Mary: How are we not qualified for anything?
George Sr.: Well, there were a couple.
Mary: I'm not gonna be night security guard at the junkyard, George. You can.
George Sr.: You know I get sleepy.

Mary: What are you doing home?
George Sr.: I quit my job.
Mary: What? Why?
George Sr.: The school offered it to Wayne. I wasn't gonna sit around waiting to get fired.
Mary: Oh. You doing okay?
George Sr.: No, Mary, not really. We're standing here without jobs in a house we're not done paying for.
Mary: Well, you're still working at Ballard's, right?
George Sr.: That ain't gonna cover the mortgage.
Mary: We've been through tough spots before. We'll figure it out and... I know you don't want to hear it, but I've been praying on this...
George Sr.: You're right. I don't want to hear it.

Mary: Oh, Pastor Rob dropped by.
George Sr.: Why?
Mary: Just seeing how we were doing.
George Sr.: You mean to see how you were doing.
Mary: [sighs] What's that supposed to mean?
George Sr.: Come on, Mary, you... you're not fooling anybody.
Mary: We were just praying.
[Missy is listening to the conversation from the hallway]
George Sr.: Is that what we're calling it?
Mary: Yes, because that's what it was.
George Sr.: All right. I've had enough of this.
Mary: Where are you going? I'm making dinner. [phone ringing]
George Sr.: Yeah, well, maybe Pastor Rob'll eat it. [exits]
Mary: George!

Coach Wilkins: Hey, you heard from George today?
Principal Petersen: George. Cooper? No. You?
Coach Wilkins: No. Hoping that he would join us.
Principal Petersen: Well, he's going through a tough time at home, you got to cut him a little slack.
[George has been seated at their table drinking a beer the whole time]
George Sr.: Are you done?
Principal Petersen: I don't know. What do you think?
Coach Wilkins: I can keep going.
Principal Petersen: Me too. You ever wonder how that Sheldon kid wound up being so smart?
Coach Wilkins: Oh, you mean like was there a genius pizza delivery guy or mailman in the mix?
Principal Petersen: Exactly.
George Sr.: All right, that's enough. And for the record, my grandfather was a brilliant man. Co-invented the traffic cone. Used to be wood, he made it rubber. That's right.

George Sr.: Hey, don't you move. What are you watching?
Missy: MTV.
George Sr.: Watch MTV.
Mary: George.
George Sr.: I'm not punishing her for doing the right thing.
Mary: Violence is never the right thing.
George Sr.: I'm sorry, are we in California?
Mary: Ugh!
[As Mary leaves, George turns to look at the music video playing on the TV]
George Sr.: Turn that off.

Pastor Jeff: So, shall we get to the business at hand?
Mary: Obviously, we're... mortified by Missy's behavior.
George Sr.: Even though it sounds like that punk had it coming.
Pastor Jeff: While his words were out of line, it brings us to the bigger issue, which is... people are talking about Georgie.
George Sr.: Bunch of holy rollers with no lives.

Pastor Jeff: Pastor Rob should be here any minute.
George Sr.: Maybe if he was in the classroom when he was supposed to be, none of this would've happened.
Mary: You can't blame him for Missy punching someone.
George Sr.: If he was there to shut that kid up, Missy wouldn't have had to.
Pastor Jeff: Sunday school is no place for violence. The boy's parents are very upset.
George Sr.: Yeah, well so am I.

George Sr.: Hold on. Are you firing her?
Pastor Jeff: No, no, just a little leave of absence till things settle down.
Pastor Rob: Is that really necessary?
Pastor Jeff: I believe it is. As leaders of this church, we are held to a higher standard.
Mary: Are you asking us to leave the church?
Pastor Jeff: Of course not.
George Sr.: Y'all talk a big game about community, and then you just turn your back when things get a little messy.
Pastor Rob: Okay, let's just take a breath.
George Sr.: You do that. We're leaving. Come on, Mary.
Pastor Jeff: George, let's talk this through.
George Sr.: I've heard enough. I'll be in the truck. [exits]

Mary: Hey, what did Wayne say when you told him?
George Sr.: He loves babies, so he was all, "It's a blessing." Blah, blah, blah.
Mary: Well, he's not wrong.
George Sr.: Why am I friends with him? You should be.

George Sr.: How'd Pastor Jeff take it?
Mary: I didn't tell him. I told Pastor Rob.
George Sr.: Of course.
Mary: What's that mean?
George Sr.: Nothing.
Mary: What?
George Sr.: Just seems like you talk to Pastor Rob a lot.
Mary: [scoffs; chuckles] Well, we work together. You talk to Wayne.
George Sr.: Sure. And what did Pastor Rob say?
Mary: Actually, it was helpful. He pointed out that I was putting people before God and that I shouldn't worry about what the congregation thinks.
George Sr.: So, exactly what I said.
Mary: All you said was, "Who cares?"
George Sr.: Next time, I'll stick God in there so you pay attention.

Coach Wilkins: Are you okay?
George Sr.: Oh, jim-dandy.
Coach Wilkins: Is this one of those times where you say you don't want to talk about it, and then you make me go to the bar, and then you talk about it?
George Sr.: No.
Coach Wilkins: All right.
[cut to George and Coach Wilkins at a bar:]
George Sr.: I'm gonna tell you something.
Coach Wilkins: Lay it on me.
George Sr.: This is serious. You can't tell anyone.
Coach Wilkins: Okay.
George Sr.: Georgie got a girl pregnant.
Coach Wilkins: Wow. Oh. Congratulations?
George Sr.: On having a dope for a son? Thanks.
Coach Wilkins: Forgive me if I'm mistaken, but weren't you a similar kind of dope with Mary?
George Sr.: It's different. Georgie's, like, 11 years younger than this girl.
Coach Wilkins: That is different. [to the bartender] We're gonna need a couple shots over here.

Missy: I'm gonna be an aunt. That's so weird.
Sheldon: Not as weird as Uncle Sheldon.
George Sr.: [chuckles] Yeah, well, we're gonna be grandparents.
Mary: And Meemaw's gonna be a great-grandmother.
Missy: That sounds so old.
George Sr.: Please tell her that.

George Sr.: Do I really need to be here for this?
Mary: Yes.
George Sr.: Double fudge.

George Sr.: I guess we don't even know your last name.
Mandy: McAllister.
George Sr.: Scottish, right?
Mandy: Right.
George Sr.: 'Cause if it was Irish, it'd be O'McAllister.

George Sr.: [scoffs] I don't see why I got to wear a tie.
Mary: Because we want to make a good impression.
George Sr.: She already met this bozo, aren't we past that?

George Sr.: What?
Missy: Nothing. ... I love you.
George Sr.: Okay.
Sheldon: In case it's not apparent, she was speaking for both of us.
George Sr.: Okay.

George Sr.: So, Mandy, what do you do?
Mandy: Right now I'm just waiting tables.
George Sr.: Well, people need to eat.
Mandy: Mm-hmm.
George Sr.: Mm-hmm. You know what I enjoy? That T-G-I-F Friday. They got a whole menu page, just appetizers.

George Sr.: Kind of déjà vu, huh?
Mary: Kind of. I wanna be furious at him, but how can I?
George Sr.: The trick is to forget we did the same thing, then it's easy.
Mary: At the time, it seemed like our lives were over, but... then Georgie was born.
George Sr.: With that crazy head of hair.
Mary: [laughs] And just like that... it was the best thing that could have happened to us.
George Sr.: What kind of cigarette are you smoking there?

George Sr.: She's not gonna marry him.
George Jr.: What's wrong with me?
George Sr.: You're an idiot. You're irresponsible. You live in a garage and use a sink as a toilet! Care to jump in?

Mary: You're gonna have to introduce us to this girl.
George Jr.: Why?
George Sr.: 'Cause she's having our grandbaby, you dumb son of a bitch.
Mary: George! But what he said.
George Jr.: I'll ask her, but she's not very happy with me right now.
George Sr.: Yeah, I like her already.