George Sr. Quotes

Quote from the episode A Therapist, a Comic Book, and a Breakfast Sausage

George Sr.: And Sheldon's fine. You know what he's like. If someone took him, I'm sure they'll bring him right back.

Quote from the episode Pilot

George Sr.: What the hell were you doing out there?
Mary: George, language.
George Sr.: What language?

Quote from the episode An Eagle Feather, a String Bean, and an Eskimo

Mary: All right, let's say grace.
George Jr.: [SNIFFLES] Guess I get to hold hands with you now.
George Sr.: Guess so. Maybe Sheldon's mittens weren't such a bad idea.

Quote from the episode A Solar Calculator, a Game Ball, and a Cheerleader's Bosom

Mary: I hope that doesn't wake up the kids.
George Sr.: Should I go over there and say something?
Mary: I think you should.
George Sr.: I was bluffin'. Don't make me put my socks back on.

Quote from the episode Demons, Sunday School, and Prime Numbers

Mary: I'm worried. There are incantations in this book to summon actual demons.
George Sr.: Is that how we wound up with you?
Meemaw: That's a good one. I'm gonna give you that.
Mary: This is not a joke. This is one of the children's games we were warned about in church.
Meemaw: Then tell him to stop playing.
Mary: It's not that easy. He's finally got a couple of friends. I don't want to scare them off.
George Sr.: Well, when you're ready to scare kids, you got this face locked and loaded.
Meemaw: All right, the other one was funny, now you're just being a jackass.

Quote from the episode Demons, Sunday School, and Prime Numbers

Mary: Anyway, I'm sorry to drag you into this, but it is demons, so it's in your purview.
Pastor Jeff: It is indeed. In fact, at a recent Young Baptist Leaders Conference, I attended a seminar on satanic leisure activities.
Mary: And?
Pastor Jeff: And the important lesson is, rather than have a parent or authority figure take the offending game away, let God remove it, root and stem.
Meemaw: Question, PJ. Uh, how's the big guy do that?
Pastor Jeff: Simple, Sheldon needs to start attending Sunday school. If he likes books with demons and devils, I've got one that will blow his mind.
George Sr.: What book is that?
Mary: The Bible, George.
George Sr.: Sure, yeah.

Quote from the episode Cape Canaveral, Schrodinger's Cat, and Cyndi Lauper's Hair

Mary: You're a good dad.
George Sr.: If I don't kill one of them before Sunday, I'm a good dad.

Quote from the episode Potato Salad, a Broomstick, and Dad's Whiskey

George Sr.: How about this? Go ahead and take the job. Yeah, if it turns out Sheldon and Missy can't look out for themselves for a couple hours after school, then well, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.
Mary: Are you sure about this?
George Sr.: Yeah. Actually, probably good for 'em. Teach 'em a little responsibility.
Mary: That's exactly what my mom said.
George Sr.: Really? Well, I still like the idea.

Quote from the episode A Solar Calculator, a Game Ball, and a Cheerleader's Bosom

George Sr.: Remind me to tell you about the tax refund I got from the IRS.

Quote from the episode A Solar Calculator, a Game Ball, and a Cheerleader's Bosom

George Sr.: It's solar-powered. Can you imagine that?