‘A Mother, a Child, and a Blue Man's Backside’ Quotes Page 1 of 4
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118. A Mother, a Child, and a Blue Man's Backside
April 12, 2018Mary bans Sheldon from reading a mature comic book, and Sheldon decides it’s time to stop living under Mary’s thumb.
Quote from Meemaw
Georgie: Hey, now that you're treating him like an adult, can I have his allowance?
George: That allowance is for chores, which you already don't do.
Georgie: Come on. We all know I'm your favorite.
Meemaw: You're not even his third favorite.
Quote from Adult Sheldon
Adult Sheldon: My new adult responsibilities began that night. Luckily, a cookbook is nothing more than a set of instructions. And if there's one thing I shine at, it's following instructions.
Quote from Adult Sheldon
Adult Sheldon: In that moment, I was so angry with her, I almost opened the jar.
Quote from Meemaw
Meemaw: Okay, here you go. I got you a shovel and a bucket and some gloves.
Sheldon: Did you check the gloves for spiders?
Meemaw: Is this my first day as Meemaw?
Quote from George Sr.
George: Looks like your house is okay.
Meemaw: You were just worried I might have to come live with you.
George: Oh, I think the word you're looking for is "terrified".
Quote from Sheldon
Sheldon: Are there any Vietnamese superheroes?
Tam: There's one called Half-Face.
Sheldon: Why?
Tam: The communist government forced him to build bombs, and one blew off half his face.
Sheldon: The left half or the right half?
Tam: The bottom half.
Sheldon: That's an important half.
Quote from Sheldon
Missy: How was your chicken?
Sheldon: Not bad. The dish soap gave it a nice lemony flavor.
Quote from Sheldon
Mrs. Costello: Um, how about MIT in Boston?
Sheldon: Do they have a strong physics program?
Mrs. Costello: They're more of an engineering school.
Sheldon: Next.
Quote from Sheldon
Sheldon: Well?
Randall: Do you even have a resume?
Sheldon: No, but I have a report card that'll knock your socks off.
Quote from Sheldon
Mrs. Costello: Okay, let's see. What about Caltech in Pasadena?
Sheldon: I can't see myself living in California. I don't trust their carefree lifestyle.
Quote from Sheldon
Mrs. Costello: Are you interested in applying to a safety school in case you don't get in?
Sheldon: Safety school. You're funny.
Quote from Mary
Mary: In the name of Jesus, I place a hedge of protection around this house and my family. I command this storm to skip over our home in Jesus' name. I wish peace to every single person in this room and declare that not one of us will get hurt in this storm, in Jesus' name!
Quote from Tam
Mary: Let's go.
Sheldon: But I came here with Tam.
Mary: Tam, you coming or not?
Tam: I'm good. [to Glenn, after Mary and Sheldon leave] As you can see, I'm not related to them.
Quote from Mary
Mary: I don't understand why you'd even be interested in a book like that.
Sheldon: One of the characters is a scientist who worked on the Manhattan Project.
Mary: Well, it's filled with violence and nudity, and you are done looking at it.
Sheldon: But comics are a form of art. You wouldn't forbid me from looking at Michelangelo's David just because he's nude.
Mary: When a statue of your naked blue fella is on display at the Vatican, we'll talk.
Sheldon: Actually, David is at the Accademia Gallery in Florence.
Mary: Doesn't matter. I don't want you looking at his bottom either.
Quote from George Jr.
Georgie: What's Sheldon doing?
Mary: Cooking his own dinner.
Georgie: Why?
Mary: He wants to take care of himself like an adult.
Georgie: I plan on putting that off for as long as possible.
George: Really? It's a plan?