Sheldon Quotes

Quote from the episode Pilot

Sheldon: Per the student dress and grooming code, this boy's hair is too long. This boy's wearing sports attire outside a designated area. And this girl's blouse is diaphanous, which means I can see her brassiere.

Quote from the episode Pilot

Pastor: In Matthew nine, verse four, Jesus said, "Why would you entertain evil thoughts in your hearts?"
Sheldon: Do you have evil thoughts?
Mary: Ssh.
Sheldon: I just don't think this part applies to me.
Mary: That's fine. Be quiet and listen.
Sheldon: I'm only nine years old. Most evil doesn't start till puberty.

Quote from the episode Pilot

Mary: How about we lose the bow-tie?
Sheldon: Why?
Mary: Look around, honey. No of the other kids are wearing one.
Sheldon: Well, perhaps I'll start a fad.

Quote from the episode Pilot

Sheldon: (Observing the older kids outside the High School) Oh dear.

Quote from the episode Pilot

Mary: You understand that some people are going to be intimidated by you, because of how smart you are?
Sheldon: Or maybe they'll recognize my intellect and make me their leader.

Quote from the episode Pilot

Mary: Everybody excited to start school Monday?
Sheldon: I am.
Missy: I guess so.
Mary: Georgie? Freshman year, that's a big deal.
George Jr.: How can I be excited when he's gonna be in the same grade as me?
Sheldon: Don't worry, Georgie. I'm not planning on being in the ninth grade for very long.

Quote from the episode Pilot

Sheldon: I was exploring dimensional kinematics.
George Jr.: Admit it. He's adopted.
Sheldon: How can I be adopted when I have a twin sister? Think, monkey, think.

Quote from the episode Pilot

Mary: That's enough. Now, let's pray.
Sheldon: A moment please.
George Sr.: Hmm.
Mary: Leave him be.
George Sr.: He can hold hands with his family. It won't kill him.
Sheldon: We don't know that.

Quote from the episode Pilot

Sheldon: Georgie, did you wash your hands before dinner? Or even this week?
George Jr.: None of your business.
Sheldon: Hence the mittens.

Quote from the episode A Solar Calculator, a Game Ball, and a Cheerleader's Bosom

Sheldon: Well, I'm glad you're enjoying it.
Tam: You're not?
Sheldon: I was touched 82 times this afternoon.
Tam: What do you mean, "touched"?
Sheldon: Not inappropriately. Joyfully. Affectionately. A cheerleader hugged me to her bosom.
Tam: That's amazing. [goes to high five Sheldon]
Sheldon: No more high fives. I can't keep washing my hands.