Sheldon Quotes

Quote from the episode Pilot

Mary: That's enough. Now, let's pray.
Sheldon: A moment please.
George Sr.: Hmm.
Mary: Leave him be.
George Sr.: He can hold hands with his family. It won't kill him.
Sheldon: We don't know that.

Quote from the episode Pilot

Sheldon: Georgie, did you wash your hands before dinner? Or even this week?
George Jr.: None of your business.
Sheldon: Hence the mittens.

Quote from the episode An Eagle Feather, a String Bean, and an Eskimo

Flora: I must tell you, in all the years I've been here, I have never seen such glowing letters of recommendation from a student's teachers.
George Sr.: Well, that's real nice to hear.
Flora: Now, listen to this: "Putting aside his superior intellect, Sheldon is a delight to have in the class.
He's fun-loving, easy to get along with, and always ready to help another student."
Sheldon: That doesn't sound like me at all.
Mary: Sure it does, sweetie.

Quote from the episode A Solar Calculator, a Game Ball, and a Cheerleader's Bosom

Sheldon: Well, I'm glad you're enjoying it.
Tam: You're not?
Sheldon: I was touched 82 times this afternoon.
Tam: What do you mean, "touched"?
Sheldon: Not inappropriately. Joyfully. Affectionately. A cheerleader hugged me to her bosom.
Tam: That's amazing. [goes to high five Sheldon]
Sheldon: No more high fives. I can't keep washing my hands.

Quote from the episode Pilot

George Sr.: You're not gonna make it in this school if you keep ratting people out.
Sheldon: But they were breaking the grooming codes and the dress codes. I saw one boy with a t-shirt that said *leaning in and whispering* "Bite me".
George Sr.: Yeah, that's terrible.
*Sheldon nods*

Quote from the episode A Mother, a Child, and a Blue Man's Backside

Mrs. Costello: Okay, let's see. What about Caltech in Pasadena?
Sheldon: I can't see myself living in California. I don't trust their carefree lifestyle.

Quote from the episode A Patch, a Modem, and a Zantac

Sheldon: Hello, First National Bank. I'd like to speak with a loan officer. It's regarding a second mortgage on my home. My name is Sheldon Lee Cooper. Sure, I'll hold. Oh, I hate hold music.

Quote from the episode Poker, Faith, and Eggs

Pastor Jeff: Because the first day had just begun.
Sheldon: So, before the Big Bang?
Pastor Jeff: There was no Big Bang. There was only the Word.
Sheldon: Was the word "kaboom"?

Quote from the episode Dolomite, Apple Slices, and a Mystery Woman

Mary: Hey. I want to talk to you.
Sheldon: Hold on. Let me bring this into the station so as not to disappoint my commuters. They'd like to get home to their families.

Quote from the episode Rockets, Communists, and the Dewey Decimal System

Ms. Hutchins: Aw, honey, you having a hard time adjusting to high school?
Sheldon: I'm having a hard time adjusting to Earth.