Sheldon: Hello. Yes, you can help me, Dorothy Fitzpatrick. I'm interested in taking out a second mortgage. I'm nine years old. Why do you ask? That's called age discrimination, Dorothy, but I'm willing to let it slide. I'm glad you find me cute, but I'm deadly serious. I need funds to buy a computer. No, the house isn't in my name. I'm nine. We've established this. I do prepare the taxes for my parents, and if we tighten our belts, we'll have sufficient equity for the loan.

Sheldon: Per the student dress and grooming code, this boy's hair is too long. This boy's wearing sports attire outside a designated area. And this girl's blouse is diaphanous, which means I can see her brassiere.

Mary: You understand that some people are going to be intimidated by you, because of how smart you are?
Sheldon: Or maybe they'll recognize my intellect and make me their leader.

Mary: How about we lose the bow-tie?
Sheldon: Why?
Mary: Look around, honey. No of the other kids are wearing one.
Sheldon: Well, perhaps I'll start a fad.

Brenda Sparks: Well, I'm sorry, but you shouldn't be inferring there's something wrong with my Billy.
Meemaw: Darlin', there's no inferring. I've seen the boy sitting in the dirt eating his own belly button lint.

Dr. John Sturgis: What's this? "Connie Tucker is proud to announce that she is sweet on Dr.
John Sturgis and they are officially a romantic couple." Oh, boy! I'm back in business!

George Sr.: You mind putting down my kid?
Clint Watson: We were just playing around.
Veronica: This is my mom's boyfriend, Clint.
George Sr.: Hello, Clint. What can we do for you?
Clint Watson: I'm here to pick up Veronica. Come on.
George Sr.: You want to go with this man?
Veronica: No, sir.
George Sr.: You heard her. Thanks for stopping by.
Clint Watson: You really want to mess with me?
George Sr.: Sure. Why not?
[THUDDING OUTSIDE]
Mary: What's going on out there?
George Sr.: You might want to call the police.
Mary: Why?
George Sr.: There's a bum sleeping on our front porch.

Missy: Please, can we keep her?
Mary: No, we cannot keep her.
Missy: We don't have a dog 'cause of Sheldon, why can't I have Veronica?
Mary: I'm not participating in this conversation.
Missy: We could give Sheldon to Veronica's mom. Like a trade.

Missy: Maybe, if we make a wish at the same time we could switch places.
Veronica: You think?
Missy: It's worth a try.
Veronica: Okay. What do we need to do?
Missy: We close our eyes and at the exact same time say, "I wish I could switch places."
Veronica: Ready? One, two, three.
Both: I wish I could switch places. Well?
Missy: I'm still here. You?
Veronica: Same.
Missy: That's too bad. I really wanted to drive home. Can I anyway?
Veronica: Sure.
Missy: Really?
Veronica: No.

Missy: You probably hear this a lot, but you're, like, princess pretty.
Veronica: Oh. I don't know about that. But you are definitely princess material.
Missy: Well, until I'm allowed to wear makeup, this is as hot as I get.
Veronica: You don't need makeup.
Missy: I hope you're right. Mom says I have to wait till I'm 16.
Veronica: Mm. That'll get here sooner than you think.
Missy: Sure doesn't feel like it.
Veronica: Don't be in a rush. Honestly, I'd rather be your age again.
Missy: Really?
Veronica: Yeah. Being a grown-up is, uh complicated.