Adult Sheldon: Let's talk about the glory of meetings. What's not to love? Agendas, detailed minutes, and if you're lucky, they begin and end with the soothing sound of discipline and rules. [gavel bangs] Ah. You can imagine my frustration when I found out East Texas Tech had faculty meetings that I was not allowed to attend.
Dr. Linkletter: Excuse me. [picks up phone]
Adult Sheldon: Not that I didn't try.
Dr. Linkletter: Goodbye, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Darn it.
[in another meeting, Dr. Linkletter notices shoes poking out from behind a curtain]
Dr. Linkletter: Sheldon, out.
Sheldon: Aw.
[in another meeting, Dr. Linkletter pulls down a newspaper that the person next to him is holding up, revealing a middle-aged woman:]
Dr. Linkletter: Sorry, I thought you were an irritating young man that won't leave me alone.
Sheldon: [hiding behind a plant] That's rude.
Dr. Linkletter: Out.

Sheldon: Missy and I broke a lot of rules the other night, and we've received no punishment.
George: [sighs] Buddy, it's been a rough week. We're just glad you're both safe.
Sheldon: But in the absence of a divine being, society's rules are what keeps a person's morality in check.
George: Well, there you go.
Sheldon: No, y-you're not following me. If actions have no repercussions, society breaks down, everything devolves into chaos.
George: You might be overthinking this.
Sheldon: I thought so, too. Then I thought about it, and I'm not.
George: Sheldon, you had one bad night. Just let it go.
Sheldon: But... I did something wrong and I got away with it. That's not okay.
George: Buddy...
Sheldon: Socrates maintained that the man who lies to himself has an enemy living within. He's not even a person. He's just a chaos of selfish desires wrapped in an animal hide.

Sheldon: Unbelievable. It's either cartoons or men in their underwear banging their heads together.
Ricky: You complain a lot.
Sheldon: Excuse me?
Ricky: Seriously, dude, you need to relax.
Sheldon: How can I relax? I'm being held captive in a bacterial playground.

Ms. MacElroy: Now, can anyone tell me why Melville shifts the narrative voice from Ishmael to Ahab? [Ms. MacElroy waits for somebody else to raise their hand] Sheldon.
Sheldon: I have a tummyache. I'd like to see the nurse.
Derek: A "tummyache"?
Sheldon: Yes, Derek, I have a tummy and it aches. Ergo, tummyache.
Derek: Ergo?
Sheldon: It's Latin, Derek.
Ms. MacElroy: Go to the nurse.
Sheldon: And to answer your question, the shifting point of view grants the reader a broader perspective of events than typically allowed by first-person narration.
Ms. MacElroy: Where were we?
Sheldon: And "ergo" is Latin for "hence," Derek.

Pastor Jeff: Hey, Mary. Quick question. Why can I see you through my newsletter?
Mary: Oh, sorry, I had to remove one of the ads.
Pastor Jeff: Was there anything important on the other side?
Mary: Just Peg's recipe for her grape salad.
Pastor Jeff: With the mayonnaise and the pretzels. Barf.

Mary: You are unbelievable. It is bad enough for you to do all this stuff, but then to drag Georgie down into your den of sin.
Meemaw: Oh, please, it's not a den of sin. Although that is a great name. Den of Sin. That would get some butts in seats. [Mary exclaims]

Mary: [prays] Please watch over Missy and Sheldon and especially Georgie. And please don't let my failings as a mother get in the way of Your plans for their lives. Amen. [gasps] Hey, baby. What's wrong?
Sheldon: Is it that obvious?
Mary: Well, you are outside, where birds live.
Sheldon: True. I'll make it quick. I'm experiencing what the Germans call weltschmerz.
Mary: Uh-huh. And what do Americans call it?
Sheldon: The pain of the world.
Mary: Sounds more fun in German.
Sheldon: Most things do.