Pastor Jeff: Now before we get started this morning, I want to introduce two new students, Sheldon and Missy Cooper. Let's give them a warm welcome. (APPLAUSE) Yes, Billy?
Billy Sparks: I know them.
Pastor Jeff: Thank you, Billy.
Billy Sparks: You're welcome, Pastor Jeff.

Billy Sparks: My mom also hates their grandma.
Missy: 'Cause she lost a fight to her.
Billy Sparks: Nuh-uh, she won. She said so.

Missy: Isn't he pretty?
Bobbi Sparks: Very pretty.
Billy Sparks: I feel pretty.

Brenda Sparks: We're having spaghetti.
Sheldon: With hot dogs cut up in it?
Brenda Sparks: Ew, no.
Sheldon: I'd like to go home, please.
Missy: We can't.
Billy Sparks: How come?
Brenda Sparks: Yeah, how come?
Missy: We don't know.
Sheldon: The leading theory is my father's dying.
Brenda Sparks: I don't think that's it.
Missy: Well, something's wrong.
Billy Sparks: Maybe they're getting divorced like my mom and dad.
Brenda Sparks: Billy! We don't talk about that.
Billy Sparks: [smiles] Never mind.

Missy: I think she's asleep.
Billy Sparks: What if she's dead?
Peg: [snores]
Missy: [whispers] She's not dead.
Billy Sparks: She looks dead.
Peg: I'm not dead.

Melissa: Well, isn't that something. Now, y'all be safe and have a fun night.
Billy Sparks: I'm Super-[door shuts]

Billy Sparks: What do you know about me?
Pastor Rob: Hmm. Billy Sparks. Sixth grade. Also plays baseball, but maybe not as good as her.
Billy Sparks: Whoa.

George Sr.: I'm gonna take him to the emergency room. Come on. You gonna be okay?
Sheldon: Yeah.
Billy Sparks: Have fun!

George Sr.: Do you know anything about poker?
Billy Sparks: No.
Principal Petersen: That's all right, neither does this guy. [laughter]
Mr. Givens: Good one, boss.
Billy Sparks: This is fun.
Coach Wilkins: Good. Glad you're here.
Billy Sparks: My dad never let me play cards with him. And then he left.
Mr. Givens: Sorry, are we still playing? 'Cause I've got a really good hand.

Billy Sparks: Hi, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Hello, Billy. I hear you're not feeling well.
Billy Sparks: I'm not. I have a cold.
Sheldon: That's too bad. Put her there.
Billy Sparks: Why?
Sheldon: Just shake my hand, Billy.
Billy Sparks: But my mom says that's how germs get spread.
Sheldon: I know.
Billy Sparks: You do? When did you talk to my mom?
Sheldon: Just, eh- [Sheldon grabs Billy's hand and rubs it over his face] Ugh!
Billy Sparks: Wait, want to play? Aw.

[Sheldon shows Billy the sketch he drew of him:]
Billy Sparks: I'm beautiful.

Billy Sparks: Missy, will you rub your cross on my bat?
Missy: No.
Mary: Have you been doing that?
Missy: On mine. It's working great.
Billy Sparks: Please? I'll give you a dollar.
Missy: Fine.
Mary: What do you think you're doing?
Missy: Sharing God's love and making some cash. Absolutely not.
Billy Sparks: How about I give you the dollar?
Mary: God's love has nothing to do with money.
Missy: What about the collection plate at church?
Mary: That is different.
Billy Sparks: That's where I found this dollar.
Mary: Okay.
Billy Sparks: Bye.

Billy Sparks: Uh, hello, Mr. Cooper. Is Missy home?
George Sr.: Hello, Billy. No, she's at church.
Billy Sparks: I brought her eggs from my chickens.
George Sr.: I see that.
Billy Sparks: You can boil them or scramble them.
George Sr.: Okay.
Billy Sparks: I like fried.
George Sr.: Okay.
Billy Sparks: I don't like poached.
George Sr.: Okay. Thank you for your time. [hands over the eggs]
Billy Sparks: Okay.

Billy Sparks: What now?
George Sr.: Uh, run outside and turn the water back on.
Billy Sparks: [hands over screwdriver] Here, I'm not allowed to run with this.
Brenda Sparks: We've had a lot of incidents.

Brenda Sparks: Oh, so you're spying on us. Good to know.