wife?
Mary: I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were so unhappy.
George: Because you never bother to ask.

Sheldon: Do you come here a lot?
Missy: Sometimes, when I want to be alone.
Sheldon: Alone from me.
Missy: Not just you. Everyone.
Sheldon: Is this about that boy?
Missy: I don't want to talk about it.
Sheldon: Is he why you were getting rid of your toys and your posters? Because I don't think you should change for some boy.
Missy: You're just saying that 'cause you hate change. You don't care about my feelings.
Sheldon: How can you say that? I'm literally risking my life to be here. Look around. It is tetanus as far as the eye can see.

Mary: Come in.
Georgie: I figured you didn't eat. I made you some soup.
Mary: Oh, thank you. But you didn't have to do that. Everything's fine.
Georgie: I ain't a kid. You don't gotta lie to me.
Mary: [sighs] Okay. Honestly, I'm upset with your father. And I'm upset with myself.
Georgie: Why?
Mary: 'Cause... he's right. Maybe I do think I know best, and I can be critical. But thank you for making me soup.
Georgie: You're welcome.
Mary: Did you put water in this?
Georgie: Was I supposed to?
Mary: It's fine.

Missy: And then today I found out he was actually holding hands with Nicole at the roller rink.
Sheldon: Who's Nicole?
Missy: A seventh-grader.
Sheldon: So you want to appear more mature to make him like you again.
Missy: I guess.
Sheldon: Hmm. Well, I'd suggest a bow tie, but that's kind of my thing.