Sheldon: Meemaw, I've been going through the church records, and I noticed you haven't made a donation in quite a long time.
Dr. John Sturgis: Why are you going through the records?
Sheldon: I'm an executive assistant.
Dr. John Sturgis: Good for you.

Sheldon: You'll be amazed to know that the Nobel Prize, while being the most prestigious award in science, is not generally celebrated in this country. No parades, no fireworks.
Which is why I thought having a breakfast celebration was not only appropriate, but long overdue. You may have noticed that I went with Cheerios, and believe me, it was a decision that I came to after careful consideration. There were birds on the Froot Loops, Cocoa Puffs and Corn Flakes, so they were out. And leprechauns and elves are magical creatures that would be a slap in the face to the scientific community. Anyway, the festivities begin at 4:30 a.m. You're most welcome to come. As are you, unhappy bag boy.

George Sr.: What's this? "Reserved for Coach Cooper." Would you look at that. They gave me a parking spot right by the door.
Sheldon: Why?
George Sr.: I guess they're starting to appreciate my talents around here.
Sheldon: Why?

Sheldon: I have a bone to pick with you, sir.
George Jr.: What'd I do?
Sheldon: You taped over my Star Trek episode.
George Jr.: So?
Sheldon: So, now I may never get to see it. What if it was a two-parter? I can't start a two-parter on part two. That's madness.

Adult Sheldon: Let's talk about the glory of meetings. What's not to love? Agendas, detailed minutes, and if you're lucky, they begin and end with the soothing sound of discipline and rules. [gavel bangs] Ah. You can imagine my frustration when I found out East Texas Tech had faculty meetings that I was not allowed to attend.
Dr. Linkletter: Excuse me. [picks up phone]
Adult Sheldon: Not that I didn't try.
Dr. Linkletter: Goodbye, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Darn it.
[in another meeting, Dr. Linkletter notices shoes poking out from behind a curtain]
Dr. Linkletter: Sheldon, out.
Sheldon: Aw.
[in another meeting, Dr. Linkletter pulls down a newspaper that the person next to him is holding up, revealing a middle-aged woman:]
Dr. Linkletter: Sorry, I thought you were an irritating young man that won't leave me alone.
Sheldon: [hiding behind a plant] That's rude.
Dr. Linkletter: Out.

Sheldon: Well, I can lie about things, too. Did I knock your papers on the floor? [knocks papers off desk] No, I didn't. Did I move your stapler? [moves stapler] No, I didn't. Ooh, did I break your pencil? [fails to break pencil] Yes, I did.

Sheldon: Would you like to play a driving game?
Mary: Not really. I always lose.
Sheldon: I know. That's why it's fun.

Sheldon: [emerging from the boys' room] Well, that was revolting.
Mary: [arriving at Sheldon's homeroom] All right. This is your homeroom. Do you want me to go in with you?
Sheldon: No. Although I could've used you in the restroom.

Sheldon: Okay. Let the learning begin.

Sheldon: You know what I find comforting?
Mary: What's that, baby?
Sheldon: In a world filled with uncertainty, this place will be here forever.

Mary: Baby, you don't have to go to any trouble for me.
Sheldon: But I like doing things for you. You're a nice lady.

Sheldon: Meemaw?
Meemaw: What?
Sheldon: Is Dad really okay?
Meemaw: Yes.
Sheldon: I hope you're not bluffing.

Sheldon: (inspecting a comic book) 40 cents? Outrageous.

Sheldon: I've heard some interesting research about treating ulcers with antimicrobials.

Mary: Sheldon! What are you doing?
Sheldon: I just need a minute. These things are so slow. [to Dr. Eberland] Is this your family? They're lovely.

[Missy plays with Sheldon's train whistle]
Sheldon: Great, now I have to throw that out.

[flashback]
Meemaw: Open wide, Moonpie. Here comes the choo choo train. Choo choo. Mmm. Isn't that good? [CHUCKLES] That's Meemaw's famous brisket. Would you like the secret recipe? [GASPS] You promise not to tell anybody? Of course you're not gonna tell anybody. I start with a tablespoon of cumin, and then a cup of brown sugar and-
[present day]
Sheldon: I know the recipe.
George Jr.: What?
Sheldon: She told it to me.
George Jr.: When?
Sheldon: February 14, 1982. I was 23 months old, it was Valentine's Day, and Mom and Dad went out for dinner.

George Jr.: You can really remember when you were that little?
Sheldon: Uh-huh. You were there, too. You were still struggling with potty training.
George Jr.: [CHUCKLING]: I don't think so.
Sheldon: Oh, yes. Meemaw used to call you Mr. Soggy Pants.

Sheldon: Dad, could you please come into the living room?
George Sr.: What for?
Sheldon: My brain did something impressive and I'd like to share it with you.

Mary: How do you know the recipe, Shelly?
Sheldon: Meemaw told it to me on Valentine's Day, 1982. You were out with Dad seeing Cannonball Run at the dollar theater.