Missy: Wait till you hear what I did to Meemaw.

Missy: Found 'em.
Sheldon: The tweezers?
Missy: Mom's needles and her magnifying glass.
Sheldon: Absolutely not.
Missy: Let me at least try.
Sheldon: No.
Missy: You're being a baby.
Sheldon: Nothing you can say will change my mind.
Missy: What if it gets infected and turns green and they have to cut it off?

Mary: Is Georgie here?
George Sr.: No, I think he's still at work.
Mary: Do you know that that Laundromat is just a front for gambling?
Missy: Cool.
Mary: Missy Cooper, that was not for your ears. Go to your room.

Missy: I don't want to die. I've only kissed one boy so far.
Mary: What?
Missy: Relax. It was a long time ago.
George Sr.: Are you relaxed?

Mary: So, kids, we have a little family business to discuss.
Missy: You're pregnant?
Mary: No.
Missy: We're getting a puppy?
George Sr.: No.
Missy: I'm not sure I care.

Missy: How can you remember this stupid information, but not the stuff on your test?
Sheldon: You tell me, they're your yips.
Missy: Sheldon, if I knew how to make it stop, I would tell you.
Sheldon: You better.
Missy: Maybe it's puberty making you all emotional.
Sheldon: I checked my armpits... Smooth as balloons. [Missy groans]

George Sr.: So those are the Clampetts, and they moved from the backwoods to Beverly Hills.
Missy: Oh, in 90210 the Walshes moved from Minnesota.
George Sr.: They have a hard time fitting in with those California snobs?
Missy: Oh, yeah.
George Sr.: These guys do, too.
Missy: It's practically the same show.

Mary: I have something fun for us to do on Saturday night.
Missy: Ooh, what?
Mary: The church is thinking...
Missy: No.
Sheldon: Ugh.
Mary: Hold on. We're gonna do an overnight lock-in with pizza and games and movies.
Missy: Boys and girls?
Mary: Yes.
Missy: I got to find cute pajamas.

Mary: What are you girls reading?
Missy: Christian Teen. It's such a good one.
Mary: Oh.
[Mary takes the magazine off Missy and finds another magazine, Sassy, inside it]
Mary: Really, girls?
Missy: How'd you know?
Mary: Because I am your mother and I know everything. [returns Christian Teen. You can keep this one.
[After Missy discards the Christian magazine, she notices Sheldon watching her and smiling. He quickly looks away.]

Missy: So, I said 70 cents for one or two for a dollar, and everyone bought two.
George Jr.: People love a deal.
Missy: I know. I sold out.
George Jr.: Then you got to start charging more.
Missy: How much more?
George Jr.: Just raise the price a little at a time until you see your profits top out.
Missy: I'm learning, but it's fun. This is weird.

Sheldon: Hello.
Missy: What's that for?
Sheldon: Oh, this? I was just digging for money in Meemaw's backyard.
Missy: There's money there?
Sheldon: Oh, yes. I already found 75 cents.
Missy: Who do you think left it?
Sheldon: If I were to guess, I'd say pirates with holes in their pockets.
Missy: Can I use your shovel?
Sheldon: Be my guest.
Missy: Oh, baby, I'm gonna be rich.

George Sr.: Boy, I am stuffed.
Missy: You know, if you're too full to drive, I could help.
George Sr.: You're not driving my truck.
Missy: Come on. Just here in the parking lot?
George Sr.: No.
Missy: Please, Daddy?
George Sr.: I know what you're doing.
Missy: Creating memories that'll last a lifetime?

Mary: Now, come on, let's tuck you in.
Missy: I'm glad I don't have orange hair.
Mary: Me, too, baby.
Missy: I want to be more like Madonna.
Mary: Are you trying to kill me? 'Cause if you are, good job.
Missy: Why is she only like a virgin?
Mary: Good night!

Adult Sheldon: Grandmas love to spoil their grandchildren. Especially when the grandma has a suitcase full of cash she doesn't know what to do with.
Missy: Whoa.
Sheldon: Oh, my. Did you mean to give us ten dollar bills? Because these are hundreds.
Missy: I'm gonna kick your ass.
Meemaw: I know it's a lot, but why not see you enjoy it while I'm still around?
Missy: Ooh, there's an inheritance, too?
Meemaw: Well, depends on how you treat me in my golden years.
Sheldon: I'm not interested in your money, Meemaw.
Missy: You're pretty and I love you.
Meemaw: Now, don't you have something to say to me?
Sheldon: Thank you.
Missy: I'm rich.

Missy: My head is so hot!
Meemaw: She is such a hoot.

Missy: Here you go. There's an article about what your lip gloss flavor says about you. I'm sweet and fun like a strawberry.
Sheldon: I don't care.

Sheldon: How come Georgie's not going?
Mary: He's grounded for eavesdropping on me and your father.
Missy: Well, I hope he learned his lesson.

Missy: Do you think Pastor Jeff will let me babysit for him?
Mary: I don't know. Their baby isn't even a year old yet.
Missy: Heather M. got ten bucks, and all she did was watch MTV while her cousin slept. [scoffs] What a scam.
Mary: It's not always that easy.
Missy: They lay there like a lump. How hard can it be? [Mary sighs] Will you please just ask Pastor Jeff?
Mary: I... I don't think you're gonna like it.
Missy: You don't think I'm responsible enough.
Mary: All I said was I don't think you're gonna like it.
Missy: I don't like homework, but I do it.
Mary: I have seen your homework. Is that how you're gonna take care of a baby?
Missy: Math is harder than babies.

Missy: You awake?
Sheldon: Yes.
Missy: Are you gonna miss me?
Sheldon: I haven't given it any thought.
Missy: Well, we're just lying here. Think about it.
Sheldon: I am used to you.
Missy: I'm used to you, too.
Sheldon: It's not the same as liking you.
Missy: No.
Sheldon: To me, you're like string beans. No one asks for them, no one wonders about them. They're just there on the plate.
Missy: But you eat them, right?
Sheldon: Yes.
Missy: You're gonna miss me.

Missy: Meemaw picked me up in her new car.
Meemaw: We drove with the top down. A truck driver honked at us. [chuckles]
Missy: It was awesome.
Meemaw: See? Missy loves my car. I don't know what Dale's problem is.
Missy: You're too good for him anyway.
Mary: Should she really be hearing about all this?
Missy: Mom, she just got dumped. It's what you do. Ooh, is any of his stuff at your house? Let's set it on fire.
Mary: Don't you have homework?
Missy: My grandma's hurting. She needs me.
Mary: Go.