Sheldon: Can I go home now?
Mary: No, baby, they need to keep you here a little while, make sure you're okay.
Sheldon: Overnight?
George Sr.: Actually, a few nights.
Sheldon: No, tell them I'm going home.
Mary: Shelly, the doctors know what's best for you.
Sheldon: What's best for me is to be at home, in my own bed, with my books and my computer.
George Sr.: Well, I can bring you whatever you want. Just-just tell me.
Sheldon: I just told you: bring me home.
Meemaw: Moonpie, you're looking at this all wrong. You got your own room here, your own TV.
Sheldon: Is no one listening to me? I want to go home.
Missy: I'm listening, but I have no say in this.

Mary: Bless us, Lord, for the food we are about to receive and bless the hands that prepared it.
Missy: And bless Mom.
Mary: Thank you. Amen.
Missy: Amen.
George Jr.: Amen.
Sheldon: She's the hands that prepared it. Your blessing is redundant.
Mary: Let's eat.

Missy: Eat dirt. Eat it.
Meemaw: Kick his ass!
Missy: Does it taste good? Huh?
Dale: Yeah, listen to your meemaw. Kick his ass!
Missy: You gonna cry? Huh? Do it. Cry.
Mary: Do something. Break it up.
George Sr.: H-Hang on. She's winning.
Mary: Missy! Missy Cooper, you stop beating up that boy!
Meemaw: Punch him in the nuts!

Missy: Someone's Underoos are in a knot.
Sheldon: My Underoos are fitting just fine, thank you.
Missy: Then why is there a stick up your butt?
Sheldon: Stop making inquiries about my bottom.
Missy: But I enjoy it.

Ms. MacElroy: Now, can anyone tell me why Melville shifts the narrative voice from Ishmael to Ahab? [Ms. MacElroy waits for somebody else to raise their hand] Sheldon.
Sheldon: I have a tummyache. I'd like to see the nurse.
Derek: A "tummyache"?
Sheldon: Yes, Derek, I have a tummy and it aches. Ergo, tummyache.
Derek: Ergo?
Sheldon: It's Latin, Derek.
Ms. MacElroy: Go to the nurse.
Sheldon: And to answer your question, the shifting point of view grants the reader a broader perspective of events than typically allowed by first-person narration.
Ms. MacElroy: Where were we?
Sheldon: And "ergo" is Latin for "hence," Derek.

Sheldon: Unbelievable. It's either cartoons or men in their underwear banging their heads together.
Ricky: You complain a lot.
Sheldon: Excuse me?
Ricky: Seriously, dude, you need to relax.
Sheldon: How can I relax? I'm being held captive in a bacterial playground.

George Jr.: How come when I'm sick it's no big deal, but when Sheldon gets sick you act like it's the end of the world?
Mary: Because he's a fragile little boy and you're gettin' to be a big, strong man.
George Jr.: That's true. Puberty has done right by me.