Mandy: I don't know if it's any help, but when I was her age and pulled this, it was just to go to a party. [George scoffs]
Mary: Oh, great. So she's at a party, who knows where.
George Sr.: You know what? I'm gonna go find her.
Mary: How?
George Sr.: I don't know. I'm just... I'm gonna drive around till I hear some carousing.

[After convincing Missy to go search for buried money in Meemaw's backyard, Sheldon grabs the TV remote and changes the channel]
Professor Proton: [on TV] Today, we're going to learn about Sir Isaac Newton.
Sheldon: Hello, old friend.

Pastor Jeff: Connie, I am so sorry.
Meemaw: Thank you.
Pastor Jeff: I want you to know, I'm not gonna do anything about what I saw today. You've been through enough.
Meemaw: It's been quite a day.
Pastor Jeff: Why don't I give you a hand here? Anything special you're looking for?
Meemaw: A box of Raisin Bran.

Missy: So, if we find any jewelry, is it, like, a finders keepers situation?
Meemaw: No.
Missy: [sighs] Here. [hands over necklace]

George Sr.: And Connie, obviously, you're welcome, too.
Meemaw: Obviously. But I'm sure that Dale was about to offer.
Dale: I was gonna. I'm just taking a break.

George Sr.: You know, you're welcome to stay with us, long as you need.
Mandy: Thank you.
George Sr.: And don't worry, I'm not sticking my granddaughter in the garage. You can have Sheldon's room. Just don't tell Sheldon. Or touch anything.

George Jr.: Hey, look at this. Me as a baby. It ain't even cracked.
Mandy: That's great, Georgie.

Missy: It's getting quieter.
George Sr.: [stammers] It's moving away.
Missy: You sure?
George Sr.: Yeah, look. Look. Rain's letting up. Yeah. We're okay. [Missy cries] Hey, hey, hey. It's over.
Missy: I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything. I've been awful. I don't even know why. I really do love you and Mom, and I don't actually hate Sheldon. I'll be better. I promise.
George Sr.: I know you will. I love you, too. [hugs Missy]
Missy: Where's the car?
[George points to the car, on its side in the middle of the road]
George Sr.: Glad we got out? [Missy nods]

Meemaw: Well, if you're gonna save our souls, we're gonna have to survive. How about you put in a word with your boss?
Pastor Jeff: Right. Everyone, hold hands. [thunder crashing] Dear Lord, please keep us safe. And not just those of us huddled here in this establishment, but all our loved ones, wherever they may be. Our family and friends. Please forgive us our mistakes and our sins, and let us come through this stronger and closer together in our faith. Amen.

Pastor Jeff: I can't believe you're running a gambling room.
Meemaw: Well, it's keeping us safe right now, so maybe the Lord works in mysterious ways.
Dale: Ooh, that's good.
Pastor Jeff: Or maybe He sent that storm so I could save all these souls.
Dale: Ooh, that's good, too. [thunder crashes]

Mandy: Okay, just so you know, we don't need your money. We're gonna pay for the wedding ourselves.
George Jr.: Uh, actually...
Mandy: I thought you said you were saving up.
George Jr.: I was. Now it's on your finger.
Mandy: How much did you pay for this?
George Jr.: All that matters is that you're happy.
Mandy: How much, Georgie?
Jim: Yeah, I'm a little curious. [Georgie whispers in Mandy's ear]
Mandy: [gasps] What?!
Jim: Now I'm real curious.
Audrey: They're not having a big wedding.

Jim: CeeCee okay?
George Jr.: Seems like she's liking it in here.
Jim: Well, takes after me. It's my favorite room in the house.

Sheldon: Now, do you think we're ever going to discover the equivalence of heterotic and supergravity string theories?
Dr. Van Doornewaard: You betcha. That would turn the theory of quantum gravity upside down.
Sheldon: Will anybody know?
Dr. Van Doornewaard: Was that a joke?
Sheldon: Yes. [both laugh]
Adam: Would you like to switch seats with me?
Sheldon: Oh, no, I wouldn't want to put you out. I'm spending the summer at the University of Heidelberg studying superstrings.
Dr. Van Doornewaard: Wonderful. I'm actually a visiting professor there.
Sheldon: Then I guess I'll be visiting a professor there.
Dr. Van Doornewaard: [laughs] Very good.
Sheldon: [to Adam] Get it? [laughs]

Missy: Dad, I'm scared.
George Sr.: It's okay, we're almost home. Keep an eye out for funnel clouds.
Missy: What happens if I see one?
George Sr.: Well, we get out of the car and we lay down low till it passes over us.
Missy: Get out of the car?
George Sr.: Car can get picked up. It's safer on the ground.
Missy: Okay. [looks out the window] Dad, we need to get out of the car.

Pastor Jeff: Is there someplace we can shelter?
Meemaw: [whispers] Should we move everybody somewhere else?
Dale: I thought you didn't want to put you-know-who somewhere else.
[The customers exclaim as a tree branch smashes through the window]
Dale: Okay, everybody, follow me. Come on.
Pastor Jeff: Are we all gonna fit in there?
Meemaw: Maybe God will provide a miracle.
[Dale, Meemaw, Pastor Jeff and a group of customers enter the bustling gambling room]
Pastor Jeff: What is all this?
Meemaw: A miracle.

George Jr.: I don't think we should drive in this.
Mandy: It's just a little rain.
Audrey: Amanda, you're acting like a child.
Mandy: See you at the wedding.
[After Mandy walks out of the house, Georgie stands still. Mandy returns a moment later soaking wet]
Mandy: Could someone please get me a towel?

Jim: Come on. You don't have to go.
Mandy: Oh, yes, we do. 'Cause we have a big embarrassing wedding to plan.
Audrey: [scoffs] So now you're doing this just to spite me?
George Jr.: No, that's not what we're doing. That's not what we're doing, right?
Mandy: We're gonna have a big wedding, and we're gonna show everybody in this town that we love each other and we don't care who knows it.
George Jr.: So that is what we're doing.

Mary: I know that you're excited, but when that seatbelt sign does go off, you need to be respectful. That man may not want to meet you... [bell chimes] [Sheldon undoes his seatbelt and jumps out of his seat] [Mary sighs]
Sue: Gin and tonic.
Mary: Oh, I don't really... Thank you.

Mary: Don't bother them, they're busy.
Sheldon: They're flight attendants, I'm on a flight and I need attending. [Mary scoffs]
Sue: Can I help you?
Sheldon: Yes, when is the seatbelt sign going to turn off?
Sue: As soon as the captain thinks it's safe to move about the cabin.
Sheldon: But you're moving about the cabin.
Sue: Because you pushed the button.
Mary: We're sorry to bother you.
Sue: Is there anything else?
Sheldon: Yes, would you please tell the man in 44E that I'm a huge fan of his mirror symmetry theory? And he also may want to consider applying it to enumerative geometry.
Mary: There's nothing else.

Mandy: So you're embarrassed for your friends to see we're getting married and we already have a baby.
Audrey: Of course not. They know you have a baby. They just may be under the impression that you're already married. [Mandy scoffs]
George Jr.: Let's get back to something we can all agree on. That ring. That's a darn fine ring.
Jim: Darn fine. Isn't it? [Mandy and Audrey are silent] Okay.