Tam: Look at this, my mother left me a note. "You can do better. Mom." Not "Love, Mom," not "XO, Mom," just "Mom."

Sheldon: Excuse me, sir. When you're done urinating, I'd like to ask you some questions about social dynamics, intimidation, threats, et cetera. Finish up, no hurry.

Sheldon: Good news, I just spoke to Tommy Clarkson.
Georgie: What? Are you crazy?
Sheldon: Nope, Mom had me tested.

Meemaw: Hello. Well, don't you look like Madonna?
Missy: Thank you. I was actually trying to look like you.
Meemaw: Thank you.

Missy: That's my mom?
Meemaw: [CHUCKLES] Yep, the little queen of darkness.
Missy: Is she smoking a cigarette?
Meemaw: Yep. Probably stole it from me.
Missy: When did she stop being cool?
Meemaw: Well, first of all, smoking is not cool.
Missy: You do it.
Meemaw: Yeah, well, next time I'm hocking up some black goo out of my lung, I'll call you over and you can see how cool it is.
Missy: Awesome.
Meemaw: It is not awesome.

Meemaw: Your takeaway should be that you are the reason she's such a good mom, which she is. And the next time you hurt her feelings - which you will - you might remember how much you mean to her.
Missy: Now I feel bad.
Meemaw: [Meemaw hugs Missy] Good.

Mr. Givens: All right, everyone, we'll pick it up here tomorrow. If we're lucky, we may find a fossil as old as lunch lady Phyllis. You people don't know what's funny.

Tommy: So Georgie's your brother?
Sheldon: Correct.
Tommy: And you're trying to protect him?
Sheldon: Incorrect. I'm just curious what he did to incur your wrath. Also, kudos on the hand washing.

Tommy: Your brother's a punk.
Sheldon: I'm not familiar with that terminology.
Tommy: He tried to hit on my girlfriend.
Sheldon: Interesting. So he openly pursued your mate, and to re-assert dominance, you threatened him with physical violence.
Tommy: Hell yeah, I did.
Sheldon: I understand that. I often intimidate people with my intelligence. [A kid walks into the bathroom and backs away] Well, one of us scared him.

Georgie: Hey, Tommy. How you doing?
Tommy: You got a problem with him, you got a problem with me.
Sheldon: And just to make his logic clear, you do have a problem with me.

Sheldon: What are you watching?
Georgie: Go away.
Sheldon: Are you angry with me?
Georgie: I don't want to see your face right now.
Sheldon: Very well, but I'd like to watch Professor Proton.
Georgie: Did you hear me? Go away.
Sheldon: Well, did you hear me? I'd like to watch Professor Proton.
Georgie: Too bad.
Sheldon: Interesting. I wonder how my new friend Tommy Clarkson would feel about this.
Georgie: Well, he's not here, is he?
Sheldon: No, he's not. I guess I'll just have to call him.
Georgie: You're kidding.
Sheldon: Are you going to put on Professor Proton?
Georgie: No.
Sheldon: Hmm. [starts dialing]
Georgie: Okay, okay.
Sheldon: Thank you. I didn't hear a "you're welcome."
Georgie: Shut up!
Sheldon: We'll work on that.

Meemaw: And for future reference, go lighter on the blush, or you'll end up looking like Raggedy Ann.
Missy: She got Raggedy Andy looking like that.
Meemaw: He's her brother.
Missy: Oh. I've been playing with those dolls all wrong.

Adult Sheldon: News of my friendship with Tommy had apparently spread. So much so, the student body was finally treating me with the respect I deserved, even when Tommy wasn't around. This must be how Carl Sagan felt, walking through the halls of PBS.

Adult Sheldon: Like Superman in a phone booth, I was no stranger to undressing in my gym locker. But not today. Thanks to Tommy, I was invincible.

Adult Sheldon: Conventional wisdom tells us that when one stands up to a bully, the bully will inevitably back down and respect you for your courage. My experience suggests otherwise. When Jason finally caught me, he had the good sense not to commit assault and battery. This did not, however, prevent him from imprisoning me in his locker. That was a very long night. Very long.