Sheldon: Dad, the university offered to pay for us to go to California! They're even putting us up in a hotel.
George: You're kidding.
Missy: We're going to California?
Sheldon: No, just me and Dad.
Missy: That's fair. I'm so happy for you.
Adult Sheldon: Sometimes sarcasm was laid on so thick even I could detect it.
Sheldon: Thanks!
Adult Sheldon: This was not one of those times.

George: Mr. Spock! He flies around all the time in that spaceship. He's not afraid, is he?
Sheldon: I'm not Mr. Spock.
George: No, but-but I've seen you pretend to be him. Could you do that right now? You be Spock, I'll be Kirk.
Sheldon: Maybe.
George: Okay, Mr. Spock. Your first order is to return to your seat.
Sheldon: Aye, Captain.

Sheldon: Dad, good news. Airline tickets to California are more affordable than you think.
George: Sheldon, we're not going.
Mary: What's all this about?
Sheldon: Stephen Hawking is giving a lecture at Caltech. If we leave on Wednesday and are willing to make four layovers, in Boise, Denver, Albuquerque and Fargo, we can get there for only $95 each.

George: I have a job. I can't just leave in the middle of the week.
Sheldon: Well, then what about Mom?
Mary: Sorry, Shelly, we're not in a position to do this.
Sheldon: But Stephen Hawking's my hero. Imagine if you got a chance to see Jesus or Dad got to meet the man who invented beer.

Mary: I don't feel I'm being out of line wanting to know how old this girl is or what church she goes to or her last name.
Meemaw: Owens. What? Now you know.
Mary: Unbelievable!
Meemaw: Oh, geez, you worry about Sheldon not being normal, now you're worried about Georgie being normal how did I raise such a turd?
Mary: I am not... that word.
Meemaw: If you can't say the word, you might be the word.

George: So, you pick a fight with Georgie, and I don't get to go to California?
Mary: Fine, you can go.
George: Thank you.
Mary: Have fun managing Sheldon's bathroom schedule in different time zones.

Meemaw: You keep frownin' like that, you're gonna get wrinkles like your meemaw.
Missy: You look great.
Meemaw: I know, I just wanted to hear you say it.

Meemaw: What's on your mind?
Missy: Sheldon always gets everything he wants.
Meemaw: I guess he does. That's not fair, huh?
Missy: No!
Meemaw: On the other hand, he's just going to some science lecture.
Missy: I know, but he gets to go on a plane to California.
Meemaw: Planes aren't all that great. You can't even smoke on 'em anymore.

Adult Sheldon: Nothing was able to shake me from my doldrums, not even Dr. Sturgis's jaunty new sweater-vest.
Dr. John Sturgis: Sheldon?
Sheldon: Yes?
Dr. John Sturgis: You seem distracted.
Sheldon: I really wanted to see Stephen Hawking speak at Caltech, but my parents can't afford the trip.
Dr. John Sturgis: That's too bad. Dr. H puts on a heck of a show.
Sheldon: I believe it.
Dr. John Sturgis: Would it make you feel better to know this vest is reversible?
Sheldon: A little. Thanks.

Mary: Wash up for dinner.
Georgie: I ain't eatin'.
Mary: Well, you're not watchin' TV.
Georgie: I can't leave the house, and now I can't watch TV.
Mary: Yeah, it's called being grounded.
Georgie: [under his breath] I can't wait to move out.
Mary: What was that?!
Georgie: Next time, I'll say it on the phone, so you can hear me.

Missy: Someone's Underoos are in a knot.
Sheldon: My Underoos are fitting just fine, thank you.
Missy: Then why is there a stick up your butt?
Sheldon: Stop making inquiries about my bottom.
Missy: But I enjoy it.

Meemaw: I tell you what, after practice today, you and me will do somethin' fun.
Missy: Can I have my first cigarette?
Meemaw: No!
Missy: Can I get my ears pierced?
Meemaw: Your mom won't like that. So, maybe.

Sheldon: So can we go?
George: I don't know. Go take a shower.
Sheldon: I still have two minutes and 15 seconds. Let's nail this down.
George: Where's the lecture? And if the answer's Dallas, we're not going.
Sheldon: Good news: it's not Dallas.
George: Where?
Sheldon: Pasadena, California.
George: California? That's a lot further than Dallas.
Sheldon: 1,232 miles further as the crow flies. But kudos to you for being up on your geography.

George: This is the moment we lost that game. But one bad play doesn't mean you give up. We had plenty of time to turn it around, but y'all decided it was over. I don't want to ever see that happen again. Next time something seems out of your reach, you do not quit. You just dig deeper.
Sheldon: [appears out of nowhere] Does that mean if I find an affordable flight to California, we can go?

Fran: Hi. Can I help you?
Sheldon: I'm trying to find the cheapest flight to California for me and my father.
Fran: Okay. Well, have a seat. You lookin' to go to Disneyland?
Sheldon: The only ride I'm interested in is the intellectual roller coaster of Stephen Hawking's mind.
Fran: And where is that located?
Sheldon: Well... Stephen Hawking's head. But that will be at Caltech in Pasadena.