Sheldon: Hello.
Missy: What's that for?
Sheldon: Oh, this? I was just digging for money in Meemaw's backyard.
Missy: There's money there?
Sheldon: Oh, yes. I already found 75 cents.
Missy: Who do you think left it?
Sheldon: If I were to guess, I'd say pirates with holes in their pockets.
Missy: Can I use your shovel?
Sheldon: Be my guest.
Missy: Oh, baby, I'm gonna be rich.

Mary: Bless us, Lord, for the food we are about to receive and bless the hands that prepared it.
Missy: And bless Mom.
Mary: Thank you. Amen.
Missy: Amen.
George Jr.: Amen.
Sheldon: She's the hands that prepared it. Your blessing is redundant.
Mary: Let's eat.

Missy: Eat dirt. Eat it.
Meemaw: Kick his ass!
Missy: Does it taste good? Huh?
Dale: Yeah, listen to your meemaw. Kick his ass!
Missy: You gonna cry? Huh? Do it. Cry.
Mary: Do something. Break it up.
George Sr.: H-Hang on. She's winning.
Mary: Missy! Missy Cooper, you stop beating up that boy!
Meemaw: Punch him in the nuts!

Missy: Someone's Underoos are in a knot.
Sheldon: My Underoos are fitting just fine, thank you.
Missy: Then why is there a stick up your butt?
Sheldon: Stop making inquiries about my bottom.
Missy: But I enjoy it.

Sheldon: Do you think a Spock could become a Kirk?
Meemaw: Well, in my experience, most people stay the miserable bastards they are their whole entire life. But I have seen some folks change.

Adult Sheldon: Despite my explanation that I was embracing my inner Kirk, my mother had me make amends for all my misdeeds. Starting in the library, where I had to reshelve hundreds of books. Well, to be honest, that one was a hoot.

Adult Sheldon: The amends got worse when Coach Wilkins made me climb the rope. Lacking any upper body strength, I hung there like a salami in a deli window.