Paige: Don't worry. I'll ask her. Ever since my parents got divorced, people can't say no to me.
[cut to:]
Paige: My mom promised she would take me to the mall to get me a new backpack, but she was so busy cleaning my dad's stuff out of the garage that I think she forgot.
Mary: Oh. Of course I can take you. Anything you need.
Paige: Thank you, Mrs. Cooper.
Missy: [quietly] Will you marry me?

Sheldon: 'You're so smart. Why are you acting like this?
Paige: Maybe I don't want to be smart.
Sheldon: I have to sit down.
Paige: Being smart sucks. It's the reason we moved here from Arkansas, a-and my parents never yelled at each other before that. It's just better to be normal.
Missy: It works for me. But I also have good cheekbones.

Missy: "Hi, God. It's Missy Cooper. I know my mom talked to you about me the other day, and she's, like, your biggest fan."
Dale: Hey, what's going on? What, did you fall asleep?
Missy: Sorry, I was praying.
Dale: Oh, my apologies.
Missy: "Anyway, I could really use your help getting a hit. Amen." Okay.
Dale: Are we good?
Missy: I don't know. We'll find out.

Missy: I just want the same trophy everyone else gets.
Mary: But I want you to feel special.
Missy: And I just want to feel regular.
Mary: Okay. [sighs] Well... I'll make sure you get a regular one at the party.
Missy: Thank you. Mom, wait. I get what you were trying to do. It's nice.

Missy: Can I keep that one, too?
Mary: You really want it?
Missy: I do.
Adult Sheldon: Despite her many flaws, my sister did have a soft spot in her heart. And a fondness for blowing things up.
Mary: What was that?!

Missy: Being a mom's hard, isn't it?
Mary: Sometimes.
Missy: If you ever want to talk about it, I'm here for you. Ooh, it's moving again.

Missy: I was listening to that.
George Sr.: Thought you might want to talk.
Missy: That's why the door was shut and the music was loud... 'cause I want to talk.
George Sr.: Okay. Okay. [clears throat] If this is about a boy, I know it feels like the end of the world, but I promise you're gonna have other boyfriends.
Missy: I don't want other boyfriends. I want Marcus.
George Sr.: Well, you feel that way now, but you're only 11.
Missy: So my feelings don't matter?
George Sr.: Uh... Hey, how about we go get some ice cream?
Missy: I'm not a child.
George Sr.: Just trying to help.
Missy: Leave me alone!
[As Missy turns over and puts her head under a pillow, George stands up and turns Missy's boombox back on]

Mary: Anyway, Pastor Jeff is hoping to bring in someone from the outside to help.
Missy: Oh, and you're jealous 'cause you think you can do it better.
Mary: No. I'm sure whoever we get will do a wonderful job.
Missy: She's jealous.
Sheldon: You know it's bad when I can see it.

George Jr.: Why are you watching The Ten Commandments?
Missy: I've just been thinking about God.
George Jr.: Why?
Missy: I don't understand how a God that's supposed to be good lets such bad things happen.
George Jr.: Oh. Hmm. Can you think about it while I watch Yo! MTV Raps?
Missy: Sure.
George Jr.: Dope.

Missy: And then Pastor Rob said it doesn't matter if I believe in God 'cause God believes in me.
Mary: I said the same thing.
Missy: Not like he did.

George Sr.: Everything okay?
Missy: No.
George Sr.: What's wrong?
Missy: Everyone's parents are upset about the sex talk Mom wants to give, and all my friends are all blaming me.
George Sr.: What? This wasn't your fault.
Missy: That didn't stop Marjorie Jones from taking my seat at the lunch table, and I also got uninvited from two birthday parties.
Sheldon: That's silly. All you did was ask questions.
Missy: And it's ruining my life. I'm never talking about sex ever again.
George Sr.: Well, all right.

Missy: Wait, he has a room here and at school?
George Sr.: Well, it's just for downtime in between classes.
Missy: [sighs] Why is his life constantly better than mine?
Sheldon: That's a question you should get used to asking.
Mary: Don't be rude. And you have a very nice life.
Missy: Yeah, yeah, loving parents, blah, blah, blah.

Missy: [answers phone] Hello? Sheldon, it's for you.
Sheldon: Who is it?
Missy: Who is it? Travis.
George Sr.: Who's Travis?
Missy: Who are you? Friend of Sheldon's.
George Sr.: Really?
Missy: Really?

Missy: How long are we supposed to sit here?
Sheldon: I don't know. She said don't move. She was very clear.
Missy: Hope I don't have to go to the bathroom.

Missy: Ow. Ow. Is there a way to do this so it doesn't hurt?
Paige: No. Beauty is pain.
Missy: Boy George must really suffer.
Sheldon: Missy, I need a moment with Paige.
Missy: Make it quick. I'm only half-beautiful.

Mary: Hey, how has Billy been lately?
Missy: I don't know.
Mary: Aren't you friends?
Missy: We're like "head nod in the hallway" friends.
Mary: What's that?
Missy: You see someone in the hallway, you give 'em one of these. [nods head]