Mary: What are you girls reading?
Missy: Christian Teen. It's such a good one.
Mary: Oh.
[Mary takes the magazine off Missy and finds another magazine, Sassy, inside it]
Mary: Really, girls?
Missy: How'd you know?
Mary: Because I am your mother and I know everything. [returns Christian Teen. You can keep this one.
[After Missy discards the Christian magazine, she notices Sheldon watching her and smiling. He quickly looks away.]

Missy: Eat dirt. Eat it.
Meemaw: Kick his ass!
Missy: Does it taste good? Huh?
Dale: Yeah, listen to your meemaw. Kick his ass!
Missy: You gonna cry? Huh? Do it. Cry.
Mary: Do something. Break it up.
George Sr.: H-Hang on. She's winning.
Mary: Missy! Missy Cooper, you stop beating up that boy!
Meemaw: Punch him in the nuts!

Missy: Someone's Underoos are in a knot.
Sheldon: My Underoos are fitting just fine, thank you.
Missy: Then why is there a stick up your butt?
Sheldon: Stop making inquiries about my bottom.
Missy: But I enjoy it.

[Sheldon sits on the top of the couch with his feet on the cushion]
Missy: What are you doing?
Sheldon: I'm practicing the philosophy of cynicism... The ancient Greek view that the rules of society should be ignored.
Missy: If you're gonna break rules, you can do better than that.
Sheldon: How?
[Missy pushes Sheldon off the couch]

Billy Sparks: I've seen this before. They're big now, but they're gonna get small.
Missy: Yeah. It's called Honey, I Shrunk the Kids.
Billy Sparks: [whispers] If you get scared, I'm here.
Missy: Terrific.

Sheldon: Wil Wheaton plays Wesley Crusher. He's a child prodigy who's very young to be on the bridge of a Galaxy-class starship.
Missy: Okay.
Sheldon: But he's so intelligent that most people come to rely on him.
Missy: Okay.
Sheldon: Sounds kind of familiar, huh?
Missy: Okay.

George Jr.: You know one of the best things about working here? I always smell like dryer sheets.
Mandy: Is that a good thing?
George Jr.: Compared to how I used to smell, yeah.