Dr. John Sturgis: Societal norms are different on road trips. Normally, I don't eat junk food, but here, it's tradition. I'm not even sure what a chicharron is.
Sheldon: It's the deep-fried skin of a pig.
Dr. John Sturgis: That seems like something they should say on the bag.

Dr. John Sturgis: I'm doing it. This is going quite well.
Dr. Linkletter: Feel free to pick up the pace. A butterfly just passed us.
Dr. John Sturgis: Well, what's the speed limit?
Sheldon: 75.
Dr. John Sturgis: And I'm going... ten. I'll pick up the pace.

Pat: Look, you seem like nice folk, but Yankees ain't popular around here. I suggest you be on your way.
Dr. Linkletter: Sorry to have troubled you. Let's go.
Sheldon: Excuse me. My colleagues may be from the North, but for your information, I'm a Texan, born and bred. I know that real chili has no beans, and when my meemaw says, "Bless your heart," she means something very different. Now, my friend here is in need of help, and since our state motto is literally "friendship," may he please use your phone?
Pat: Well, dang. [puts the phone on the bar]
Dr. John Sturgis: And could I trouble you for a yellow pages?
Dr. Linkletter: Oh, boy.

Adult Sheldon: After a quick burial behind the bar, we were back on the road. Dr. Sturgis tried to find some appropriate music for a proper send-off. Three Christian talk shows and a whole lot of static later, he settled on what he declared the Dixieland jazz of West Texas. ["El Son de la Negra / Guadalajara" playing] Mariachi.
Dr. John Sturgis: Vaya con dios, armadillo. Vaya con dios.

Sheldon: Oh. Says here Fort Stockton is home to the world's largest roadrunner statue, which is the stuff of nightmares. But they do have a restroom.

Dr. Linkletter: On to more pressing matters. Does Sheldon Cooper have to come?
Dr. John Sturgis: Shouldn't he? He is part of the team.
Dr. Linkletter: But isn't there some rule against minors traveling?
President Hagemeyer: No.
Dr. Linkletter: Can there be?
President Hagemeyer: No, it's better for the project if he's out there in the field with you.
Dr. Linkletter: But isn't it better for his education if he stays here in class?
President Hagemeyer: Oh, I think that a trip like this could be very educational in its own way.
Dr. Linkletter: Mm. You just don't want him around here bugging you.
President Hagemeyer: Winner winner he's-going-with-you dinner.

Georgie: Hey, y'all.
Meemaw: Well, speak of the devil.
Georgie: What's going on, ladies?
Meemaw: Just getting to know Mandy here.
Mandy: Yeah, I was telling her about San Antonio.
Georgie: Oh, she's from Texas. She knows all about that stuff. Anyways, I'll let you get back to work.
Meemaw: Well, I'll leave you two kids be. And listen to me, calling you young adults "kids." [chuckles] Like you were still teenagers or something.
Mandy: I wish. [chuckles]

Mary: Who said you could go to Fort Davis?
Sheldon: President Hagemeyer.
Mary: Well, I didn't say you could go.
Sheldon: It's fine. I'll be with Dr. Sturgis and Dr. Linkletter.
Mary: For how long?
Sheldon: Three days.
Mary: And they're okay with this?
Sheldon: Why wouldn't they be?
Mary: No reason.

Meemaw: Mandy seems nice.
Georgie: She's all right.
Meemaw: Things getting serious?
Georgie: I don't know. Why?
Meemaw: Just wondering when you were gonna tell her your real age.
Georgie: Age ain't nothing but a number.
Meemaw: Yeah, well, her number's way bigger than your number.
Georgie: You ain't never lied about your age?
Meemaw: I'm a lady. Different rules.
Georgie: It's not a big deal. We're just having fun.
Meemaw: Yeah, well, before you have too much fun, you better tell her.
Georgie: That sounds less fun.
Meemaw: Welcome to being an adult. It sucks.

George: You ready for your road trip?
Sheldon: Yes. I'm plotting bathroom breaks. It's tricky because I'm not sure how frequently Dr. Linkletter and Dr. Sturgis need to urinate. Maybe I should call them.
George: Ooh, I wouldn't. You ask old guys about their bladder, you're in for a long conversation.

Georgie: Can I talk to you?
Dale: Am I in trouble?
Georgie: No. It's about a girl.
Dale: Oh. You're in trouble. Yeah, sure.

Georgie: I'm not really in trouble. I'm just dating this girl, and she's a little older than me.
Dale: What's the problem?
Georgie: She doesn't exactly know how much older than me she is.
Dale: How much older is she?
Georgie: Like ten years. But she's blond and she's really hot.
Dale: Well, that doesn't matter. I mean, if you're lying to her, that's not okay.
Georgie: Hold on. You're saying if you were my age and dating this hot girl, you'd tell her the truth and blow your chances?
Dale: Well, that's not the question you asked me.

Georgie: So, what would you really do?
Dale: [exhales] She married?
Georgie: No.
Dale: She got kids?
Georgie: No.
Dale: I don't see the problem.
Georgie: Thank you.
Dale: My pleasure. You're like the son I never wanted.

Georgie: Hey, I know I don't work here anymore, but could I use this office tonight?
Dale: No!
Georgie: Fine.
Dale: Did you used to?
Georgie: [scoffs softly] No.

Sheldon: You might want to pace yourself. Our next rest stop isn't for another... 62 miles.
Dr. Linkletter: If anyone needs to go before that, I've got a trucker's buddy in back.
Sheldon: What's that?
Dr. Linkletter: A bottle you urinate in.
Sheldon: I'm sorry, are we the Donner Party?