Sheldon Quotes

Quote from the episode A Computer, a Plastic Pony, and a Case of Beer

Meemaw: Hey, kids, come here. Look at that. It looks like your mom and dad are gonna be all right.
Missy: Does this mean we're going home?
Meemaw: It appears so.
Sheldon: I didn't even get to wear my earmuffs yet.

Quote from the episode A Computer, a Plastic Pony, and a Case of Beer

Sheldon: And this program will allow us to track our family finances, create a budget, and prepare tax documents.
George Sr.: That's impressive.
Sheldon: Would you like to know how much money you spend on beer annually?
George Sr.: No.
Mary: I would.
Sheldon: $936.
Mary: George!
Sheldon: If you switched to Hawaiian Punch, we could live in a bigger house.

Quote from the episode A Computer, a Plastic Pony, and a Case of Beer

Computer: Hello, I am Eliza.
Sheldon: [typing] My parents are fighting a lot.
Computer: I see. Can you elaborate on that?
Sheldon: My mother bought me this computer but my dad says we can't afford it.
Computer: Do you have issues with your mother?
Sheldon: Mmm, no. She makes me spaghetti with hot dogs cut up in it.
Computer: Can you elaborate on that?
Sheldon: Are you going to help me or not?
Computer: Hello, I am Eliza.
Sheldon: The future might be overrated.

Quote from the episode A Computer, a Plastic Pony, and a Case of Beer

George Jr.: Hey. I hope you're happy.
Sheldon: Thank you, Georgie. That's very kind.

Quote from the episode A Computer, a Plastic Pony, and a Case of Beer

Sheldon: I'm sorry, Georgie, I didn't know.
George Jr.: Yeah, well, now you do. What did you get?
Sheldon: A turkey sandwich Mom cut in the shape of a heart, a fruit cup, a brownie, and a note from Meemaw saying how much she loves me. I haven't read it yet, but I bet it's a lot.

Quote from the episode A Computer, a Plastic Pony, and a Case of Beer

Missy: Are you and Dad gonna get a divorce?
Mary: Of course not.
Sheldon: Are you sure? Packing up your kids in the middle of the night and moving in with your mom has all the earmarks of a divorce.

Quote from the episode A Computer, a Plastic Pony, and a Case of Beer

Mary: Sheldon and Missy, we are out of here in half an hour.
Sheldon: Not a lot of time to pick a toothbrush.

Quote from the episode A Computer, a Plastic Pony, and a Case of Beer

Sheldon: Mom?
Mary: Why are you still up?
Sheldon: Madame Curie is on the roof, and she's not wearing her hat.
Mary: You're just dreaming, baby.
Sheldon: But she'll be cold without her hat.
Mary: I'll give her mine. Now you go to sleep.
Sheldon: Mm, thanks, Mom. You're the best.

Quote from the episode A Computer, a Plastic Pony, and a Case of Beer

Sheldon: But we can get so much accomplished. I could use a spreadsheet program to keep track of your expenses.
Mary: I do that in the back of my checkbook.
Sheldon: Yes, but does your checkbook go "beep" when you open it? I don't think so. Plus, the computer can organize your recipes.
Mary: But my recipes are organized.
Sheldon: On index cards. Like a cave person.

Quote from the episode A Computer, a Plastic Pony, and a Case of Beer

Sheldon: Sorry, Dave. We're living paycheck to paycheck.