Meemaw: So I saw a lawyer today.
Mary: Why?
Meemaw: I'm putting together my last will and testament.
George: We're gonna miss ya.
Mary: George.
Meemaw: Don't worry. I ain't leaving him squat.

Mary: Sheldon, who are you talking to?
Sheldon: Dorothy Fitzpatrick.
Mary: Who's Dorothy Fitzpatrick? Is she a new buddy from school?
Sheldon: She's the loan officer at The First National Bank of Medford.
Mary: Why are you talking to her?
Sheldon: Mom, can this wait? I'm trying to negotiate favorable terms. Hello, Dorothy? [Mary hangs up]

Adult Sheldon: People often wonder why I chose to pursue a career in theoretical physics. I usually respond by saying I wanted to unravel the inner workings of the universe. But the real answer was I wanted to prove this nincompoop wrong.

Georgie: Are you dyin'?
Meemaw: We're all dyin', honey. From the second we're born, it's just a slip and slide into the darkness.
Georgie: Unless you get bit by a vampire.
Meemaw: Well, now that goes without saying.

George: Damn it. I've had enough of this. Sheldon, get up.
Sheldon: What's the point?
George: We're going to Houston.
Sheldon: Really?
George: Yeah. You and me are gonna give those space monkeys a little talkin' to.
Adult Sheldon: I often found my father to be a strange and puzzling man, but at that moment, I never loved him more.

Dr. Hodges: Now, what I thought would be fun to talk about today is what NASA's planning on doing beyond the Space Shuttle. Things like the first manned mission to Mars. Uh, yeah?
Georgie: Did you see the movie Aliens?
Dr. Hodges: I did.
Georgie: Did you think it was cool?
Dr. Hodges: Uh, sure, I enjoyed it.
Georgie: Me, too.
Dr. Hodges: Football player, right?
Georgie: Yes, sir.

Georgie: I'm bored.
Missy: Me, too.
Meemaw: Hey. Someday somebody's gonna write a book about Sheldon. Don't you want there to be a chapter about how loving and supportive you two were?
Georgie: Doesn't matter. I ain't reading it.

Sheldon: [on the phone] Hello. Yes, you can help me, Dorothy Fitzpatrick. I'm interested in taking out a second mortgage. I'm nine years old. Why do you ask? That's called age discrimination, Dorothy, but I'm willing to let it slide. I'm glad you find me cute, but I'm deadly serious. I need funds to buy a computer. No, the house isn't in my name. I'm nine. We've established this. I do prepare the taxes for my parents, and if we tighten our belts, we'll have sufficient equity for the loan.

Sheldon: [on the phone] Hello, First National Bank. I'd like to speak with a loan officer. It's regarding a second mortgage on my home. My name is Sheldon Lee Cooper. Sure, I'll hold. Oh, I hate hold music.

Dr. Hodges: Now, of course, before we can set out to explore the solar system, we've got a few minor problems to overcome. Not the least of which is, every time we launch, it costs the U.S. taxpayers hundreds of millions of dollars. [Sheldon raises his hand]
Mr. Givens: Oh, no, no, no, no.
Dr. Hodges: Yes?
Sheldon: If you want to save money, why don't you land the booster rockets instead of letting them drop in the ocean?
Dr. Hodges: [LAUGHS] That's a cute idea, but, uh, it's not technically possible.
Sheldon: Why not?
Dr. Hodges: Well, it's hard to explain. The math is pretty complicated.
Sheldon: Perhaps I could help you with it.

Sheldon: Meemaw?
Meemaw: Mr. Moonpie, how might I help you?
Sheldon: How much money are you planning to leave me when you die?
Meemaw: Nice talkin' to you.

Tam: Hey, how come you weren't in math class?
Sheldon: That guy from NASA treated me like a child, and I need to prove him wrong.
Tam: You are a child.
Sheldon: Tread lightly, my friend.

Tam: You know, sometimes you sound like a super villain.
Sheldon: Silence!
Tam: That'll be more effective after your voice changes.
Sheldon: [sighs] [in deep voice:] Silence.

Mr. Givens: I have a special treat for y'all today. My dear friend and former college roommate is here from the Johnson Space Center in Houston to talk to us about our space program. And yeah, I know what you're thinking. These guys were roomies. How does one go on to be a-a fancy scientist at NASA, and the other's teaching freshman science at a public high school? Yeah, Sheldon?
Sheldon: I was thinking that.
Mr. Givens: Thank you.

Mary: Shelly, you haven't touched your dinner. You feel okay?
Sheldon: Oh, yes. I was just thinking.
Mary: About what, baby?
Sheldon: The optimal height-to-width ratio for a reusable rocket.
Meemaw: I was just thinking the exact same thing.
Sheldon: Really?
Meemaw: Oh, Moonpie, I love you so much.