Sheldon: And how does the pope work?
Tam: Well, the pope lives in Italy. He has a special car, and a big pointy hat. It's a wonderful hat.
Sheldon: And is there anything else I should know about?
Tam: Every once in a while, you have to confess your sins to a priest.
Sheldon: Not me, I don't have any sins.
Tam: Then you have the sin of pride.
Sheldon: Your religion is making me feel bad.
Tam: That's how you know it's working.

Dr. John Sturgis: [answering the phone] Hello?
Sheldon: I'm having a scientific argument with someone and I need your help.
Dr. John Sturgis: I do love a good science fight. Has it devolved to name-calling yet?
Sheldon: Yes. I called him a Pongo pygmaeus.
Dr. John Sturgis: Oh! A Bornean orangutan. That is a creature who would be very bad at science. Well done.
Sheldon: I know.

Dr. Linkletter: My goodness, you're as funny as you are beautiful.
Meemaw: That's a nice thing to say to your friend's girlfriend.
Dr. John Sturgis: Actually, I don't think it is so nice. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were sweet-talking my date right in front of me.
Dr. Linkletter: You're a pretty smart man, John. Trust your gut.

Caltech Professor: You lost?
Sheldon: No. I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be.
["Walk of Life" by Dire Straits plays]

[Adult Sheldon walks through his childhood home:]
Adult Sheldon: Eventually, my mom sold the house. My dad's chair was gone. My spot was gone. [sits down on couch] Where we ate together. But I can still remember it exactly the way it was the day I left for Caltech.
Missy: Hey.
[Young Sheldon turns around to face Missy]
Missy: What are you doing?
Sheldon: Taking it all in one last time, so I remember it when I'm older.
Missy: You gonna remember me?
Sheldon: I have an eidetic memory. I have no choice.
Missy: Ha.

[future:]
Amy Farrah Fowler: Hey. Smartest man in the world. I brought you to the water. Take a freakin' sip.
Adult Sheldon: You're drawing a parallel.
Amy Farrah Fowler: Yes.
Adult Sheldon: I'm not wearing the jersey.
Amy Farrah Fowler: Okay. But it is cold there.
Adult Sheldon: Fine. I'll wear it.
Amy Farrah Fowler: And, by the way, your daughter wants to take acting classes.
Adult Sheldon: I told you we never should've let Penny babysit.

[future:]
Amy Farrah Fowler: Oh, my.
Adult Sheldon: What are you doing?
Amy Farrah Fowler: You never told me you were baptized.
Adult Sheldon: Yes. And I got a pretty nasty ear infection for my troubles.
Amy Farrah Fowler: And you went through with it just to please your mother.
Adult Sheldon: Well... she may not have understood me or the things I cared about... [sighs] but she did everything she could for me. My dad did, too. [Sheldon looks a photograph on his desk of his younger self and George]
Amy Farrah Fowler: Hmm. That must've been great, having parents who supported you despite all your differences.
Adult Sheldon: Oh. Yes. Looking back, that was... that was the ultimate gift.

Pastor Jeff: Okay, now our next baptism is for Sheldon Lee Cooper, our soon-to-be brother in Christ. And, personally, this is a big get for me.

Mary: Are you gonna go, too? I know you don't believe.
Sheldon: I don't. But I believe in you.
Mary: Thank you.

Pastor Jeff: Okay. This is where you can get changed into your bathing suits and robes. Uh, boys there, girls there.
Missy: Let's just get this over with.
Pastor Jeff: I want to say again how sorry I am for your loss. I know your dad is real proud of you right now.
Missy: Our dad's gone. [scoffs] Screw this.
Mary: Missy, you said you'd do it.
Missy: Yeah, well, I changed my mind. I'm going home.

Meemaw: Listen, I talked to your mom about this baptism thing.
Missy: You got us out of it?
Meemaw: No, you need to do it.
Sheldon: But it's against my well-established atheism.
Meemaw: It's not about you. Your mom needs this.
Missy: You can't make me.
Meemaw: You're right, I can't. But I'm watching my daughter fall apart right now. So... I'm- I'm just asking for twenty minutes of your time. Please.
Missy: Fine.
Sheldon: Okay.
Meemaw: Thank you. [exits]
Missy: It's weird when they cry.
Sheldon: I do not care for it.

Missy: It's so empty.
Sheldon: I know you're eager to turn it into a ballet studio or... a gossip parlor or whatever it is girls your age enjoy.
Missy: Everything is just so different lately.
Sheldon: Change is terrible. I've been saying it since I no longer fit in my high chair.
Missy: We spent a lot of time together in this room, huh?
Sheldon: We did.

Mary: I know that I'm not winning any popularity contests, but I'm gonna do whatever it takes to make sure that my kids are safe. In this life and the next.
Meemaw: Damn. I really thought I was gonna bring ya around.
Mary: I'm on my game today. Sheldon said so.

Mary: How'd you know I was here?
Meemaw: Sheldon.
Mary: Oh. Yeah. I'm worried about him.
Meemaw: He's worried about you. I'm worried about you.
Mary: Me? I'm doing fine. Jesus is helping me through.
Meemaw: I don't question that. But I do question why you're not spending more time with your son who's leaving in a few days, and your daughter who may be leaving as we speak.
Mary: She's doing okay.
Meemaw: She's not. You just don't know that 'cause you're spending all your time praying.
Mary: I'm praying for them.
Meemaw: Mary... they don't need your prayers. They need their mother.
Mary: And I need to know that their souls are saved.
Meemaw: Oh, I should've brought more beer.

Meemaw: Hey. Funny meeting you here. Brought George a Lone Star.
Mary: That's nice, but they don't drink in heaven.
Meemaw: Oh. Then let's not let that go to waste. [opens beer]