George Sr.: So he hasn't been in any of your classes?
Ms. Ingram: Mm-mm, not a one.
Ms. MacElroy: Nope.
George Sr.: But I bring him here, I take him home he's got to be somewhere in the building.
Ms. Ingram: Mm, I might've seen him in the library. But at this point, I sometimes think I see him when I'm alone in my house.
Ms. MacElroy: Like that creepy Chucky doll in the movies?
Ms. Ingram: [laughs] Exactly!

[on the "Why Sheldon Cooper Should Go to College" tape:]
Ms. Ingram: Honestly... teaching Sheldon is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. And I don't say that because he can be a pain. I say that because he's so intelligent, I had to study every night just to keep up. I'm gonna miss him.

Sheldon: Are you by any chance Evelyn Ingram?
Ms. Ingram: Yes.
Sheldon: The same Evelyn Ingram who checked out this book?
Ms. Ingram: And why is that your business?
Sheldon: I just assumed you were looking to make a friend.
Ms. Ingram: Oh, well, that was a long time ago. I had just gotten out of a very difficult relationship.
Sheldon: With a friend?
Ms. Ingram: Friend. Ha! I gave that man three years of my life and my innocence.
Sheldon: I don't know what that means.
Ms. Ingram: It means men are lying dogs only interested in one thing-
Sheldon: Well, that's not the dictionary definition.
Ms. Ingram: Mm-hmm. Always starts the same. A quick glance across the room, a casual hand on the shoulder, lunch at Stuckey's. [LAUGHS] Oh, yeah, it's all romance and flowers in the beginning

Ms. Ingram: Child, go outside.

Ms. Ingram: Take one and pass it back. Take one and pass it back. As you all know, this test'll count for 25% of your final grade. Be sure to show all your work. If you get stuck on a question, move on and come back to it at the end. And I shouldn't have to say this, but if there's any cheating, I will see it. I got eyes in the back of my head. I got more eyes than a potato.

Ms. Ingram: Today we're gonna work on interior angles of a convex polygon. Georgie, where's your brother?
George Jr.: I don't know, do you really want him here?
Ms. Ingram: Convex polygons are polygons...

Mr. Givens: Oh, man. How great is this place without kids in it?
Ms. Ingram: I heard that.

Principal Petersen: I've asked you all here because we got a situation. George Cooper's considering a job at a college and taking Sheldon with him.
Mr. Givens: Yes!
Ms. MacElroy: Is it far away? I hope it's far away.
Mr. Givens: Maybe it's overseas.
Ms. Ingram: Ooh, like Fiji.

Sheldon: Excuse me, Ms. Ingram?
Ms. Ingram: Sheldon, it's recess. Go outside, see what it's like.

Ms. Ingram: You're like, "I'm here because I care. And by the way, your phone could make calls, too." Then tries to turn this whole thing around like it's all about you being needy, and you're like, "Yes, I have needs! That's what makes me human!"

Ms. Ingram: I mean, why'd I bother becoming a teacher? He knows what I'm gonna say before I say it. Or I say it and look like a dumbbell.

Principal Petersen: What's going on here?
Ms. MacElroy: You said he was going away.
Ms. Ingram: Liar.