George: What's going on? You all right?
Mary: I'm not feeling great.
George: Is it a pregnant thing? 'Cause I got some good news on that. I got a decent raise.
Mary: It doesn't matter.
George: What do you mean it doesn't matter? We can pull this off now.
Mary: I lost the baby.
George: Oh.
Mary: You're probably relieved, huh?
George: Actually no. I love the first three. Fourth one's a charm, right?

George: And Sheldon's fine. You know what he's like. If someone took him, I'm sure they'll bring him right back.

Georgie: A bill? Really?
George: Room and board, buddy.
Georgie: $50 a month for food?
George: The way you eat, I should've gone $50 a week.
Georgie: Laundry services?
George: Your poor mother has to touch your underwear.
Georgie: What's the $10 a month "peema" charge?
George: Oh, P-I-M-A, that's a "Pain in My Ass" tax. My way of getting compensated for you taking years off my life.

Georgie: You know what else is nice?
George: Hmm?
Georgie: I get to learn from all your parenting mistakes.
George: I'm starting to think letting you live this long was one of 'em.
Georgie: Like that. I'd never say something so awful to my kid. [George scoffs] Thanks, big guy.

Rabbi Schneiderman: Can I ask how your parents feel about this?
Sheldon: Well, when I presented them with my plan, the words "over my dead body" were used.
Rabbi Schneiderman: [chuckles] I'm not surprised.
Sheldon: But they were similarly resistant when I wanted to get an ant farm and eventually they came around.
Rabbi Schneiderman: All right, here's what I'm gonna tell you to do. Read your Bible.
Sheldon: Already did, cover to cover.
Rabbi Schneiderman: Really?
Sheldon: Quiz me.
Rabbi Schneiderman: No, that's okay, I believe you. All right, my advice to you is to stay with the faith of your parents.
Sheldon: What else you got?
Rabbi Schneiderman: Okay. Then I'm gonna tell you to be your own man.
Sheldon: But I want to be a great scientist like Albert Einstein.
Rabbi Schneiderman: Sheldon, when your days are over, God will never ask you, "Why weren't you Einstein?" But he might ask you, "Why weren't you Sheldon?"

Sheldon: Thank you, but I will no longer be needing these.
Ms. Fenley: You're giving up so soon? What happened? Did it hurt your fingers?
Sheldon: No. I'm following the advice of a very wise Rabbi Schneiderman from Temple Judea in Houston.
Ms. Fenley: Is this another one of your jokes?
Sheldon: No. If it were a joke, your mouth would be open and the sound "ha-ha" would be coming out.

Billy Sparks: Hi, Mrs. Cooper!
Mary: [whispers:] Hi, Billy.
Billy Sparks: Are you playing hide-and-seek?
Mary: Um, yeah. Don't tell anybody. Shh.
Billy Sparks: Bye, Mrs. Cooper!