Missy: Do you think we're stupid?
George Jr.: Sheldon's in college right now, and we can't figure out your homework. What do you think?
Missy: Sometimes I tell myself I only look stupid because he's so smart.

Mary: Bless us, Lord, for the food we are about to receive and bless the hands that prepared it.
Missy: And bless Mom.
Mary: Thank you. Amen.
Missy: Amen.
George Jr.: Amen.
Sheldon: She's the hands that prepared it. Your blessing is redundant.
Mary: Let's eat.

Missy: Eat dirt. Eat it.
Meemaw: Kick his ass!
Missy: Does it taste good? Huh?
Dale: Yeah, listen to your meemaw. Kick his ass!
Missy: You gonna cry? Huh? Do it. Cry.
Mary: Do something. Break it up.
George Sr.: H-Hang on. She's winning.
Mary: Missy! Missy Cooper, you stop beating up that boy!
Meemaw: Punch him in the nuts!

Missy: Someone's Underoos are in a knot.
Sheldon: My Underoos are fitting just fine, thank you.
Missy: Then why is there a stick up your butt?
Sheldon: Stop making inquiries about my bottom.
Missy: But I enjoy it.

Sheldon: I've been corresponding with Dr. John Sturgis at East Texas Tech. He said I could audit his course.
Meemaw: You're pen pals with a stranger? Is this okay?
Sheldon: He's not a stranger. He's a famous scientist. He carbon-dated the oldest human feces.
Meemaw: That ain't strange.

Mary: Now, Shelly, I appreciate that you want to expand your horizons, but how would you even get there? The school's an hour away. I'm working, your dad's working.
George Jr.: Again, who cares? Let him go.
Missy: He could hitchhike.
George Jr.: Perfect.

Meemaw: So, how was everybody's day?
Sheldon: I'm done with high school.
George Sr.: What does that mean?
Sheldon: Well, I don't learn anything there, and I don't want to go anymore.
Mary: Well, where do you think you're gonna go?
George Jr.: Who cares? Let him go.