Adult Sheldon: For the spice rub, Meemaw had him drive to New Orleans to buy ground coffee from Cafe Du Monde, and seven ounces of something called "holy ghost root" from a voodoo woman named Madam Laveau.

Adult Sheldon: Finally, the cooking began. 14 hours of cooking. And basting. And spritzing. And tending to the fire.
George Sr.: Oh Rest, my darling. Rest.

Adult Sheldon: My plan was coming together. I just needed to get on the shuttle so I could finally escape this ridiculous planet. Spoiler alert, I'm still here.

Adult Sheldon: Money is a frequent source of conflict in a relationship.
Amy: Thankfully that's never been a problem for us.
Adult Sheldon: Says the woman who took away my comic book allowance.
Amy: Uh, to start a college fund for our children.
Adult Sheldon: Comic books are an investment.
Amy: There are better places to invest our money than that weird wolf man you like.
Adult Sheldon: His name is Wolverine and you know it.
Amy: Okay we're off on a tangent. I'm taking over. Money can be a source of conflict in a relationship, even having too much.
Adult Sheldon: Wh... Hey, this is my story.
Amy: I know. Jealous?

Adult Sheldon: Don't let the hug fool you. The minute she went home, he made me give him the recipe.

Adult Sheldon: Of all the afflictions that can befall a child, one reigns supreme. Beyond scraped knees and paper cuts, nothing strikes fear into the hearts of kids around the world like a splinter.

Adult Sheldon: And what about Count Chocula? How is he a count? Did the title come with land?

Adult Sheldon: Then back home, he applied the spice rub with such erotic tenderness, it made my mother a little jealous.

Adult Sheldon: In any ecosystem, you'll find a delicate balance between predator and prey.
Some well-known predators include Panthera leo, Ursus arctos, and star of the 1987 film Predator, Predator. Now, examples of prey include Oryctolagus cuniculus, Gallus gallus domesticus, and weighing in at 58 pounds soaking wet, Diminutive homo novus Curiously, a close relative of Gallus gallus domesticus.

Adult Sheldon: I've often contemplated what might have happened if my father hadn't stuck up for me that day. Would I have gone on to become a world-class theoretical physicist, or just your average Joe Sixpack theoretical physicist?

Adult Sheldon: Despite what it looks like, I didn't pray to God that night. I prayed to Blaise Pascal. My thinking was, if he was right about the existence of God, then he could pass along my request for my dad to get better. If he was wrong - well in this moment, I needed him to be right.

Adult Sheldon: To say this first day was challenging would be an understatement. To say the rest of the week got better from there would be the kind of lie that sets pants on fire.

Adult Sheldon: I've always enjoyed math word problems. Try wrapping your noggin around this one. A brilliant young boy named Sheldon is about to start college. He needs to get from his linear algebra class to his physics class, which is 822 meters away. If his stride is 23 inches long and he only has 10 minutes, how many steps would he have to take per minute to make it on time? It's a doozy, isn't it? Don't worry. I'll show my work. First, we must determine the maximum velocity achievable without breaking a sweat. Sweating is for jocks and those who are worried the jig is up.

Adult Sheldon: The good news was most of our neighborhood was spared. The bad news: my mother thought she had something to do with it.

George Jr.: Looks like rain.
Adult Sheldon: My brother, on the other hand, didn't have to pretend.

Adult Sheldon: The addition of Libby brought a level of sophistication to our lunchtime discussion.
Her mom also packed extra string cheese, which is a well-known social lubricant.

Adult Sheldon: My meemaw wrote...
Meemaw: "To my brave Moon Pie. You handled this like a true Texan".
Adult Sheldon: My mom wrote...
Mary: [v.o.] "Shelly, you'll always be my baby, but I'm so proud of the young man you've become. Love, Mom".
Adult Sheldon: And Billy wrote...
Billy Sparks: "Billy".

Adult Sheldon: It should come as no surprise that the very first grade I ever received was a "super-duper." Granted it was for counting spots on a ladybug, but still, I nailed it. Even as the difficulty of assignments grew, I maintained the same level of excellence. In every class, in every subject, I was perfect. Which is why this day hit me like a ton of bricks.

Adult Sheldon: It turned out Gary did appreciate my honesty. The school got a generous donation.
President Hagemeyer: My, my, my. That is a lot of zeroes.
Adult Sheldon: My father got Oilers tickets from President Hagemeyer.
George Sr.: 50-yard line and free parking? Hoo-mama.
Adult Sheldon: And I got a brand-new, state-of-the-art antistatic lab chair.
Sheldon: It works.

Adult Sheldon: Conventional wisdom tells us that when one stands up to a bully, the bully will inevitably back down and respect you for your courage. My experience suggests otherwise. When Jason finally caught me, he had the good sense not to commit assault and battery.
This did not, however, prevent him from imprisoning me in his locker.
That was a very long night. Very long.