Missy: What are you doing?
Sheldon: Trying to calculate the odds of the Dolphins covering the spread next Sunday.
Missy: I like dolphins. They talk out of that hole in their head.

Sheldon: What's going on?
Missy: Mom and Dad are fighting.
Sheldon: What about?
Missy: Brisket. If they get a divorce, who do you think you'll pick to live with?
Sheldon: Well, Mom, of course.
Missy: I want Mom. Pick again.

Missy: How come I don't get to go?
Mary: 'Cause you, me and Meemaw are gonna have our own fun.
Missy: Could we shoot guns at the gun range?
Mary: Mm, you're too young to go to the gun range.
Missy: Meemaw took me.
Meemaw: We pinky swore. What are you doing?
Missy: Oh, yeah. Don't listen to me. I don't know what I'm saying.

Mary: Finish your dinner and then pack a bag. We are going to Meemaw's.
George Jr.: Why?
Mary: Because your mom and dad need a break from each other.
Sheldon: For how long?
Mary: I don't know. Just pack.
Sheldon: Will I need earmuffs?
Mary: Sure, if you want.
Sheldon: Although my almanac does predict mild temperatures.
Mary: Then don't bring it.
Sheldon: I'll just bring my almanac. You know what, I'll bring both. Should I pack my toothbrush or use the one I keep at Meemaw's?
Missy: I got this one. Nobody cares.

George Sr.: I was just thinking that, uh, you and me, you know, we don't spend much time together. You know, we should find something to do, just-just two of us.
Missy: Like what?
George Sr.: You tell me. What-what sounds fun?
Missy: I'd like to be taken to dinner.
George Sr.: Great. Where?
Missy: To the fanciest restaurant in all of Texas.
George Sr.: Which is?
Missy: Red Lobster, where the surf meets the turf.
George Sr.: You got it.
Missy: Thanks, Dad. Mom, you got to take me shopping! I need a dress!

Sheldon: Hi, Mom.
Mary: What did you do?!
Sheldon: Good news. I found out what part was making that noise.
Mary: You have to put this back together!
Missy: Now we're getting to the bad news.
Mary: What made you think you could fix this?
Sheldon: I'm smart and I had a book.
Mary: Do you still think you're smart?
Sheldon: Yes.
Missy: I told him not to do it. He wouldn't listen.

George Sr.: Where's Georgie?
Mary: I don't know. I called him ten minutes ago.
Missy: He's probably curled up in a ball, crying about Veronica.
Mary: Why do you say that?
Missy: It's just what I'm hearing.
George Jr.: From who?
Missy: I'm kinda plugged into this town.

Mary: Shelly, it's probably just your taste buds changing as you get older.
Sheldon: But I don't like change.
Missy: Then you're gonna hate puberty.

Sheldon: Mom and Dad won't take me to California to see Stephen Hawking.
Missy: You thought they would take you to California?
Sheldon: Yes.
Missy: They wouldn't even buy me this book at the book fair. I had to get it at the library. There's a booger on one of the pages.

Missy: Why didn't you eat with us?
Sheldon: I'm not hungry. Dad's mad at me.
Missy: Mom's not thrilled with me, either.
Sheldon: Why?
Missy: Mom made chicken, and I said chickens cluck a lot, so they should be called "cluckers." And some chickens are moms, so you could call them "mother..."
Sheldon: I don't care.
Missy: Mom sure did.
Missy: What did you do wrong?
Sheldon: I got Dad in trouble with the IRS. He has to hire an accountant, which could cost us a lot of money.
Missy: Dang, makes me not want to have kids.

Sheldon: You were there. Don't you remember?
Missy: [SIGHS] I got nothing.

Missy: I can't believe Mom and Dad had a fight over beer.
Sheldon: I don't think the fight was about beer. I think there was more subtext.
Missy: You're probably right. Then again, I don't know what subtext is.

Meemaw: So what do you think, George? Is it time to have "the talk" with him?
Missy: What talk?
Mary: No talk. Nobody's talking.
Sheldon: If "the talk" is in regards to human reproduction, I already understand how that works.
Mary: How do you know that?
Missy: I told him.
Mary: Oh, Lord.

George Jr.: Too bad he didn't know Herschel. He can fix anything. Guy's a genius.
George Sr.: You mean a car genius.
Missy: Is Dad getting his feelings hurt? "Yes." The ball don't lie.

Tam: Why are you wearing that?
Missy: It makes me look older.

George Jr.: This is serious. Sheldon, you've got to tell Dad that recipe.
Sheldon: But Meemaw told me it was a secret.
George Jr.: If you don't, and Mom and Dad get a divorce, it's your fault.
Sheldon: All right. Fine.
Missy: Good job, Soggy Pants.

Missy: You got my message! Hi-yah! [jumping across to Sheldon's bed]
Sheldon: No hugging! No hugging! [Missy laughing]

Mary: Well, now, we're not exactly done shopping. Sheldon, you still want that computer?
Sheldon: I thought we couldn't afford it.
Mary: Don't you worry about that. Do you want it or not?
Sheldon: More than anything.
Mary: All right, then, let's go get it.
Missy: Wait. He gets a computer and I get a lousy toy?
Mary: I thought you liked it.
Missy: Not anymore.

George Sr.: Why's he want to study acting?
Mary: The doctor encouraged him to try something different.
Missy: Maybe he'll learn to act normal.
Mary: How about you learn to act nice?
Missy: You people don't appreciate my sense of humor.

Missy: Do you think we're stupid?
George Jr.: Sheldon's in college right now, and we can't figure out your homework. What do you think?
Missy: Sometimes I tell myself I only look stupid because he's so smart.