George Sr. Quotes

Quote from the episode Teenager Soup and a Little Ball of Fib

George Sr.: Ooh, is that for your patient?
Mary: Yes. He's still under the weather.
George Sr.: Oh, that's too bad. Running a fever?
Mary: No.
George Sr.: Sniffly nose?
Mary: No. But he couldn't even bring himself to watch his Star Trek show.
George Sr.: Oh, dear. I better go call an ambulance.
Mary: You're not funny.
George Sr.: And he ain't sick.

Quote from the episode Teenager Soup and a Little Ball of Fib

George Sr.: We'll make it quick. Go ahead.
Mary: Your father has something to tell you.
George Sr.: Your mother wants you to swim.
Mary: George!
Sheldon: Mom!

Quote from the episode Teenager Soup and a Little Ball of Fib

George Sr.: Come on, Jesus. This is for your birthday. Help me out.

Quote from the episode Teenager Soup and a Little Ball of Fib

Mary: Boy, Sheldon is really worked up about this whole swimming thing.
George Sr.: Don't you think he should learn for his own safety?
Mary: You really think he's ever gonna go near a body of water?
George Sr.: Yeah. Well, it's only a matter of time before someone throws him in one.

Quote from the episode Teenager Soup and a Little Ball of Fib

Mary: Well, break it to him gently.
George Sr.: Wait. Me?
Mary: Swimming's a sport, and you're a sports person.
George Sr.: And he's a mama's boy, and you're his mama.

Quote from the episode Teenager Soup and a Little Ball of Fib

Mary: How about we do it together?
George Sr.: Fine, but you can't hang me out to dry.
Mary: Of course not.
George Sr.: We're a team. We're in this together, right?
Mary: You bet.
George Sr.: [to the baby Jesus] She's gonna hang me out to dry.

Quote from the episode A Party Invitation, Football Grapes and an Earth Chicken

George Sr.: Your mother won't let me have a TV in my room, so you're not getting one in yours.
George Jr.: Why do you care what Mom says? You're the man of the house, what you say goes.
George Sr.: If you're not gonna take this seriously, I don't know why I'm talking to you.

Quote from the episode A Party Invitation, Football Grapes and an Earth Chicken

George Sr.: [answering phone] Hello?
Dr. John Sturgis: Hello, George. Uh, John Sturgis here.
George Sr.: Oh, hey, how you doing?
Dr. John Sturgis: Well, honestly, it's been a bit of a confusing week, and I was hoping we could schedule some male bonding time.
George Sr.: Oh?
Dr. John Sturgis: Perhaps go to a bar or, uh, take a brisk walk together.
George Sr.: [chuckles] I'm not really a walker.
George Jr.: Well, that's true.

Quote from the episode A Party Invitation, Football Grapes and an Earth Chicken

George Sr.: So they don't want Sheldon at the party, and Sheldon doesn't want to be at the party, but you're making him go to the party.
Mary: I'm sure he'll have a good time when he gets there.
George Sr.: And this isn't just because you made a big fuss, and you're gonna be embarrassed if he doesn't go?
Mary: No.
George Sr.: For a good Christian lady, you sure do lie a lot.

Quote from the episode A Party Invitation, Football Grapes and an Earth Chicken

Mary: And then she said she didn't want the other kids to see Billy hanging out with Sheldon.
George Sr.: That boy's only other friend is a chicken and she's worried about Sheldon?
Mary: What do we do? Tell Missy she can't go?
George Sr.: If we're only gonna let Missy go places where they want to have Sheldon, then she ain't gonna get out much.

Quote from the episode A Party Invitation, Football Grapes and an Earth Chicken

Mary: I just hate that our little boy gets left out.
George Sr.: Me, too, but he should probably get used to it.
Mary: That's a terrible thing to say.
George Sr.: Oh, come on, Mary, the boy's not exactly a social butterfly. In fact, he's scared of butterflies. Besides, it's their house. If they don't want him, there's nothing you can do about it.

Quote from the episode The Sin of Greed and a Chimichanga from Chi-Chi's

George Sr.: Hey! You would not believe the wheelin' and dealin' I did today. I'm playing the high school and the university against each other. Hey, what do you say we go out to dinner?
Meemaw: Chi-Chi's is good.
George Sr.: Ooh, chimichangas.

Quote from the episode The Sin of Greed and a Chimichanga from Chi-Chi's

Sheldon: How was Dr. Sturgis?
George Sr.: He's fine.
Sheldon: What did you two talk about?
George Sr.: I don't know. S-Stuff.
Sheldon: Science stuff?
George Sr.: No. Just regular stuff.
Sheldon: Ooh, I bet he talked about me. What did he say about me?
George Sr.: Sheldon, everything isn't about you. Okay? Go to your room.
Sheldon: Yes, sir.
Mary: What'd y'all talk about?
George Sr.: Sheldon.

Quote from the episode The Sin of Greed and a Chimichanga from Chi-Chi's

George Sr.: So, what's up?
Dr. John Sturgis: Well, Sheldon has been doing extraordinarily well in his college physics class.
George Sr.: I know. He made me put his test up on the fridge, next to Missy's drawing of her hand as a turkey.

Quote from the episode The Sin of Greed and a Chimichanga from Chi-Chi's

Dr. John Sturgis: Anyway, I believe they're willing to, uh, exceed your current salary by a substantial amount.
George Sr.: Is that so?
Dr. John Sturgis: Yes. They thought it would incentivize you.
George Sr.: Well, John, they're not wrong.
Dr. John Sturgis: Excellent! Na zdrowie.
George Sr.: What the hell. Na zdrowie.

Quote from the episode Pongo Pygmaeus and a Culture that Encourages Spitting

George Sr.: Ejected from your very first game. I'm proud of you, slugger.
Missy: Thanks, Dad.
Meemaw: Dairy Queen's on me.
Mary: To be clear, we are not rewarding violence. But I am glad you didn't let those girls from school bully you into quitting.
Missy: I should rub their faces in the dirt.
George Sr.: That's my girl.
Meemaw: Someone's getting extra sprinkles tonight.
George Sr.: Ooh, hooray for violence.

Quote from the episode Pongo Pygmaeus and a Culture that Encourages Spitting

Dale: Well, I-I was married for 18 years and I got to tell you, those were the two best years of my life.
George Sr.: Ah. What's it like, you know, being single at your age?
Dale: Why, you thinking about it?
George Sr.: No, no, everything's fine. Happily married, just, uh, just curious.
Dale: Yeah. Come on, now. She's not here. Well, to answer your question, it's just great. See, I get to wander around my house in my underwear, and I can make whatever bodily noises I choose whenever I choose.
George Sr.: Ah. I do that now.
Dale: Well, then, you got yourself a keeper.

Quote from the episode Pongo Pygmaeus and a Culture that Encourages Spitting

George Sr.: So how'd you wind up coaching baseball?
Dale: Well, with the sporting goods store, you know, I've sponsored a couple of teams, and then this year, my grandson wanted to play, so it lets me spend more time with him.
George Sr.: That's nice. Yeah, I coach my son in football.
Dale: Sheldon?
George Sr.: Oh, God, no. Can you imagine?
Dale: You really scared me there for a second.

Quote from the episode Pongo Pygmaeus and a Culture that Encourages Spitting

George Sr.: Oh, yeah. Connie's great. You can have a beer with her, watch a football game, joke around. She doesn't mind if you swear. In fact, that woman's got a mouth on her.
Dale: I have noticed that.
George Sr.: Yeah. You know, I just realized something. I got more in common with my mother-in-law than I do my own wife.
Dale: That's kind of creepy.
George Sr.: Yeah. Let's hope the beer does its job and I don't remember this tomorrow.

Quote from the episode Pongo Pygmaeus and a Culture that Encourages Spitting

Dale: Well, hey, tell me something about this guy she was seeing.
George Sr.: Mm. The scientist.
Dale: Really? A scientist?
George Sr.: Yeah, not with test tubes; more with arithmetic, thinking and stuff.
Dale: Uh-huh. A physicist.
George Sr.: There you go. Yeah. Nice enough fella. Always reminded me of that cartoon owl in the Tootsie Pop commercials.
Dale: Hmm. Well, why'd they break up?
George Sr.: Uh, you know. You know, things happen.
Dale: Uh-huh. What things?
George Sr.: Eh.
Dale: Come on, now. At least tell me if there's something I need to worry about.
George Sr.: Oh, no. Connie's rock solid. Unless you put on a little weight. Then you will hear about it.