Missy: So it's not gonna be scary?
Mary: It will, but without all the blood and gore.
Missy: But I like blood and gore.

Billy Sparks: I like it.
Missy: It likes you.
Billy Sparks: How much?
Missy: Five dollars.
Billy Sparks: I only have 50 cents.
Missy: That's okay. We're haggling.
Billy Sparks: I don't know what that means.
Missy: You make me an offer, and we meet in the middle.
Billy Sparks: The middle of what?
Missy: I'm not really sure.

Dr. John Sturgis: Mary, I just can't thank you enough for inviting me today.
Mary: You're very welcome, John. Love having you here.
Dr. John Sturgis: Last Thanksgiving, I just sat in my apartment all by myself and ate a turkey sandwich.
Meemaw: That is so sad.
Dr. John Sturgis: Well, it wasn't at the time, but now that I have something to compare it to, I realize what a pathetic loser I was.
Meemaw: You were never a loser.
Missy: Yeah, you were.

George Sr.: Hey, so listen, how attached are you to living here in Medford?
Missy: I don't know what that means.
George Sr.: If we moved away, do you have really good friends that you'd miss a lot?
Missy: I have really good friends, but I think they would mostly miss me.
George Sr.: 'Cause you make friends wherever you go.
Missy: I do. People are drawn to me.

Mary: Missy?
Missy: I'm thankful that there's two different Ghostbuster cartoons.
Meemaw: That's it?
Missy: Unless you know about a third one.

Mary: You kids excited to go back to school?
Sheldon: Of course I am.
Missy: He doesn't speak for me.

Paige: Did you know that tea was discovered by accident?
Missy: I didn't, but I don't know lots of stuff.
Paige: The Emperor Shennong of China was boiling water in his garden and a leaf from a tea tree fell into his pot.
Missy: Tea comes from trees?
Paige: Where'd you think it comes from?
Missy: The supermarket.

Sheldon: True or false? At times, you have referred to yourself as being dumb.
Missy: True.
Sheldon: And do you enjoy feeling that way?
Missy: No.
Sheldon: Well, let me change that. I'm presenting you with an opportunity to achieve the full potential of your mind.
Missy: Are you gonna do some experiment where we switch brains?
Sheldon: No.
Missy: 'Cause I've seen it on Gilligan's Island and I've seen it on The Flintstones and it never goes well.

Missy: Why do we need the camera?
Sheldon: So people in the future can see your transformation. Where are you going?
Missy: To put on a dress for the future people.

Missy: Dear Alf, I'm your number one fan. I like you because you're an alien but you're funny, unlike my brother who's an alien but just a jerk. Anyway, I hope you're enjoying your time here on our planet and have found things to eat other than cats. I recommend chicken nuggets. Sincerely, Missy Cooper, age ten.

Missy: Where's your gallbladder? I want to see it.
Nurse Robinson: They throw it away, honey.
George Jr.: Why?
Missy: Aww.

Sheldon: Can I go home now?
Mary: No, baby, they need to keep you here a little while, make sure you're okay.
Sheldon: Overnight?
George Sr.: Actually, a few nights.
Sheldon: No, tell them I'm going home.
Mary: Shelly, the doctors know what's best for you.
Sheldon: What's best for me is to be at home, in my own bed, with my books and my computer.
George Sr.: Well, I can bring you whatever you want. Just-just tell me.
Sheldon: I just told you: bring me home.
Meemaw: Moonpie, you're looking at this all wrong. You got your own room here, your own TV.
Sheldon: Is no one listening to me? I want to go home.
Missy: I'm listening, but I have no say in this.

George Sr.: Hey. Don't talk about your brother like that.
George Jr.: Since when are you on his side?
Missy: Since Dad almost let him die.

Missy: Mrs. Sparks' credit card got declined at Payless.
George Sr.: No kidding.
Missy: She went nuts. But you didn't hear it from me.

Sheldon: Dad, I don't want to get ahead of myself, but I think I solved our electricity problem.
Mary: Not now, Sheldon.
George Sr.: I wouldn't mind hearing it.
Mary: Who?
Missy: If you want, I'll ask around.

Missy: And then Bryan Larkin read the letter out loud in the hall.
George Sr.: No.
Missy: Georgie used the word "love," like, 30 times. It was pathetic.
George Sr.: That hurts to hear.
Missy: Really? I think it's hilarious. Also, my math teacher's pregnant.
George Sr.: Well, that's nice.
Missy: [QUIETLY] It might not be her husband's.
George Sr.: Whose do you think it is?

Missy: How old was Mom when you let her wear makeup?
Meemaw: I don't know, I didn't really have rules like that.
Missy: See? How come you're so cool and she's such a dud?
Meemaw: Well, I wouldn't call her a dud.
Missy: What would you call her?
Meemaw: Point is, she wasn't always like that.
Missy: What was she like?
Meemaw: When she was a teenager, she was just wild.
Missy: Really?
Meemaw: Oh, yeah. She used to wait until I went to sleep and then she would sneak out and get into trouble with her friends.
Missy: My mom?
Meemaw: Your mom. And then she would climb up the tree on the side of the house and sneak back in.
Missy: Amazing.
Meemaw: Is that how you're getting in?
Missy: I will never tell you that.

Missy: What's a hackle?

Mary: Missy, did your sandwich taste different today?
Missy: Couldn't tell you. I traded it for a Ding Dong.

Mary: I think it's certainly possible. Do you have a campaign strategy?
Sheldon: No.
Mary: Do you have a catchy slogan?
Sheldon: No.
Missy: Does he have a shot at winning? No.