Missy: [whispers] Did you ever find out where your mom was the other day?
Billy Sparks: [whispers] She was at the hospital for your brother's baby.
Missy: What?
Billy Sparks: Did you not know he had one? It's a girl.

Pastor Jeff: Yes, Billy?
Billy Sparks: They live on my block.
Pastor Jeff: Terrific.

Billy Sparks: Hey, Sheldon. You look sad.
Sheldon: I am.
Billy Sparks: Want an egg?

Missy: Your dad can't eat Matilda.
Billy Sparks: Sure, he can. He eats everything.
Missy: Billy, you've raised her from a chick. She's like your child. You wouldn't let somebody eat your child.
Billy Sparks: Does my child taste like chicken?
Missy: Billy!
Billy Sparks: Missy!

Billy Sparks: I brought you food.
Missy: Thanks, but I'm not hungry.
Billy Sparks: I'm real sorry. Your dad was always nice to me.
Missy: He liked you.
Billy Sparks: Now you and I have something in common.
Missy: What's that?
Billy Sparks: My dad's gone, too.
Missy: Your dad's in New Jersey.
Billy Sparks: Yeah, but he's not coming back.
Missy: Sorry.
Billy Sparks: Want a hug?
Missy: No.
Billy Sparks: Want a kiss?
Missy: No!
Billy Sparks: Yeah, me neither.

Tam: You walk down a hallway and come to a wooden chest. Lord Gray Matter, what do you do?
Sheldon: I poke it with my dagger to see if there are any traps.
Tam: There are no traps. Fire Beak, what do you do? Billy?
Billy Sparks: What?
Tam: You are Fire Beak.
Billy Sparks: Okay.
Tam: So what do you do?
Billy Sparks: I'm Fire Beak.

Sheldon: Welcome to the Church of Mathology. Today, I'd like to talk about prime numbers, and why they bring us joy.
Billy Sparks: Hallelujah!

George: Okay, Sheldon, try having a conversation with Billy about science. Let's see. Uh, what do you know about quantum mechanics?
Billy Sparks: My dad's a mechanic. At his shop, he has a calendar with a bikini lady on it.
Sheldon: Dad...
George: Instead of losing patience, act interested and ask a follow-up question.
Sheldon: Your father's a mechanic. Interesting. You know what else is interesting? Quantum mechanics. That describes the basic particles and forces that make up reality. Let's talk about that.
Billy Sparks: I'm gonna marry that bikini lady.

Sheldon: I've been working on a theory about the wave-particle duality of light.
Billy Sparks: I have a nightlight that looks like Spider-Man, but I don't turn it on. [Sheldon looks at George]
George: Go ahead.
Sheldon: Why don't you turn it on?
Billy Sparks: I'm afraid of spiders.
George: Yeah, seems like a good place to stop.
Billy Sparks: Now what happens?
Sheldon: You go home.
Billy Sparks: Thank you for your hospitality.

Sheldon: She did it because Pharaoh ordered all the male babies to be killed.
Missy: That's really in the Bible?
Sheldon: Yes.
Missy: And Mom won't let me read Judy Blume.
Billy Sparks: Sheila the Great changed my life.

Billy Sparks: Hey, Missy.
Missy: Hey. What are you doing?
Billy Sparks: Just breaking in my new shoes for school. They're brown.
Missy: Cool. Can I watch your TV?
Billy Sparks: Sure. [leather squeaking] That squeaking you're hearing is my new shoes.

Missy: Where's your mom at?
Billy Sparks: She went to my Aunt Sylvia's for a few days. Aunt Sylvia has a big lump on her neck.
Missy: So you're alone?
Billy Sparks: Just me and my chickens.
Missy: Billy, we have to throw a party.
Billy Sparks: For the chickens?
Missy: No! For us!

Missy: What do you mean "why"? Your mom's not home.
Billy Sparks: What would we do? Play games?
Missy: Yeah, drinking games.
Billy Sparks: Like when you paid me a dollar to chug a gallon of milk?
Missy: That was a different game, and I'm sorry.
Billy Sparks: Boy, did I throw up.
Missy: For this party, I'm thinking beer.
Billy Sparks: We're not old enough to drink beer.
Missy: That's why kids'll come.
Billy Sparks: Smart. Do you think they'll like eggs? I have so many eggs.

Donny: Hey, mister, will you buy us some beer?
Billy Sparks: I'm not old enough. [they walk off] Those guys thought I was a grown-up.
Missy: Billy!
Billy Sparks: What?
[cut to the inside of the liquor store:]
Clark: Here's your change.
Billy Sparks: [deeper voice] Thank you.
[Billy just stands there]
Clark: You can go now.
Billy Sparks: Thank you.

[Sheldon shows Billy the sketch he drew of him:]
Billy Sparks: I'm beautiful.