Sheldon Quotes

Quote from the episode Pilot

Sheldon: Georgie, did you wash your hands before dinner? Or even this week?
George Jr.: None of your business.
Sheldon: Hence the mittens.

Quote from the episode An Eagle Feather, a String Bean, and an Eskimo

Flora: I must tell you, in all the years I've been here, I have never seen such glowing letters of recommendation from a student's teachers.
George Sr.: Well, that's real nice to hear.
Flora: Now, listen to this: "Putting aside his superior intellect, Sheldon is a delight to have in the class.
He's fun-loving, easy to get along with, and always ready to help another student."
Sheldon: That doesn't sound like me at all.
Mary: Sure it does, sweetie.

Quote from the episode Poker, Faith, and Eggs

Pastor Jeff: Because the first day had just begun.
Sheldon: So, before the Big Bang?
Pastor Jeff: There was no Big Bang. There was only the Word.
Sheldon: Was the word "kaboom"?

Quote from the episode Pilot

George Sr.: You're not gonna make it in this school if you keep ratting people out.
Sheldon: But they were breaking the grooming codes and the dress codes. I saw one boy with a t-shirt that said *leaning in and whispering* "Bite me".
George Sr.: Yeah, that's terrible.
*Sheldon nods*

Quote from the episode Rockets, Communists, and the Dewey Decimal System

Tam: So we came to Medford and opened up a convenience store. My parents work 16 hours a day, seven days a week for very little money. [silence]
Sheldon: Well, that was depressing.

Quote from the episode Pilot

George Sr.: Did you ever wonder why we moved from Galveston to Medford?
Sheldon: I tend to worry about the bigger questions.
George Sr.: Okay. Well, here's why. Your Dad had a real good coaching job and I saw some grown-ups breaking rules.
Sheldon: What'd they do?
George Sr.: I-It's kind of complicated, but football coaches aren't allowed to recruit kids from other high schools to play on their teams.
Sheldon: And you told on them?
George Sr.: Yeah. You know what happened?
Sheldon: Justice descended on the rule breakers?

Quote from the episode An Eagle Feather, a String Bean, and an Eskimo

George Sr.: Sheldon, can you come in here for a minute?!
Sheldon: Yes?
George Sr.: Have a seat. We want to talk to you.
Sheldon: All right.
George Sr.: So, today we found out about a school in Dallas for really smart kids.
Sheldon: When can I start?
Mary: Hold on. Dallas is far away, so you'd have to live with another family.
Sheldon: Do they have a dog?
Mary: Uh, we don't know.
Sheldon: Well, can you make some calls?
Mary: I guess, but wouldn't you miss your mom and dad?
Sheldon: Oh. Yes, I suppose I will. So, when are you calling about the dog?

Quote from the episode Dolomite, Apple Slices, and a Mystery Woman

Libby: What are you doing?
Sheldon: I need to use the bathroom, but it can get uncivilized in there.
Libby: Anyone in there now?
Sheldon: I don't know. I was afraid to find out.
Libby: Anybody in here? Go ahead. I'll stand guard.
Sheldon: Where have you been all my life?

Quote from the episode Dolomite, Apple Slices, and a Mystery Woman

Sheldon: Thank you.
Libby: Happy to help.
Sheldon: Is there any chance you'd be available to stand guard at 1:45?
Libby: You have a bathroom schedule?
Sheldon: You don't?

Quote from the episode Dolomite, Apple Slices, and a Mystery Woman

Mary: Hey. I want to talk to you.
Sheldon: Hold on. Let me bring this into the station so as not to disappoint my commuters. They'd like to get home to their families.