Mary: Finish your dinner and then pack a bag. We are going to Meemaw's.
George Jr.: Why?
Mary: Because your mom and dad need a break from each other.
Sheldon: For how long?
Mary: I don't know. Just pack.
Sheldon: Will I need earmuffs?
Mary: Sure, if you want.
Sheldon: Although my almanac does predict mild temperatures.
Mary: Then don't bring it.
Sheldon: I'll just bring my almanac. You know what, I'll bring both. Should I pack my toothbrush or use the one I keep at Meemaw's?
Missy: I got this one. Nobody cares.

Mary: Bless us, Lord, for the food we are about to receive and bless the hands that prepared it.
Missy: And bless Mom.
Mary: Thank you. Amen.
Missy: Amen.
George Jr.: Amen.
Sheldon: She's the hands that prepared it. Your blessing is redundant.
Mary: Let's eat.

Missy: Eat dirt. Eat it.
Meemaw: Kick his ass!
Missy: Does it taste good? Huh?
Dale: Yeah, listen to your meemaw. Kick his ass!
Missy: You gonna cry? Huh? Do it. Cry.
Mary: Do something. Break it up.
George Sr.: H-Hang on. She's winning.
Mary: Missy! Missy Cooper, you stop beating up that boy!
Meemaw: Punch him in the nuts!

Missy: Someone's Underoos are in a knot.
Sheldon: My Underoos are fitting just fine, thank you.
Missy: Then why is there a stick up your butt?
Sheldon: Stop making inquiries about my bottom.
Missy: But I enjoy it.

George Jr.: What are you doing?
George Sr.: Separating the whites from the colors.
George Jr.: Whoa, that's racist.

George Jr.: Maybe you should go across the street and apologize.
George Sr.: I can't do that.
George Jr.: Why not?
George Sr.: 'Cause if I do, it sets a bad precedent.
George Jr.: What's Nixon got to do with it?
George Sr.: What?
George Jr.: You said "bad president," like Nixon. You know, this guy.

Meemaw: I could buy it for him, and then y'all could pay me back when you can.
George Sr.: Okay, Connie, now you're just insulting me.
Meemaw: Well, that was not my intention, but I'm glad to hear it.