Sheldon: I've been thinking, and there's something I'd like to say.
George Sr.: Unless it's an apology, I don't want to hear it.
Sheldon: I'm quitting science.
Missy: Not an apology. Spank him, Dad.

Adult Sheldon: When children reach adolescence, a cascade of hormones are released... causing mood swings, impulsive behavior and an unbelievable amount of eye rolling.
George Sr.: [cheers] I knew it. [Missy rolls her eyes]
Adult Sheldon: During this time of change, members of the opposite sex who caught my sister's fancy included: New Kids on the Block, Rufio from the movie Hook, and, oddly enough, our new Sunday school teacher, Pastor Rob.
Missy: Was Mary Magdalene Jesus's girlfriend?
Pastor Rob: No, just one of his followers. Yeah, Jesus didn't have a girlfriend.
Missy: Do you have a girlfriend?
Pastor Rob: No. No, I don't.
Billy Sparks: I don't have a girlfriend either.
Pastor Rob: All right. You and me, Billy, couple of bachelors.

Meemaw: Okay, who's excited?
George Jr.: I don't want to see Sheldon's stupid play, it's humiliating.
Missy: That's why I want to see it.

Mary: What's all this?
Sheldon: An extra layer of protection.
Meemaw: Protection from what?
Mary: Sweetie, is someone bothering you?
Sheldon: Yes.
Mary: Who is it?
Sheldon: I'd rather not talk about it.
Mary: No, I want a name right now.
George Sr.: Mary.
Mary: Have you been hurting him?
Missy: Only with my words.

George Sr.: There you go.
Missy: Okay, these posters go on that wall. That poster goes over the bed.
George Sr.: [scoffs] I'm not your moving man.
Missy: You're right, I'm growing up. Guess I can't be Daddy's little girl forever. [pouts]
George Sr.: Which one goes over the bed?
Missy: Um, "New Kids".

Sheldon: Missy, I could really use your help.
Missy: With what?
Sheldon: I'm being bullied by Bobbi Sparks.
Missy: Hilarious. Go on.

Missy: [sighs] What do I have to do to get this over with?
Sheldon: We just need to agree upon who gets which items.
Missy: Fine. As my farewell gift to you, let's do your dumb thing.
Sheldon: See, when you're mean and nice at the same time, it's confusing.
Missy: Too bad, doofus.
Sheldon: Better, thank you.

Missy: Pay to live here? We don't even have a pool.

Missy: Boys are dumb.
Meemaw: D-U-M-B.
Missy: Dum-b?

Missy: Not a problem if I marry a rich guy.
Mary: You should marry someone for love.
Sheldon: You married Dad for love and there's a lot of bickering.
Missy: That's not true.
Mary: Thank you.
Missy: She married him 'cause she was pregnant.
Mary: I can finish these up on my own.
Missy: Good, I have a date with Fresh Prince, who by the way is so rich.

Missy: I'm going to Pastor Jeff's.
Mary: Oh, uh, okay. Good luck. Call if you need anything.
Missy: Yeah.
Mary: You know, I was thinking, if you want, you could bring the baby here. That could be fun.
Missy: To a house that isn't babyproofed? That seems irresponsible. [walks off]
Mary: Uh-huh.

Missy: I think Pastor Jeff and Mrs. Sparks might be talking about Billy.
Mary: What's going on with Billy?
Missy: He's been getting in trouble at school.
Mary: How is that fun?
Missy: It's gossip. Gossip's fun.
Mary: [sighs] Poor thing. Brenda did say he was having trouble adjusting. Maybe I should see if she's doing okay later.
George Sr.: Great idea. [to Missy] I'm not walking, good job.

Missy: I came this close to having my own room.

George Sr.: The trick is not to make eye contact.
Missy: Tell him.

Mary: You see Sheldon?
Missy: [points ]That way.
George Sr.: What's going on?
Mary: He's having some sort of panic attack.
Missy: [chuckles] Oh, man. My story just keeps getting better.

Sheldon: Is Mom okay?
George Sr.: How the heck should I know?
Missy: She left. You can say "hell."

Mary: Why don't you kids go in the kitchen and fix yourselves some ice cream?
Missy: I'm not going anywhere.

[Sheldon humming]
Missy: What are you doing?
Sheldon: The sound from the refrigerator. It's right between D and D-sharp. Ugh! It's making my skin crawl.
Missy: What if I hold a pillow over your face for, like, a really long time?
Sheldon: No, that's dangerous. Do you know if we have earplugs?
Missy: If we did, I'd be wearing them. Go to sleep.

George Jr.: You have no idea how much it sucks to have a brother like him. Believe it or not, he's in my class.
Erica: My parents sent Paige to a private school.
Missy: Cool. We're too poor for that.

George Jr.: What grade are you in?
Erica: Eighth. You?
George Jr.: Tenth.
Erica: Cool.
Missy: Nobody asked, but fourth.