Adult Sheldon Quotes

Quote from the episode Pilot

Adult Sheldon: That was the first time I held my father's hand. I wouldn't touch my brother's hand until seventeen years later, thanks to the invention of Purell.

Quote from the episode Pilot

Adult Sheldon: Jane Goodall had to go to Africa to study apes. I just had to go to dinner.

Quote from the episode Cape Canaveral, Schrodinger's Cat, and Cyndi Lauper's Hair

Adult Sheldon: I didn't realize until years later that my father was only asking questions about lightning and thunder to cheer me up. In fact, he would often pretend to be dumb just to make me feel better.

Quote from the episode Pilot

Adult Sheldon: I've always loved trains. In fact, if my career in theoretical physics hadn't worked out, my backup plan was to become a professional ticket taker. Or hobo.

Quote from the episode Cape Canaveral, Schrodinger's Cat, and Cyndi Lauper's Hair

Adult Sheldon: I never did get to see a launch in person, but that was the best trip I ever had. I wish I had told my father while he was alive.

Quote from the episode Potato Salad, a Broomstick, and Dad's Whiskey

Adult Sheldon: In 1989 the Milton Bradley Company had dozens of board games on the market, but only one where you were the doctor. Operation came complete with a red light-up nose, 13 plastic body parts for players to remove and, most importantly, one pair of genuine tweezers. My sister performed a medical procedure using a children's board game, while I bravely sat very still. I guess you could say there were two heroes that day.

Quote from the episode Poker, Faith, and Eggs

Adult Sheldon: I've often been asked why I never learned to drive a car. This night is your answer.

Quote from the episode A Therapist, a Comic Book, and a Breakfast Sausage

Adult Sheldon: Just like that, I overcame my fear of choking. All that was left was my fear of dogs, birds, insects, germs, hugging, button fly pants, rivers, ponds, lakes, oceans, estuaries, corduroy, root vegetables, squeaky balloons, tinted windows, take a penny, leave a penny, fireworks, potbelly stoves, dust bunnies, that fuzz on peaches.

Quote from the episode Spock, Kirk, and Testicular Hernia

Adult Sheldon: Despite my explanation that I was embracing my inner Kirk, my mother had me make amends for all my misdeeds. Starting in the library, where I had to reshelve hundreds of books. Well, to be honest, that one was a hoot.

Quote from the episode Spock, Kirk, and Testicular Hernia

Adult Sheldon: The amends got worse when Coach Wilkins made me climb the rope. Lacking any upper body strength, I hung there like a salami in a deli window.

Quote from the episode Dolomite, Apple Slices, and a Mystery Woman

Adult Sheldon: Anger is an ugly emotion. Unbridled rage even more so. And when it bubbled up inside me, I channeled it the only way I knew how. I cleaned the house like a man possessed.

Quote from the episode An Eagle Feather, a String Bean, and an Eskimo

Adult Sheldon: As you can see, even as a small child, people cherished having me around and wept over my absence.

Quote from the episode Dolomite, Apple Slices, and a Mystery Woman

Adult Sheldon: As you can see, sometimes a person can be both incredibly intelligent and full of baloney.

Quote from the episode Demons, Sunday School, and Prime Numbers

Adult Sheldon: My mother didn't believe in elves, fairies, or dragons. But she did believe in the devil. And she did not view him as an appropriate playmate for her son.

Quote from the episode A Patch, a Modem, and a Zantac

Adult Sheldon: People often wonder why I chose to pursue a career in theoretical physics. I usually respond by saying I wanted to unravel the inner workings of the universe. But the real answer was I wanted to prove this nincompoop wrong.

Quote from the episode Jiu-jitsu, Bubble Wrap, and Yoo-hoo

Adult Sheldon: The perilous journey from the bus stop to my front door was 97.5 meters. FYI, insisting on using the metric system in East Texas is another reason I was hunted by predators.

Quote from the episode A Patch, a Modem, and a Zantac

George Sr.: Damn it. I've had enough of this. Sheldon, get up.
Sheldon: What's the point?
George Sr.: We're going to Houston.
Sheldon: Really?
George Sr.: Yeah. You and me are gonna give those space monkeys a little talkin' to.
Adult Sheldon: I often found my father to be a strange and puzzling man, but at that moment, I never loved him more.

Quote from the episode Vanilla Ice Cream, Gentlemen Callers, and a Dinette Set

Adult Sheldon: In that moment, I had an epiphany. I could draw up a contract for any social relationship. It was a helpful way to remove ambiguity in a world that was often hard to understand. Article three Sheldon will not spy on Meemaw's house with binoculars.

Quote from the episode Vanilla Ice Cream, Gentlemen Callers, and a Dinette Set

Adult Sheldon: I would go on to draw up such contracts throughout my life With roommates, with my wife. Even with my own children.

Quote from the episode Jiu-jitsu, Bubble Wrap, and Yoo-hoo

Adult Sheldon: Existing in a world of predators isn't easy, but we prey have developed several natural defenses to help us survive. There's playing dead, warning calls, camouflage, and, last but certainly not least, good old-fashioned running away. A little screaming never hurts either.