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42Quotes from ‘A Rival Prodigy and Sir Isaac Neutron’

A Rival Prodigy and Sir Isaac Neutron

202. A Rival Prodigy and Sir Isaac Neutron

Aired September 27, 2018

When Dr. Sturgis invites a brilliant ten-year-old girl, Paige, to audit his course, Sheldon is racked with feelings of jealousy. Meemaw decides to talk to John about Sheldon's situation, while Mary is excited to meet another family dealing with the pressures of raising a special child.

Quote from Dr. John Sturgis

Dr. John Sturgis: Hello, Mary. This is John Sturgis, Sheldon's professor and your mother's lover.
Mary: Hi. And "John" was more than enough.

Quote from Dr. John Sturgis

Dr. John Sturgis: Did you know that there's a type of vanilla flavoring derived from the anal glands of the North American beaver?
Meemaw: That seems like a fact you could have shared before we started eating.
Dr. John Sturgis: It isn't used very often. I understand it's difficult to, uh, milk the little sacs.
Meemaw: Cool. Okay, new topic.

Quote from Dr. John Sturgis

Dr. John Sturgis: See, this is why we're great together. You teach me about social etiquette, and I teach you about beaver anuses.
Meemaw: [CHUCKLES] It is magical.
Dr. John Sturgis: Did you know "ani" is also acceptable as the plural of "anus"?
Meemaw: And the magic continues.

Quote from Adult Sheldon

Adult Sheldon: Not since sharing a uterus with my twin sister have I been so unhappy sitting next to someone.

Quote from Sheldon

Mary: Come on, Shelly. Maybe you'll end up being friends.
Sheldon: I don't like her, I'm not going to like her, and Tam is my friend. I don't need another one.
Mary: You can have more than one friend. I'm sure Tam has other friends.
Sheldon: No, I'm all he's got. And even I avoid him half the time.

Quote from Mary

Mary: He loves being organised.
George Sr.: Boy, does he. We can't go to the grocery store without him making sure that all the labels are facing the right way.
Mary: Oh, the stock boys there are always so happy to see him.
Linda: [LAUGHING] That's adorable.
George Sr.: Well, it wasn't adorable when we redid our shower and he wouldn't use it 'cause two of the tiles were crooked.
Mary: He took baths in the sink until we got it fixed.

Quote from Missy

Erica: I love that song.
Missy: I have a cassette of it, but I recorded it off the radio. You can hear Sheldon in the background saying stuff about Sir Isaac Neutron.

Quote from Dr. John Sturgis

Sheldon: How come you never mentioned she was coming to this class?
Dr. John Sturgis: I thought it would be a fun surprise.
Sheldon: I don't like surprises.
Dr. John Sturgis: Neither do I.
Sheldon: Then why did you do it?
Dr. John Sturgis: Some people like surprises.
Paige: I love surprises.
Dr. John Sturgis: Did you enjoy this one?
Paige: Yes.
Dr. John Sturgis: A 50% success rate. Not bad.

Quote from George Jr.

George Jr.: What are you doing?
Sheldon: Suppressing my emotions.
George Jr.: Oh, yeah? Suppress this. [BELCHES] [BLOWS] [WHISPERS] Hot dogs.

Quote from George Jr.

Missy: Why do grownups do this? They love to stick random kids together and expect them to just be friends.
Erica: I know. I hate that.
George Jr.: Fresh Prince is right. Parents just don't understand.

Quote from Meemaw

Meemaw: Okay. I'll see you later.
Sheldon: Are you sure you don't want to stay with me?
Meemaw: I don't think so. I don't really understand this stuff.
Sheldon: That's how I felt when we watched Dirty Dancing, and I stayed.
Meemaw: When Patrick Swayze takes his shirt off in here, I'll be back.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: You seem awfully young, Paige. Are you with an adult who's taking this class?
Paige: No. Dr. Sturgis heard about my research on quantum chromodynamics at high temperatures and invited me to audit his course.
Sheldon: Is that so?
Paige: Yes. He's been super nice.
Sheldon: Interesting. Well, just so we're clear, he's my mentor, he's my meemaw's boyfriend, and he had spaghetti and hot dogs at my house.

Quote from Sheldon

Meemaw: Awful quiet back there.
Sheldon: I'm having an emotion I'm unfamiliar with.
Meemaw: Hmm. Think it might have something to do with your new classmate?
Sheldon: It's possible. She's the only variable in the social equation.
Meemaw: So what are you feeling?
Sheldon: My face is hot, I've a knot in my stomach, and I'm resisting the urge to kick your seat right now.
Meemaw: I'm thinking it might be jealousy.
Sheldon: No, that's not in my nature.
Meemaw: All right, let's go through all the emotions. I'm looking at your face, so I'm gonna rule out happy. Are you sad?
Sheldon: No, there's too much anger in there.
Meemaw: Oh, well, maybe you're angry.
Sheldon: No, there's too much sad in there.

Quote from Sheldon

Meemaw: Maybe you got a little crush on her.
Sheldon: Do you want me to kick your seat?
Meemaw: I don't know, Moonpie. I'm still thinking it might be jealousy.
Sheldon: Give me one reason why I would be jealous.
Meemaw: Well, Dr. Sturgis means a lot to you, and now he's paying attention to somebody else. You're used to being the only smart kid around, and now there's another. Oh, and there's the possibility-
Sheldon: I said one reason, thank you.

Quote from Dr. John Sturgis

Dr. John Sturgis: I was calling because there's a new student in my class who's Sheldon's age.
Mary: No kidding.
Dr. John Sturgis: Her mother wondered if I could put you two in contact since you have so much in common.
Mary: Oh, of course.
Dr. John Sturgis: Excellent. I'll give you the number when you're ready.
Mary: Um, I am ready.
Dr. John Sturgis: 409-356-6049.
Mary: John?
Dr. John Sturgis: Yes?
Mary: That's my number.
Dr. John Sturgis: [LAUGHS] So it is!

Quote from George Sr.

Mary: This is so exciting. Don't you understand what this means?
George Sr.: Rather than me feel dumb, how about you just tell me?
Mary: These are parents we can actually relate to.
George Sr.: Yeah, sure.
Mary: All the times we wonder if we're doing right by Sheldon or how to handle him, we finally have someone to compare notes with.
George Sr.: There's notes? [CHUCKLES] I just been winging it.

Quote from Missy

Mary: Oh, thank you, Lord, for connecting us with the parents of another special child. [Mary sees Georgie and Missy sitting on the couch] You kids are special, too.
George Jr.: Do you feel special?
Missy: At least I'm the only daughter. You got nothing.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: And she's such a know-it-all.
Meemaw: Yeah, you mentioned that.
Sheldon: I'm surprised her arm wasn't sore from raising her hand so much.
Meemaw: Yep, sure.
Sheldon: And who goes to college with stickers on their notepad?
Meemaw: I don't know.
Sheldon: Unicorn stickers!

Quote from Sheldon

Mary: So Paige didn't make a good first impression, but that can change. What's that new Star Trek show?
Sheldon: Next Generation?
Mary: When that first came on, you said a new Star Trek without Dr. Spock could never be good, but I've seen you watching it.
Sheldon: Well, first of all, it's Mr. Spock. Dr. Spock writes books about babies.
Mary: My apologies.
Sheldon: And second of all, Paige isn't a TV show. She's a person, and we all know how I feel about people. [BLOWS RASPBERRY]

Quote from Adult Sheldon

Mary: Okay, look. You're right. I don't have many friends, so I was hoping to get to know Paige's mom. But if it makes you uncomfortable, then I will call her and cancel.
Sheldon: I'll think about it.
Mary: Thank you, baby.
Adult Sheldon: Guilt and jealousy in the same day. I slept hard that night.

Quote from Meemaw

Meemaw: Let's talk about Sheldon.
Dr. John Sturgis: Wonderful. What about him?
Meemaw: He's having kind of a hard time with the new girl in your class.
Dr. John Sturgis: Really? Why?
Meemaw: He's jealous of the attention you're paying her.
Dr. John Sturgis: Well, she's remarkable.
Meemaw: You see that? Less of that.
Dr. John Sturgis: But I think he's remarkable, too.
Meemaw: Perfect. More of that, less of the other one.
Dr. John Sturgis: Understood.

Quote from Adult Sheldon

Adult Sheldon: The thought of spending an afternoon with Paige seemed excruciating, but I wanted to make my mother happy. I was torn.
Dr. McCoy: The release of emotions, Mr. Spock, is what keeps us healthy Emotionally healthy, that is.
Adult Sheldon: Luckily, the wise words of Gene Roddenberry flatly delivered by Leonard Nimoy resolved my dilemma.
Mr. Spock: That may be, Doctor. However, I have noted that the healthy release of emotion is frequently very unhealthy.
Adult Sheldon: I realized if Mr. Spock could rise above his emotions while the fate of the Enterprise hung in the balance, certainly I could tolerate Paige for a few hours.

Quote from George Sr.

Mary: So, Barry, uh, Linda tells me you're a dentist?
Barry: Uh, yes. I have a practice up in Jasper. Uh, Paige actually does some of the bookkeeping for us.
Mary: That's so funny. Sheldon does our taxes.
Linda: Oh!
Barry: Yeah, we used to pay her in stickers, but, this year, she actually started asking for money.
George Sr.: Well, don't let Sheldon hear that. We pay him in binder clips.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Now, since we'll be spending a few hours together, I've created a list of activities to keep us occupied. We'll start with a tour of my room, then board games, and, if time permits, you can look at and not touch my trains.

Quote from Sheldon

Paige: Oh, My Little Pony. I love My Little Pony.
Sheldon: That's my sister's, and it's not part of the tour.
Paige: I share a room with my sister, too. It's super fun.
Sheldon: You're wrong.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Now, over here, we have my desk. This is my computer. That's my mouse. This is my printer. This is the paper that goes in the printer. This is a box of extra paper that also goes in the printer. And this is my signed picture of Professor Proton. Do you watch his show?
Paige: No. I don't really like it.
Sheldon: You don't?
Paige: I think he's boring. And he dumbs everything down.
Adult Sheldon: Come on, Kolinahr, don't fail me now.
Sheldon: [bitterly] And next on the tour, we have a lamp.

Quote from Missy

George Jr.: You have no idea how much it sucks to have a brother like him. Believe it or not, he's in my class.
Erica: My parents sent Paige to a private school.
Missy: Cool. We're too poor for that.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Or if you're interested, we could play a variant with a new piece I invented.
Paige: That sounds fun. What's the new piece?
Sheldon: A wizard. The wizard cannot be taken, and, at any point, he can teleport and switch places with any other piece.
Paige: Yes, but there's an obvious flaw.
Sheldon: What flaw?
Paige: Well, any time anyone is checkmated, they can simply have the wizard and their king switch places. So the game will never end.
Sheldon: I knew that. You passed my test.

Quote from Paige

Paige: You actually believe in the multiverse theory?
Sheldon: Very much so. It's the most elegant interpretation of quantum mechanics.
Paige: So you really think there are an infinite number of universes?
Sheldon: Stephen Hawking believes it, so, yes, I do.
Paige: Well, if there are an infinite number of universes, I think that theory's dumb in all of them. [CHUCKLES] This is fun.

Quote from Sheldon

Paige: This is fun. I don't get to have discussions like this with kids at my school. Do you?
Sheldon: No.
Paige: Do you ever wish you were just like everyone else?
Sheldon: Not at all.
Paige: [CHUCKLES] Me neither. I love being smarter than everyone.
Sheldon: Me, too.

Quote from Adult Sheldon

Adult Sheldon: I started to think that Paige and I might have more in common than I thought.
Maybe my mother was right. I really did just need to get to know her better.
Paige: Checkmate! You lose. [CHUCKLES] Guess that makes me the smartest.
Adult Sheldon: I don't know if ten-year-old Spock ever flipped a chess board, but ten-year-old Sheldon sure did.

Quote from Dr. John Sturgis

Dr. John Sturgis: Now, does anyone know what happens to quarks when we combine them to make mesons and baryons? Yes, Paige.
Paige: We can ignore the particle masses at the individual quark level.
Dr. John Sturgis: Correct. You are really- [remembering Meemaw's warning] That was correct, Paige. And, Sheldon, is that a new bow tie?
Sheldon: It is.
Dr. John Sturgis: Lookin' sharp!
Sheldon: Thanks.
Dr. John Sturgis: That was a close one.

Quote from Sheldon

Paige: The spaghetti goes on the hot dogs?
Sheldon: No. You realize this is a very advanced class. We'll be discussing deriving nuclear physics from the quark model.
Paige: Do you know if he'll be doing a full color octet calculation with matrix manipulations?
Sheldon: I do not.
Paige: Do you know how to differentiate under the integral sign?
Sheldon: No.
Paige: [CHUCKLES] Well, do you know anything?
Sheldon: I know you're in my spot.

Quote from Meemaw

Meemaw: And we're home.
Mary: Hey, Shelly. nGuess who's coming over tomorrow? Your new friend Paige.
Meemaw: Okay, I'm gonna go.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Also, you don't have any friends. Why are you so worried about me?
Mary: I have friends.
Sheldon: Then how come the only person who ever comes over is Meemaw?
Mary: Because ... Okay, this isn't about me.

Quote from Adult Sheldon

Adult Sheldon: : Vulcans use a technique called Kolinahr to suppress their emotions.
Mary: [OFF-SCREEN] Sheldon, they're here!
Adult Sheldon: Obviously, I wasn't a Vulcan. So I did the next best thing: took my feelings and shoved them down so far they may have been lost forever.

Quote from Adult Sheldon

Paige: Sheldon! [She hugs him]
[flashback:] Dr. McCoy: The release of emotions, Mr. Spock, is what keeps us healthy.
Adult Sheldon: Dr. McCoy was an idiot.

Quote from George Sr.

George Sr.: Can I interest anyone in something stronger than iced tea?
Barry: Oh, well, I'll take a beer if you have one.
Mary: Don't worry. He's personally keeping the Lone Star Brewing Company in business.
George Sr.: They did send me a belt buckle.

Quote from George Sr.

George Sr.: This is not making me feel better. Their kid is perfect.
Mary: And so is ours.
George Sr.: So we're lying to each other. Fine.
Mary: It's just nice to get to know another family who's in a similar situation as us.
George Sr.: And we're still lying.

Quote from Missy

George Jr.: What grade are you in?
Erica: Eighth. You?
George Jr.: Tenth.
Erica: Cool.
Missy: Nobody asked, but fourth.

Quote from Erica

Erica: Ugh, my sister's always talking about him. I don't know why. I think he's dead.

Quote from George Jr.

Erica: Does Sheldon make you feel stupid?
George Jr.: Nah, I'm smart in other ways.
Missy: Me, too.
George Jr.: Hey, I saw an old TV in the alley. Want to go throw rocks at it?

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