Meemaw: You're not gonna get much out of Fred and Wilma here. Why don't you just get crackin' on the kids?

George: Listen, why don't we just go there this Saturday and give it a try?
Mary: And if you don't like it, we don't have to do it again.
George: Or they'll love it, and they'll do it till they're 18, 19 years old.
Sheldon: I already love it.
George: My man. Missy? I believe there might be a Dairy Queen on the way there.
Missy: Can I get an Oreo Blizzard?
George: You know what I think? I think you're smarter than him.

Sheldon: A lion sitting in a chair, holding a pipe.
Dr. Edward Pilson: Good. But what do you think is on his mind?
Sheldon: How should I know? Maybe he's wondering why he's posing for a silly picture instead of eating a gazelle.

Dr. Edward Pilson: Anything else?
Sheldon: What exactly are we doing here? I thought the purpose of this study was to find out how smart I am.
Dr. Edward Pilson: That's what we're doing, but there are different kinds of intelligence.
Sheldon: Poppycock! There's only one kind of intelligence.

Dr. Edward Pilson: Okay, Sheldon, this first battery of tests measures basic problem-solving abilities.
Sheldon: Is the Kaufman test or the Wechsler Intelligence Scale?
Dr. Edward Pilson: Are you familiar with those?
Sheldon: It's embarrassing, but I enjoy a little light reading in the bathroom.

Meemaw: I think they found his kryptonite.

Mary: A little late for me to start cooking. Why don't we stop somewhere for dinner.
George: Really? The five of us? That's kind of pricey.
Meemaw: Would you rather buy a fishing boat?
George: You're a blabbermouth, you know that?

Adult Sheldon: The bond between twins is an incredibly close one, which is why I moved 1,500 miles to California the first chance I got.

Dr. John Sturgis: So, some colleagues of mine at the university are doing a research study on twins. I told them about Sheldon and his sister, and they were most intrigued.
George: Uh, what kind of study?
Dr. John Sturgis: It's a longitudinal investigation of environmental and genetic factors in the development of cognitive and other capacities in pairs of fraternal and identical twins.
Meemaw: You asked.

George: Well, geez, I don't I don't know if I want some scientists pokin' and proddin' the kids.
Meemaw: Oh, but they wouldn't be poked and prodded. They just have to, you know, answer some questions.
Dr. John Sturgis: And maybe some puzzles and tests.
George: That's not too bad. Where is it?
Dr. John Sturgis: Houston.
George: Oh, it just got bad. That's that's a long drive.
Dr. John Sturgis: It does pay $50 an hour plus gas and expenses.
George: Really?
Meemaw: I told you to start with that.

Mary: But Sheldon's already self-conscious about being different from other kids. I worry how this might affect him.
George: You're being too protective. He's a rock.
Mary: A rock? Are we raising the same child?

George: Well, a couple of scientists at the college where Dr. Sturgis teaches are doing a research study on twins. They want to meet you guys, ask you some questions.
Sheldon: Oh, boy, a research study. Will they give us written tests?
George: Yeah, I think so.
Sheldon: Oh, boy.

Mary: Well, to be perfectly honest, Sheldon has always avoided children his own age.
George: Tell 'em about temper tantrums.
Mary: They're not temper tantrums, he just has strong opinions.
Meemaw: [CHUCKLES] Yeah, like when you yell and stomp your feet, and slam the door off its hinge. They're scientists. You can't trick 'em.

Dr. Sandra Thorpe: Was there anything unusual about your pregnancy?
Mary: No, not that I remember.
George: Really? You cried for, like, seven months.
Mary: Those were tears of joy. [WEAK LAUGH]
George: What about all those times you punched me?
Mary: Punches of joy.

Dr. John Sturgis: He's like a young version of me, but without corrective shoes.