Missy: Why do we need the camera?
Sheldon: So people in the future can see your transformation. Where are you going?
Missy: To put on a dress for the future people.

Mary: Bless us, Lord, for the food we are about to receive and bless the hands that prepared it.
Missy: And bless Mom.
Mary: Thank you. Amen.
Missy: Amen.
George Jr.: Amen.
Sheldon: She's the hands that prepared it. Your blessing is redundant.
Mary: Let's eat.

Missy: Eat dirt. Eat it.
Meemaw: Kick his ass!
Missy: Does it taste good? Huh?
Dale: Yeah, listen to your meemaw. Kick his ass!
Missy: You gonna cry? Huh? Do it. Cry.
Mary: Do something. Break it up.
George Sr.: H-Hang on. She's winning.
Mary: Missy! Missy Cooper, you stop beating up that boy!
Meemaw: Punch him in the nuts!

Missy: Someone's Underoos are in a knot.
Sheldon: My Underoos are fitting just fine, thank you.
Missy: Then why is there a stick up your butt?
Sheldon: Stop making inquiries about my bottom.
Missy: But I enjoy it.

Pastor Jeff: And I also want to welcome George Cooper, who has recently found his way to the Lord.
George Jr.: Howdy. Praise Jesus.

Mary: And you. Getting baptized just to kiss a girl? What were you thinking?
George Jr.: Sounds like you know what I was thinking.

George Jr.: You here to see me?
Veronica: I'm here for your mom's Bible study.
George Jr.: Oh, sure, of course. I'm glad you could join us. Come in, won't you?
Veronica: You're part of the group, too?
George Jr.: Faith, the Bible, God, I'm nuts for that stuff.