Latest Quotes

Quote from the episode A Computer, a Plastic Pony, and a Case of Beer

George Sr.: Button you pull, that's stupid.

Quote from the episode A Computer, a Plastic Pony, and a Case of Beer

Mary: Missy! Turn off the computer. Time to go to bed.
Missy: I got to finish my homework! [playing Wheel of Fortune on the computer] Big money, big money. Yes!

Quote from the episode A Computer, a Plastic Pony, and a Case of Beer

Computer: Hello, I am Eliza.
George Jr.: [typing] Eliza, are you hot?
Computer: In your fantasies, am I hot?
George Jr.: [typing] Oh yes.
Sheldon: You realize you're not talking to a real person.
George Jr.: Hey, get out of here. I'm about to score.

Quote from the episode A Computer, a Plastic Pony, and a Case of Beer

Sheldon: And this program will allow us to track our family finances, create a budget, and prepare tax documents.
George Sr.: That's impressive.
Sheldon: Would you like to know how much money you spend on beer annually?
George Sr.: No.
Mary: I would.
Sheldon: $936.
Mary: George!
Sheldon: If you switched to Hawaiian Punch, we could live in a bigger house.

Quote from the episode A Computer, a Plastic Pony, and a Case of Beer

Meemaw: Hey, kids, come here. Look at that. It looks like your mom and dad are gonna be all right.
Missy: Does this mean we're going home?
Meemaw: It appears so.
Sheldon: I didn't even get to wear my earmuffs yet.

Quote from the episode A Computer, a Plastic Pony, and a Case of Beer

Mary: You think I should apologize to George?
Meemaw: Well, of course not. That would set a terrible precedent. I think you should go back over there to pick up some clothes for the kids and be all cold and distant, so he has to apologize to you.
Mary: Oh, that's not bad.
Meemaw: Do it.
Mary: I will.
Meemaw: Why you drinking tea? Get out.

Quote from the episode A Computer, a Plastic Pony, and a Case of Beer

Meemaw: Just for your information, Sheldon is using the computer right now to try and fix your marriage.
Mary: Really? What did it say?
Meemaw: It said "Get out of your mother's house."
Mary: Mom.
Meemaw: I'm serious. I want a cigarette, and I'm tired of hiding behind the garage.

Quote from the episode A Computer, a Plastic Pony, and a Case of Beer

Mary: These home computers are amazing. I could start a real bookkeeping business with that thing.
Meemaw: And that would go a long way to giving you the financial independence you're looking for.
Mary: Darn tootin'.

Quote from the episode A Computer, a Plastic Pony, and a Case of Beer

George Jr.: Wait, I know what to do.
George Sr.: What?
George Jr.: Go across the street and apologize to Mom.
George Sr.: I got nothin' to apologize for.
George Jr.: You don't have to mean it. I never do.
George Sr.: Georgie, just mind your business.
George Jr.: Okay, sorry. In case you were wondering, I didn't mean that. See how easy it is?

Quote from the episode A Computer, a Plastic Pony, and a Case of Beer

George Sr.: Okay, water's definitely on. Try it now.
George Jr.: We want delicate or regular?
George Sr.: It doesn't matter, just turn it on.
George Jr.: Let's go with delicate to be safe.