George Sr. Quotes

Quote from the episode A Dog, a Squirrel, and a Fish Named Fish

Herschel Sparks: What's going on?
George Sr.: Your dog got into our house.
Herschel Sparks: How the hell did he do that?
George Sr.: He pushed in a screen window.
Herschel Sparks: You think he chewed through the fence again?
George Sr.: All I know is Sheldon's yelling at the dog, and Mary's yelling at me. Now I'm looking at you in your underwear.

Quote from the episode A Dog, a Squirrel, and a Fish Named Fish

Herschel Sparks: Bucky got in their house.
Brenda Sparks: That's funny.
George Sr.: It might be funny one day, not right now.

Quote from the episode Dolomite, Apple Slices, and a Mystery Woman

George Sr.: Hey, Georgie, if you ever find a girlfriend, maybe you can go on a double date with your brother.
Mary: She's not his girlfriend.
George Jr.: And I can find one I'm just not looking.
George Sr.: We gotta get that Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue away from him before he's ruined forever.

Quote from the episode A Pineapple and the Bosom of Male Friendship

Mary: Why don't you take John to a bar or something?
George Sr.: Why?
Mary: 'Cause the children don't need to hear about how attractive he finds their grandmother.
George Sr.: Why don't you take him out?
Mary: Fine. You make sure the kids take baths and get to bed. Oh, and Sheldon needs his fingernails trimmed.
[cut to:]
George Sr.: Hey, John, what do you say you and I go grab a beer?

Quote from the episode Family Dynamics and a Red Fiero

George Sr.: Very impressive. Not sure how you did it, but that is the least disgusting locker room I've ever been in.

Quote from the episode Family Dynamics and a Red Fiero

George Sr.: I turned it down.
Mary: Why?
Missy: 'Cause you're afraid of Mom?

Quote from the episode Dolomite, Apple Slices, and a Mystery Woman

Mary: How's it going?
George Sr.: Well, I think I figured out the problem.
Mary: What is it?
George Sr.: I'm a terrible mechanic.

Quote from the episode A Pineapple and the Bosom of Male Friendship

Nate: Hey, George. Who's your friend?
George Sr.: Hey, Nate. This is John Sturgis. He's a scientist.
Dr. John Sturgis: Pleased to make your acquaintance, Nate.
Nate: What can I get you?
Dr. John Sturgis: Um, do you have sarsaparilla?
George Sr.: Two beers. We'll take two beers.

Quote from the episode A Solar Calculator, a Game Ball, and a Cheerleader's Bosom

George Sr.: Let's go for it.
Assistant Coach Wilkins: Why? We got plenty of time.
George Sr.: I know. Still want to go for it.
Assistant Coach Wilkins: We're on the 12-yard line. Everybody know you punt.
George Sr.: Why does everybody knowing something make it right?

Quote from the episode An Eagle Feather, a String Bean, and an Eskimo

Meemaw: All I am saying is that this would be a great opportunity for Sheldon.
Mary: I know, you're right.
George Sr.: Whoa, she's right? I said the same thing in Petersen's office, you looked at me like I was an idiot. Yeah, that's the look.

Quote from the episode Dolomite, Apple Slices, and a Mystery Woman

Mary: Well, Sheldon's been spending quite a bit of time with this Libby girl, lately.
George Sr.: Yeah, so?
Mary: So isn't he a little young to be hanging with teenagers?
George Sr.: Oh, he's only young on the outside. Inside, he's an old man.
Mary: I'm being serious.
George Sr.: So am I. And with that bow-tie, he's old on the outside, too.

Quote from the episode A Broken Heart and a Crock Monster

George Sr.: At least he's not crying anymore.

Quote from the episode A Pineapple and the Bosom of Male Friendship

Dr. John Sturgis: Can you believe Connie was my first girlfriend?
George Sr.: Really?
Dr. John Sturgis: And probably my last.
George Sr.: Come on, don't talk like that.
Dr. John Sturgis: No, it's true. She may not realize it, but this is all for the best. I'm damaged goods.
George Sr.: No, you're not.
Dr. John Sturgis: It had just been so long since I'd had an episode. I thought I was okay. [laughs] But, clearly, I'm not, and, uh, who knows if it'll happen again. And, uh, I just can't take the risk of putting Connie through that.
George Sr.: Hey, she's got problems, too. I've seen her take a wine cooler out of the trash and finish it.
Dr. John Sturgis: [laughs]
George Sr.: I'm not joking.

Quote from the episode An Eagle Feather, a String Bean, and an Eskimo

George Sr.: Not sure about these uniforms. Kinda froufrou.

Quote from the episode A Loaf of Bread and a Grand Old Flag

Mary: Your sandwich is exactly the same, Sheldon.
George Sr.: What's going on?
Sheldon: This bread is different.
George Sr.: Let me see. You know, he might be right. [Mary hits George] Ow.

Quote from the episode A Broken Heart and a Crock Monster

Mary: George.
George Sr.: What? What's wrong?
Mary: The pastor's up making tea.
George Sr.: What, you want me to blow on it?

Quote from the episode A Broken Heart and a Crock Monster

Mary: Go talk to him.
George Sr.: About what?
Mary: I don't know. Maybe you could give him a male perspective on relationship issues.
George Sr.: How about this? What if I close my eyes and pray on it?

Quote from the episode A Financial Secret and Fish Sauce

George Sr.: Okay, I know you're having a tough time with this, but you're doing great. You spend some time at Tam's house, you know, clear your head, and come back home refreshed.
Sheldon: And then I can tell Mom?
George Sr.: Oh, no, you can never tell Mom.

Quote from the episode A Broken Heart and a Crock Monster

Mary: Really? You're drinking in the morning now?
George Sr.: What? Oh, look at that. Felt later.

Quote from the episode A Loaf of Bread and a Grand Old Flag

George Sr.: Who you talking to? That Veronica girl?
George Jr.: Yeah.
George Sr.: What's going on with that?
George Jr.: Nothing. We're just friends.
George Sr.: Okay. You ever want to run any of this stuff by me, I'm here for you.
George Jr.: Why would I want to run it by you?
George Sr.: Well, I was once a 15-year-old boy. I know what it's like to have strong feelings for a girl.
George Jr.: Gross. I'm not gonna talk to you about this.
George Sr.: I-I saw that kid on Who's the Boss talk to Tony Danza about his problems.
George Jr.: They're not related. This is totally different.
George Sr.: Damn it, Georgie, you could flush once in a while.