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33Quotes from ‘A Swedish Science Thing and the Equation for Toast’

: A Swedish Science Thing and the Equation for Toast

222. A Swedish Science Thing and the Equation for Toast

Aired May 16, 2019

As the Nobel Prize announcements approach, Sheldon decides to host a party and invite the entire school to listen to the event unfold. Dr. Sturgis is distressed to realize his dream of winning a Nobel prize may not come true. Meanwhile, Georgie infuriates his father when he decides to pay for cable out of his own pocket.

Quote from Sheldon

George Sr.: So you want me to put that thing on that roof?
Sheldon: Yes.
George Sr.: So you can hear who won a science prize?
Sheldon: The Nobel Prize.
George Sr.: Why can't you read who won in the newspaper?
Sheldon: I could say the same thing about the Super Bowl, but you still watch it.
Missy: He got you there.

Quote from Sheldon

George Sr.: The Super Bowl is football. Your thing is- I don't even know what your thing is.
Sheldon: It's the most prestigious award in the field of physics.
George Sr.: I'll think about it.
Sheldon: When I win one, I might just thank you in my speech.
George Sr.: The things I do for you.

Quote from Missy

[As George, Sheldon and Missy look up at the roof]
George Sr.: Georgie, get out here! Got a chore for you!
Missy: Good call. You have no business up there.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: In other school news, this Friday night our football team will be playing another football team.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: You'll be amazed to know that the Nobel Prize, while being the most prestigious award in science, is not generally celebrated in this country. No parades, no fireworks.
Which is why I thought having a breakfast celebration was not only appropriate, but long overdue. You may have noticed that I went with Cheerios, and believe me, it was a decision that I came to after careful consideration. There were birds on the Froot Loops, Cocoa Puffs and Corn Flakes, so they were out. And leprechauns and elves are magical creatures that would be a slap in the face to the scientific community. Anyway, the festivities begin at 4:30 a.m. You're most welcome to come. As are you, unhappy bag boy.

Quote from George Jr.

George Sr.: TV's asking me for some kind of code.
George Jr.: Yeah, that's the parental control lock.
George Sr.: So how do I take it off?
George Jr.: You don't. This is my cable that I bought with my money.
George Sr.: You got to be kidding me.
George Jr.: Here's an idea, how about you go read a book?
George Sr.: Oh, this isn't over, little man. Not by a long shot!

Quote from Missy

Sheldon: I bet you don't even know the first thing about Sweden.
Missy: Well, you're wrong, it's where those little meatballs come from. And that chef on The Muppets. That's two things. Oh, and it's in Canada. That's three.

Quote from George Sr.

George Jr.: A bill? Really?
George Sr.: Room and board, buddy.
George Jr.: $50 a month for food?
George Sr.: The way you eat, I should've gone $50 a week.
George Jr.: Laundry services?
George Sr.: Your poor mother has to touch your underwear.
George Jr.: What's the $10 a month "peema" charge?
George Sr.: Oh, P-I-M-A, that's a "Pain in My Ass" tax. My way of getting compensated for you taking years off my life.

Quote from Dr. John Sturgis

Meemaw: John?
Dr. John Sturgis: Hello.
Meemaw: What- What're you doing?
Dr. John Sturgis: I was doing tai chi and then I realized that I was continually being bombarded by subatomic particles and it behooves me, perhaps, to pay slightly closer attention to them. Maybe "chi" is the ancient Chinese word for the subatomic universe.
Meemaw: You're scaring me, John.
Dr. John Sturgis: Well, there's nothing to be scared of. Tomorrow, somebody will win the Nobel Prize about these particles not me. But I'm experiencing them firsthand [LAUGHS] which could be better.
Meemaw: Why don't you come down and experience them on the floor?
Dr. John Sturgis: I think I just felt a neutrino. [LAUGHING] You know, neutrinos are interesting. They never bond with anything, they're always alone. I think that one went right through my pants.
Meemaw: All right, why don't we go downstairs, and I'll fix us both a nice cup of hot tea and you can tell me all about it. Please?
Dr. John Sturgis: Okay. It was my dream to win the Nobel, and I'm not going to. I bet Sheldon will.
Meemaw: That'll be something.
Dr. John Sturgis: Yeah.

Quote from Sheldon

Mary: How's it going, baby?
Sheldon: I don't think anyone's showing up, not even Tam.
Mary: I'm here.
Sheldon: Yeah, but you're my mom. You live on the premises. At least Dr. Sturgis should be here any minute.
Mary: Shelly, I'm afraid Dr. Sturgis isn't coming this morning.
Sheldon: Why not?
Mary: He isn't feeling well.
Sheldon: Oh, dear. Should we send him a get well card?
Mary: I think that'd be terrific.

Quote from Adult Sheldon

Adult Sheldon: A primary feature of quarks is that they're always bonded together, but in that moment, I felt like a neutrino, destined to be alone forever.
[Montage of young Leonard, Penny, Raj, Howard, Bernadette and Amy at that moment]
Adult Sheldon: Thankfully, I was wrong.

Quote from Meemaw

Sheldon: It's a shortwave radio. Dr. Sturgis is letting me use it.
Dr. John Sturgis: It picks up broadcasts from around the world.
Sheldon: Listen. This is the time being announced every minute from Ottawa.
Operator: At the sound of the tone, the local time in Ottawa will be 5:13. [BEEPS]
Meemaw: Spellbinding, ain't it?

Quote from Dr. John Sturgis

Sheldon: Which scientists are you rooting for?
Dr. John Sturgis: Oh, I don't have a favorite. There's so much good work being done.
Sheldon: I think it's time Frederick Reines finally gets his due for the neutrino.
Dr. John Sturgis: I suppose he has a shot.
Sheldon: I should think so, he confirmed the neutrino's existence 35 years ago. What the heck are they waiting for?
Dr. John Sturgis: Lots of talented people don't get recognized.

Quote from George Sr.

George Jr.: You know if we had cable, we'd have, like, 60 channels?
George Sr.: We have plenty of channels.
George Jr.: We have seven.
George Sr.: Hey! There are starving kids in Africa with no channels.
George Jr.: Come on, it don't cost much.
George Sr.: I'm not paying for television. Television is free. Always was, always will be.

Quote from George Sr.

George Jr.: You're so cheap.
George Sr.: If you want cable, pay for it yourself. Or better yet, try turning that thing off and go read a book.
George Jr.: "Read a book"?

Quote from Dr. John Sturgis

Meemaw: John?
Dr. John Sturgis: Hello, my sweet.
Meemaw: What are you doing out here?
Dr. John Sturgis: Weeding. You have goosegrass. And you can't have a nice lawn if you have goosegrass.
Meemaw: It's kind of dark out.
Dr. John Sturgis: Goosegrass doesn't sleep. It kills the good grass and leaves bald spots. But don't worry, I'm on the job.
Meemaw: Oh. Okay. Can I get you a flashlight?
Dr. John Sturgis: I would prefer a headlamp, such as one would use for spelunking.
Meemaw: Okay. Let me check my spelunking supplies.
Dr. John Sturgis: You're a peach. [singing] Pulling weeds and picking stones-

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Good morning, Medford High School, this is Class President Sheldon Cooper with an important science bulletin. This Wednesday morning, the Nobel Prize in Physics will be announced, and I'd like to invite each and every one of you to my garage to listen live at 5:00 a.m. and be a part of scientific history. Food and refreshments will be served-

Quote from George Sr.

Assistant Coach Wilkins: You worried your kid just invited the whole school to your house?
George Sr.: At 5:00 in the morning for a Swedish science thing? [CHUCKLES] Not at all.

Quote from Tam

Sheldon: What kind of snacks do you think I should serve at my Nobel gathering?
Tam: It's on Swedish radio. How about Swedish meatballs?
Sheldon: But it's at 5:00 a.m.
Tam: Swedish breakfast balls?

Quote from Dr. John Sturgis

Dr. John Sturgis: Connie. What are you doing here?
Meemaw: Well, I got a call from your friend Linkletter, and, uh I-I was a little worried about you.
Dr. John Sturgis: What did he say?
Meemaw: That you had some kind of scuffle with the campus security?
Dr. John Sturgis: No scuffle. I was using the university's mainframe, and they asked me to leave. Simple as that.
Meemaw: So nobody chased you?
Dr. John Sturgis: I was startled, and so I did what any normal person does under the circumstances: climb out a window and run like the dickens.

Quote from Meemaw

Meemaw: Come here. I want to show you something. [leading Mary into the bathroom] Look at this. John did it. [pulling back the shower curtain to reveal an equation scribbled on the wall]
Mary: Oh, dear.
Meemaw: "Oh, dear" is right.
Mary: Was he in here taking a bath and just started thinking about science stuff?
Meemaw: Read the top right part.
Mary: "Time plus heat plus bread equals toast."
Meemaw: [whispering] That ain't science.
Mary: Well, it's not wrong, either.
Meemaw: Look at this.
Mary: Yeah, well, that's peculiar.

Quote from Missy

Missy: You know what I like about you, Sheldon? You're incredibly smart, but you're also really dumb.
Sheldon: Why would you say that?
Missy: You think people are gonna come here to hang out with you?
Sheldon: Yes.
Missy: To hear about science?
Sheldon: Yes.
Missy: On the radio?
Sheldon: Yes.
Missy: At 5:00 in the morning?
Sheldon: Yes.
Missy: And you're asking me why you're dumb?
Sheldon: Well, I happen to have a little more faith in the curiosity of my fellows.
Missy: See, you sound smart, but you're still dumb.

Quote from Missy

George Sr.: Well, look at that, there's boobies on my TV.
Missy: Ooh!
George Sr.: Get out of here!
Missy: I'm telling Mom!

Quote from Beverly Hofstadter (O.S.)

Beverly Hofstadter: Leonard, dear, you should be in bed.

Quote from Mrs. Wolowitz (O.S.)

Mrs. Wolowitz: Howard, turn off that fakakta game and go to sleep.

Quote from Meemaw

Mary: And you thought this was okay to go on in my house?
Meemaw: It was that or my house, so here we are.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Wednesday morning, the Nobel Prize winners are going to be announced in Sweden, and we'll hear it as it's happening.
Dr. John Sturgis: Well, 2.8 milliseconds later.
Sheldon: Sure, because of the propagation.

Quote from Dr. John Sturgis

Mary: And what's this? Some kind of antenna?
Sheldon: Yes. It needs to go up on the roof.
Mary: You're not going on the roof.
Dr. John Sturgis: Of course he's not. I am.
Meemaw: You're not going, either.
Dr. John Sturgis: Excuse me, I have six years of tai chi under my belt. I have the balance of a jungle cat.
Meemaw: You doing some kind of slow-motion hula dance in the park is not gonna change my mind.
Dr. John Sturgis: I do much more than just this.

Quote from Dr. John Sturgis

Dr. John Sturgis: [singing] Inch by inch, Row by row, Gonna make this garden grow, Gonna mulch it deep and-

Quote from Meemaw

Meemaw: Hello?
Dr. Linkletter: Hi, Connie, this is Dr. Linkletter. I work in the physics department with Dr. Sturgis.
Meemaw: Oh, sure, I remember you. What can I do for you?
Dr. Linkletter: Well, I'm just calling to let you know that John is fine, but there's been a bit of an incident at the school today.
Meemaw: What happened?
Dr. Linkletter: He broke into the mainframe computer lab, tripped off an alarm. Security came, and there was a chase.
Meemaw: A chase?
Dr. Linkletter: It was a short one. He's not a fast man.
Meemaw: Uh, well, where is he now?
Dr. Linkletter: He's in the dean's office. He has you listed as the emergency contact, so I just wanted to let you know.
Meemaw: Well, uh thank you so much for calling.
Dr. Linkletter: My pleasure. If there's anything I can do, feel free to reach out. Or if you'd like to go grab a coffee sometime, I know a cute little cafe. Do you like scones?
Meemaw: You're not actually trying to hit on me right now, are you?
Dr. Linkletter: Is it working?
Meemaw: No. I should go.

Quote from Tam

Sheldon: I could offer an assortment of breakfast cereal.
Tam: My mom doesn't let me have cereal with sugar in it. Or anything that makes me happy.

Quote from George Jr.

George Sr.: Since when do we get MTV?
George Jr.: Since I got cable.
George Sr.: What do you mean, you got cable?
George Jr.: I called up the cable company and I said, "Hello, I'd like cable," and they put in cable.
George Sr.: I'm not paying for that.
George Jr.: Keep your shirt on. I paid for it.
George Sr.: Is that so?
George Jr.: Yeah, with money I saved from my job.
George Sr.: Well, okay. So do we get any of those movie channels?
George Jr.: Dad, I'm trying to watch the news.

Quote from Meemaw

Dr. Linkletter: Hello?
Meemaw: Hello, Dr. Linkletter. This is Connie Tucker.
Dr. Linkletter: Connie, how lovely to hear from you.
Meemaw: Stop. I'm worried about John. He was supposed to be here for dinner and he never showed up.
Dr. Linkletter: That's not good. He also missed two of his classes today.
Meemaw: Do you have any idea where he might be?
Dr. Linkletter: Hard to say. If he's having another episode, he could be anywhere.
Meemaw: Hold on, what do you mean "episode"?
Dr. Linkletter: Oh, I thought you knew. In the past, John has struggled with his grip on reality.
Meemaw: What kind of struggle are we talking about?
Dr. Linkletter: The kind where he's had to be hospitalized.
Meemaw: Well, he never said anything about that to me.
Dr. Linkletter: Well, I certainly wouldn't fabricate such a story.
Meemaw: Okay, look, I-if-if you hear from him or see him, please let me know. Of course.
Dr. Linkletter: Now, if down the road things don't work out with you two, I'd love to-
Meemaw: Good-bye.

 Episode 221